The Jangette Diaries
by The Righterzpen
Summary: "Daisy" the only known female Jango clone escapes Kamino; to find herself in the middle of the moral dilemma of Order 66! With the war, her brothers and all her own issues to deal with; what will become of her, the Jedi and other clones she grows to love?
1. Chapter 1 Operation Freedom Flight

**Author's note:** This story contains references to; and mildly graphic descriptions of physical, psychological and sexual abuse of adults and (clones as) children. There are also references to suicide, drug addiction and male prostitution. Though this story does not contain "slash" there are a few references to homosexual behavior. There is one non-physically descript record of hedrosexual intercourse, as well as mild language. The other topic that is dealt with frequently is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to combat and other traumatic events.

These issues are addressed from a Christian world view. (How is that woven into a Star Wars story - you'll just have to read to find out.)

This story was written to give a thoughtful perspective on a Christian relationship to God in a science-fiction setting.

I've attempted to remain true to what is currently known of the Star Wars canon and George Lucus's interpretation of "the Force". (The force not being God.)

* * *

_This is a fan writing a fiction about Stars, Wars (and the personalities there of) which she does not own. Although most of the main characters in this story are myths of my own mind - Clone Wars personas that do appear (or are mentioned) are: Obi Wan Kanobi, Anakin Skywalker, Ashoka, Captain Rex, Commander Cody, Boba Fett and Jango Fett)_

* * *

_My literary Last Will and Testament to all the Rex / Ashoka Fans:_

_To you all; I leave an intrigue woven into a story that addresses much more than a loving thing or a one night fling. The complicated issue of officers in the same chain of command finding themselves linked by more than just orders. In any conflict this is inevitable for all who put on the garb of combat. There's ones you grow to love, ones you implicitly trust, ones you owe your life too and the few others you secretly wish the enemy would kill! _

_Needless to say:_

_Military Morale is a funny thing that way._

_So reading on for those who may wish to see;_

_A Rex / Ashoka pairing - albeit as unorthodox as this one may be! _

* * *

_As always; reviews are welcome, although I promise I won't die without them. _

* * *

**The Jangette Diaries**

"_**Operation Freedom Flight"**_

_**Day 1:**_ Proto-type female clone escapes from Kamino.

_**Day 2:**_ Here's where the real story begins.

Well I do say, I think all those years of studying combat training manuals in my "spare time" paid off. I pushed all the right buttons yesterday _(and in the right order too)_ to get this ship to jump to hyper space. That was a thrill a minute; provided I didn't end up killing myself first! Even that though, would have been better than where I came from and the plans they had for me there! Disgusting these cloners! Who's hair-brained idea was it anyways to breed clones? Isn't that why we're cloned in the first place? My sincerest apologies,_** but;**_ if the Kaminoans have problems with their gene pool? They can fix it themselves! Anyways, enough with them; I got bigger worries right now. Stay low on the profile and don't get shot down by Separatists! Seems easy enough right? Ha ha!

_**Day 3:**_ I've been scanning this shuttle's computer logs for anything that's potentially of use to me. The info on rockets, munitions and battery charges is definitely helpful. No sense in flying an armed shuttle if I don't know how to fire the damn weapons. I've logged so many hours now reading manuals though, I'm starting to dream about lasers.

I did find something of interest that rather breaks up the monotony of dry and boring weapons systems. There's a history in the data base about the Jedi. Interesting, I wonder if I'm ever going to meet one? And if I do, would they be impressed with my ability to "force" small objects? (He he!) I don't know, maybe this is one of those little secretes I should keep to myself. A force sensitive clone? What an ironic contradiction that is! But then again, I suppose _**I am**_ an ironic contradiction. Bet they never expected_** me **_to go Jango on them!

_**Day 4:**_ Well, I passed through some Hutt territory today. Wasn't as tricky as I thought it would be. I just told them my video monitor was down, so we'd have to communicate by audio only. They heard me and I do suppose, from the shuttle I'm flying; thought I was a researcher who worked on Kamino. Never knew it was actually a clone in here! I did find a way to get around the voice issue though; just use the computer's auditory translation relay. I tweaked it a little bit so I didn't sound so much like a girl. Worked well considering I don't speak Huttese; _(or at least it worked well __**this**__ time)_! What happens if I run into a ship where they actually expect to talk to _me_ and not my computer translator? Hum? What then? It'd be a little awkward to video monitor with a helmet on. What's wrong with that stupid clone and why does his voice sound so funny? Dumb shiny take your helmet off! (Ha!)

Well, I'm defiantly to the outer rim and looks like I'm headed further into where the action really is! Kind of exciting! We were... _bread,_ to be soldiers and that's what I want to do. Laying around aint exactly my idea of fulfilling a useful purpose. _(No pun intended; or yes, maybe pun intended!)_ Either way; I'm wondering how it is I'm ever going to "follow these orders", so to speak? I mean, it's not like I can pull up to the nearest battle cruiser and say: "Hi, here I am ready to sign on!" Yeah that would be a first class ticket to disaster! Experiments in clone breeding commence! No thanks!

Anyways; I've been reading more on Jedi history and I'm thinking I might want to try tapping into the force and see if I can reach someone. A little guidance is good for all of us! I got to be careful though; I don't want to get the wrong side! The presence of the dark Sith seems to be especially strong now. I keep getting this bad feeling! Something awful is about to happen. I'm just not sure what it is? So maybe I'll just keep my mind to myself! Besides, I don't think my abilities are really that potent._ (No pun intended there either! Ha, ha..)_

_**Day 5:**_ I SHOT DOWN MY FIRST TINNY TODAY! _**(Yeah for me!) **_Had a lone (probably lost) Separatist droid ship coming my way. I did a quick dash behind an asteroid and - Blam! Nailed 'em right up the tail pipe; or at least I _think_ that was the tail pipe? Anyways, I've officially been in combat now; well, at least kind of.

Thinking it's time to land her somewhere and survey my options. I mean it's not like I can just hang out here in space indefinitely! There is an inhabitable planet about 5 parsects away. Think I'm going to go check it out. At least I can regroup there and decide what to do next? I'm coming to the conclusion more and more though, that soldiering very well may not be an option for me; or at least not in the traditional manner seemingly stuck in my head? If I join this war "as a clone"; someone is defiantly going to discover that I wasn't ever suppose to be let out into the theater and send me back to Kamino. Maybe my best alternative is to land somewhere and survey the civilian populace until I think I can make a good fake on them; then join some planetary civilian resistance. No one may recognize me, as it's not that they would ever be expecting to see a clone chick! Or at least I hope not.

I've never seen one of the brothers up close before though, so I don't really know? How much do I actually look like a clone? The closest I've ever seen is Boba Fett. He used to sneak me candy and we'd hide out in one of the Kaminoan's offices after hours and play strategic games on their computers. Oh he used to get so mad when I'd kill him at bounty hunter! That was weird though. We met and started these games, both at about 5 years old and by the time he was 10; I was 15. That was almost three years ago now. He's 12 and I'm 20! How do ya like them birthday odds? Talk about "leap year"!

Well, speaking of little Boba; I've been considering now writing down what happened, how I actually got out of the cloning facility and off the planet. I'm not sure that's a good idea though? If I ever get caught; I may need some of that information again. I will say though, it was certainly getting close to time to leave. I was now considered "mature" and the cloners were getting all excited to start their experiment. Eeeww! I don't even know who the male counterpart was suppose to be. I mean the only one I ever saw was — NO! That's not just gross; that's wrong! I'm not even going to think about it!

_**Day 6: **_Well I landed under early morning fog cover and as far as I can tell; no-one's picked up my ship. I've got my own little "hanger" in the cleft of a mountain side here and I just happened to luck upon a grove of fruit trees who's crop is pretty tasty. I have absolutely no idea where the hell I am; seeing how there seemed to be a lot missing from my space map data banks! I wonder what idiot erased them all? (Ahem - I hope it wasn't me!)

Anyways; my ship's sensors have picked up com-links and I can get fuzzy transmissions of troop's communications. I don't have quite enough information yet though to plot locations. I do know there's an encampment of droids in the valley just on the other side of the mountains. I'm trying to pinpoint their power generator, so I can disable them all. Why waste munitions, when one strategic shot can put all the tinnies out of _my_ misery. Another few hours of surveillance should do me well!

_**Day 7: **_Little snafu in the battle plan here; wounded clone! (Not me though.) I did manage to pinpoint the generator; but an incoherent, stammering cry for help came loud and clear through my helmet com-link. I did manage to find the poor sap. He's now laying unconscious on the floor of my shuttle; while I'm packing up extra detonator charges. This generator is bigger than I first suspected. It'll be dark before too much longer and after carrying my injured comrade; I'm pooped. I've kept a close watch on these droids though and they haven't moved in the past 24 hours? Wonder what's up with that? They seem to be activated? So, I'll catch myself a few hours and leave at 2 AM. I figure it will take me about two hours to get to my target, 10 minutes to set the charges and five seconds to run like hell! Either way; I think I'll be OK.

_**2 AM:**_ _(technically day 8:) _Mission on hold again. Wounded clone warned me about hidden defenses. Time to regroup and think of plan B. He's out again though; so I'm not sure how reliable his information is? I didn't run into any defenses when I crossed their power grid; so, I don't know? Better safe than dead though!

Wounded clone hasn't put two and two together yet. He keeps calling me "brother" and tells me I look like a girl! I don't know if he's in denial, delirious or just plain dense? Either way, I guess he inadvertently answered some of the questions I've had. The resemblance between the two of us is uncanny and I'm not sure if that's good news or bad news?

Wounded clone appears to have a broken leg. Well I splinted it and drugged him up real good. Now he sounds quite happy. (He's laying on the floor staring at the port bulkhead giggling to himself. I'm almost afraid to ask what that's all about?) There's another difficulty I've encountered though, that I'm not quite sure how to handle. Yesterday, I took myself out to the nearest river; although it's quite obvious now that I'm not the only one who stank. _(Ah - one of us still does!)_ Wounded clone apparently needs a bath and unfortunately, I'm short of brothers to give him one. So, it looks like I'm about to get more intimately acquainted with this guy than I particularly care too. It was uncomfortable enough just dragging him to the refresher and quick closing the door before he fell out. _(Something about that doesn't sound quite right either.)_ Anyways, I guess I'll wait till he falls into oblivion again before I go about changing the air quality in here.

_**11 PM:**_ Well, wounded clone is clean; (and so are his underclothes, although they aint dry yet). It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. He stayed unconscious through the duration. _(Hey, that's what sedatives are for; my comfort as well as his - right?)_ And yes, my suspicions were confirmed; he _is_ anatomically very different than me! But, then again, I suspected that would be the case. Wait till he wakes up though and can't find his clothes! As selfish as this is to say; better his humiliation than mine!

_**Day 9:**_ Wounded clone has been awake most of the morning. He took only being wrapped in a sheet a lot better than I would have. He seems a little more "with it" than the previous two days; although he can't seem to get over the fact that I'm really not a guy! He's asked me all kinds of questions as to why I was created in the first place? I haven't told him though; not sure I really want him to know. Don't wanna give him any ideas. Either way, he seems rather nice. Told me they call him Salam; which is the name of some ancient city on some planet called Earth. He said quite a few of the men in his unit have ancient city names.

He explained that they learned about these cities (and the stories that contain them) from some other clone who'd accidentally managed to hyper-space himself half way across the universe! This clone's name was Shiloh and Salam said that Shiloh came from a different clone army than ours. _(A very different clone army - as he put it.) _All those clones have names, he told me; which was a lot more appealing to him than the designation number we all refer to ourselves as! Shiloh told him that we were all of a species called "human"; which originated on this mysterious planet "Earth". Interesting, I don't know? I've never heard of any of this before! From what I know, all us clones came from Mandalorian cultural roots. I know Mandalorian culture incorporates many peoples and species; but I'd never heard where humans actually came from!

Which has got me to thinking. Salam asked me if I had a name and I didn't know exactly what to say, because though I kinda do have one; I don't like it! I'd rather be called something else. I have to put that one on the back burner for a couple of days and really decide what name I should have. Starting a new life you know; might as well have a new identity! Kind of tough one though, because honestly; I don't even know who I am?

Odd, as I thought that Salam actually had a name and so did all the men in his unit. He's just a common clone, nothing special about him. I can tell from his armor. Albite what ever his unit is that have decorated themselves so very smartly; he says he holds no rank and nor do any of his comrades... really. "We are a very small group." He tells me.

They'd split off from a larger battalion almost 2 years ago now; when their commander and most of the squadron had been killed. They'd waited for three days for a transport, but no-one came back for them. I guess they've been on this goofy planet ever since? Anyways, he said that a Jedi, (who already had found several clones) discovered them about 3 months later. They'd banded with other "strays" who'd also been displaced by battle and now have organized into their own planetary fighting force. I guess he said there's about 60 of them now, who work this segment of planet they call Geofore. He concurred with me that this place is apparently at least under Separatist influence; if not total control. I've never heard of this planet before and to my knowledge, it's not on any of my star charts._ (That doesn't mean anything though! Ahem - eraser queen.) _

_**6 PM:**_ This afternoon passed without either of us ever really going outside of the shuttle. (Other then my momentary absence so he could get dressed.) Salam helped me reprogram my computer data banks, so they more accurately represent our current geography. He gave me the last known coordinates of everything and everyone he had. We discussed at length how to get to the tinny generator. He told me all the approaches they had previously tried and when I came up with a few more; he said he was quite impressed with my creativity. Where did I learn battle strategy like that anyways? He never remembered his education having such detail as I had laid out. Years of computer games with young-ling Boba Fett. I told him. I don't think he quite believed me though.

I asked him what he'd been trained in? He said he'd gotten quite a bit of field experience operating troop transport and such; but he had a preference in medical. He said the war has brought great losses of clones and some of the guys are even beginning to question the justice of their use in it? We're real men fighting machines and most of the Jedi honestly have no idea how to general an army. They were peace keepers not soldiers.

"So what of the Jedi commanding your unit?" I inquired, after pondering his statement about 'keeping the peace'.

"We have a young at heart Master who grew up in the jungles of Coruscant; as she calls it. She's quite good at urban combat because that's what she lived most of her teenage years. She joined the Jedi order later in life and made "most impressive strides in training"; as to Grand Master Yoda's opinion." Salam answered.

"All of us have great respect and care for her, not because her Jedi skills run her war plans, but because her devotion to us does. Our unit has some of the lowest casualty rates any of us have ever seen, because she's so careful. She laughs and says many others have criticized her for holding back too much; but most of us clones are still here because she's made it her first and foremost priority to keep us alive." He added. "Jedi aren't suppose to form attachments; but I don't think Alexandria really got that memo. She's quite attached to us; 'her clones'!" Salam chuckled as he launched into a story.

"Oh Alexandria got into it on one mission briefing with an Anakin Skywalker, who'd passed through this sector and was pleasantly surprised to find us on this planet. Well, after running into a patch of recently deployed tinny ships; he had one idea as how to defeat them and she said no, there were too many holes in it - it needed to be rethought. He got real mad when she turned to his second in command and asked Captain Rex: "What do you think we should do?" For what ever reason, he didn't answer though."

Salam said this surprised his Jedi Alexandria because of what she knew of the few times she'd met this Captain. He's pretty outspoken. "After Obi Wan attempted to broker an agreement between them, they still couldn't come up with a consensus; so they divided the mission and let each handle their segment as they saw fit." Salam explained. "And yet again, more of us came out alive than any of the other units."

"After the mission, Alexandria and Skywalker got into an argument in the hallway. That's one thing about Alexandria though; when she gets mad - her speech goes the way of Jar Jar Binks. Every one started laughing when she told Anakin his clones were getting wasted. Which was probably literally true and in more ways than one." Salam started to giggle. "We all knew what she meant, but it took her a minute to catch her own - Freudian slip; as someone once called it."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Oh sorry." Salam corrected himself. "You're still somewhat of a shinny aren't you?" He giggled.

"To "get wasted" means to be too oft be intoxicated on liqueur, and..." Salam paused. "Freudian slip is a mis-speak that's thought to reveal some 'dynamically repressed' or subconscious thought, desire, wish, conflict. Stuff like that. Like if I were under Sky-guy's command; I think I'd want to "get wasted" too!"

"Do they really get drunk all the time?" I inquired.

"Oh, I don't actually know; probably not." Salam sheepishly confessed. "We were only on board the Resolute for three days and I didn't see anything like that; but they defiantly got issues on that ship. Obi Wan's got his hands full for sure! Between Anakin and his Padawan, I don't know who in the Jedi counsel rolled the dice on those two but? Maybe Yoda knew what he was talking about when he told Qui Gon Jinn not to train this kid. Too bad they didn't listen to the old-timer." Salam let out a morose and frighteningly ominous chuckle. "I think that one will go down in the annals of Jedi history as the biggest blunder ever made! I suppose Obi is really regretting it now; or at least I hope so."

Hum? I thought for a moment as recollections of certain aspects of "obedience training" ran through my head. I thought all clones were always suppose to honor and respect their Jedi commanders? I guess things aren't as cut and dry as we've all been lead to believe? I pondered a moment before I sprung my next query on Salam.

"And the Padawan?" I questioned.

"Oh don't get me started on her!" Salam sighed and shook his head. "I think she's 16, or maybe 17? She's extremely skilled with a light saber and more competent in battle now; but she's still snippy, somewhat arrogant and in my opinion, rather bratty. I don't know what ship Sky-guy and Obi Wan are living on, but no one seems to notice - young chick doth lust after Captain Rex with great fervor!"

"What?" I cocked my head and looked at Salam for his long list of colorfully strung together utterances.

"She got the hots for the 501st's clone commanding officer. Ya know, she likes him, wants him, thinks she's madly in love - when it's just pubescent hormones! She seems to have convinced herself though that it's genuine, when it only seems to me that she just wants to know what it's like to have sex with a clone!" Salam made a funny face and started giggling. "Oh." Was my only comment as Salam took one look at me and laughed himself right off his chair.

Have things in this war really gotten that bad? I began to wonder as I turned back to my computer consol. I mean I'd heard 'rumors'; I guess you'd call them and one time took an 'unofficial_ glimpse'_ at a report sent to one of the Kaminoans about 'troop morale'. They'd returned a unit of clones who'd been caught _"engaging each other in lewd behavior"_. I wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but do suppose I'd guessed fairly accurately. (I cringe at just the memory.) Brief said that _"all that had happened destroyed unit cohesion." _

Hum? Is that what all this ... _"stuff" _really does? I wondered about Salam's description of this Padawan and her clone captain. I don't know? Maybe we've got this all wrong? Maybe all these _"goings on"_ aren't that weird after all? _(Or maybe we are just totally wrong about the "goings on" anyways?) _I guess we'll just have to see for ourselves; now won't we?

* * *

**Mission Debriefing:** _(Or rather just my stupid notes to myself!)_

So much has happened these past couple of days; my head is spinning. I can hardly believe I even made it off Kamino; not to say actually "found the war". _(Not that I'd heard the war was that hard to find; but anyways!) _I guess I can say I'm happy to be here; or maybe just happy to be some place other than "there". (If that makes much sense?) So many new and interesting things to see and do. It's so much more exciting than Kamino!

And these battle droids? Weird objects of fascination, I know. I'd read all the specs on them; _(amongst all the other "boring" ...excrement I've gone over now about a hundred or so times)_. I'd found a "dead" one in the dirt when I was out snooping around the generator. All the wires and circuits sticking out. It's burnt and crispy...brain chips, all scattered around the ground just outside it's titanium skull. It's twisted and broken limbs protruding from the scrubby bushes. It's little... _whatever's_ flashing at me? It's just a machine and it gave me the weebie jeebies. What's going to happen when I come across a dead organic? _(Cringing as my stomach does a flip flop.)_ Won't think about that right now! Just cross that bridge when I come to it.

But then there's Salam!_ (Cringing flip flop exchanged for happy grin.) _Yes, the rather kind-hearted, yet obviously opinionated clone trooper! _**Opinionated clone trooper?**_ Now doesn't that sound funny! We aren't suppose to be _opinionated_; now are we? (Chuckle chuckle, grin grin!) That's OK though. I kind 'a like him. Opinionated or not; we seem to work well together.

I'm glad things have turned out so well so far. I'm still alive - _**Yeah!**_

Think it's time for bed though; I'm tired!

So _(sigh);_ good night ...ehhh...(nameless) girl?


	2. Chapter 2 Project  Original Copy

"_**Project - Original Copy"**_

_**Day 10:**_ Our plans for taking out the tinnies seems to be coming along nicely. Salam says though that he wants to contact Alexandria, Nazareth, Jericho and Babylon. He knows we are going to need back up; as he can't walk and the job is too big for one person (me) to do alone. He seems quite confident that Alexandra is going to love me. He tells me I'm sharp, resourceful, creative, and kind. Also that he greatly admires my courage. For what ever reason I ran away from the cloning facility. You're very brave. He said.

On the other hand though; Salam is also equally confident that everybody _else_ is going to love me too. He admittedly feels a bit distressed by that. He knows he's the only "brother" I've actually ever met and that I do like him; but what if I find someone I like more? He doesn't want to feel sad about that; nor have his emotions be a contention amongst his fellow clones. He tells me he knows what he needs to do, but he doesn't like it. He says I need to find my own place in this world and it's not up to him to stand in my way.

I find Salam's sentiments odd, or maybe even sort of out of place for a clone; but comforting. I can't imagine where he'd come up with this such broad spectrum of well thought out feelings? All I've ever known from reading about "brothers" is that their environment and training has usually left them at least socially impaired; if not even emotionally retarded? When I told Salam this, he sort of looked at me and laughed.

"And what makes you think you know that?" He asked. "Not that I'm denying that it's true!" He said. "But how do you know?"

"I guess I don't really?" I admitted.

Other then what I've read and the fact that; (at least it seems to me) I was raised very differently than any other clone I know of. I guess the Kaminoans perceive that in order to be a good candidate to "breed" I have to be "sweet enough" to be attractive to someone? Why do they care anyways; is what I don't get? It's not like I have too good of an impression that they know much about us so called humans anyways! After all, they don't really seem to have any ethics! But then again; what do I really know of ethics? Other then some gut reaction as to what _**I**_ think is right or wrong? And why do I even think that? I don't know?

_**Day 11: **_After much consideration and analysis of what it would take to set up a com-link to someone in Salam's unit; we decided the risk of getting detected is too high. I'd told Salam that I'd seen some other unit near the generator when I'd went up there to set the charges five days ago. I wasn't familiar with it and since thus, it has kept popping up in my mind as some sort of danger? I think maybe something is trying to warn me to pay attention to it; it's important! At first, Salam didn't think it was anything; but I eventually did find something in his data bank that matched it's physical description. It's a communications relay booster. It grabs low level com-signals, so a ship in space can pinpoint people's positions. If we power up to send a message; we'll have tinnies on our doorstep in minutes.

After more deliberation; (as to how, or even _**if**_ we could effectively scramble the signal) we decided the best thing to do is just stay under raps and "go out dead". Salam was surprised that the relay booster hadn't picked me up when I was inside the generator's shield? I told him that it's because I usually "go out dead". The duel directional multi-media presentation that often takes place in my helmet is too distracting; so I shut it off. I was "out dead" while snooping around the generator. So I suppose force of habit saved my skin that day? (Not that I had anyone really to talk to anyways!) I never would have found Salam if I hadn't arbitrarily decided to turn my helmet on for a few minutes upon the return trip.

So we decided that I would personally go relay the message to Alexandria. This was the only way to make contact and share information so we could take this generator out before the tinnies powered up and forged an attack. I'm to set out later tonight under cover of darkness with nothing but a pair of old fashioned night vision goggles, a small LCD finger light and a paper map. What's this war coming too?

_**Afternoon:**_ Well, I'm supposed to be getting some rest; but I'm too nervous to sleep right now. Salam said that he knows that feeling all to well. He always gets scared before a mission. Sometimes it's bad enough, that he "commences vomiting"; as he calls it. He tells me though that he thinks I'm going to do well. I have some good sense about me. What I have to do now though; he says, is tell myself that for this moment, I'm as safe right here as I'm ever going to be. Clear my mind and let myself fall asleep!

"Come here." He encouraged as he waved me over to sit on several matts he'd just rearranged on the floor.

"What?" I looked curiously at him.

"It's going to be a long night for both of us." He said. "If we rest together. We might feel better when we get up." He smiled lightheartedly as he held his arms out and wiggled his fingers for me to come to him. Did I really want to do this or not? I stood pondering a moment when Salam's outstretched hands dropped again to his sides. "It's OK, you don't have to if you don't want to." He encouraged. I shifted from one foot to the other, a bit caught in my own indecision. He's been very kind and trustworthy so far; and he looks innocent enough. So, maybe? I whimpered shyly as I flittered my fingers in knots.

"I mean no disrespect really." Salam apologized sympathetically. "It's just not good for man to be alone; we need each other." He looked longingly at me. "No man was ever meant to be an island; truly, we weren't." He smiled sadly.

"Well I guess that is true." I mumbled as I finally stumbled over, still not too sure of this idea. At least we can be friends and even soldiers need comfort every so often; right? My thoughts fumbled over each other, just as my feet were doing. So, I plopped down on the floor next to Salam who was busy arranging his space for a comfortable snooze. He turned and looked at me a moment.

"What's the matter? Why you crying?" I inquired as he quickly wiped the tear from his eye.

"Because I'm sappy Salam." He started to giggle with a hint of embarrassment as he wiped his face again. "How did I ever be lucky enough to be the one to find you?" He mumbled in tearful disbelief as he peered over at me. "I get lost, fall down a canyon, break my leg and how is it you just happened to land here?" He sighed as he shook his head. "Just one clone, tired of being alone and here you come? Don't ever take that blessing for granted Salam." He scolded himself as he laid down and held his arms out to me. When I laid down in front of him; he grabbed hold of the armholes in my armor vest and pulled me toward him. He let out one last sigh and wiped his face again.

"There now; if any tinnies come to get us, we won't die alone." He cracked a morbid joke, as he put his arms around me and closed his eyes. A peaceable smile washed across his face.

I laid there watching him for about 10 to 15 minutes fall further and further asleep. I guess it really was going to be OK. I sighed as I threw my left arm over him and thought about how humorously cumbersome it is to try and cuddle up to someone when you're both fully armored. Maybe this is what the cloners had in mind all along? My thoughts started to drift, as I watched his forlorn face slip into dreamland. Let me get away, strand myself on some anonymous planet with some other anonymous clone and leave us to figure out the details ourselves? After all, he is rather sweet! I started to giggle and breathed a sigh of relief; for suddenly I felt a little safer.

_**Day 12:**__** (or at least soon to be)**_ Salam had to poke and prod me several times before my eyes opened and I suddenly realized my dreams of a gourmet fair; weren't really dreams after all. Salam said it was about 10:30 and he'd managed to fumble around the shuttle in order to prepare us something to eat for dinner. What ever he had done; it smelled good. I sat up and looked around. Apparently he had been busy. There were some things packed for me, as well as the computer loading my helmet with scans and satellite information.

"Don't turn this on until you are well out of droid surveillance." He warned before handing me his helmet.

"What?" I questioned as he began disassembling and removing his own armor.

"We are going to trade." He said. "Since I'm painted and your not; the guys will easily recognize you as one of them. Well, that is until you take the helmet off." He smiled as he began filtering armor pieces my way. "Then they'll all be pleasantly surprised." He chuckled. "We've had issues with Separatist insurgents coming dressed in clone armor and they don't usually bear markings any of us recognize. So, since you're a shinny; they'd be awfully suspicious ."Salam explained.

"Oh!" I said. "Where'd you get that ...armor swap...uhh..idea from?" I nervously inquired as I began breaking down my own and filtering it back his way. "How you going to make the helmet monitor say what it should?" I mumbled as the question of if he'd figured out how I'd reprogrammed my own helmet not to transmit the actual number of the clone who was inside of it; who else knew?

"Yeah." He confirmed. "I caught your identification masking trick there. Very clever!"

"Well, I'm guessing it was kind of a mis-flip on the part of the Kaminoans." I explained with a bit of a sigh of relief. "The common CT number designation got confused with my actual designation. Apparently the helmet monitor can't read CFm - clone female; I guess there's no designation for that." I shrugged. "So, when the monitor can't read the designation; it flips to a default setting. So I got CT- 01-0001. Obviously the helmet monitor thinks I'm the first clone trooper ever rolled off the assembly line!" I chuckled. "That still seemed a little too noticeable to me; so I tampered with the number until it defaulted again into some funny algorithm and designated me as CT - 00 -1003. There probably is a one thousandth and third clone trooper out there somewhere; but not a negative one and with no batch number besides!" We both started to laugh.

"I guess that goes to prove my suspicions." Salam smiled. "You're one in a million. A truly unique clone."

My mind wandered between the present situation and my sore fear of being discovered as Salam went on to explain how he'd downloaded all the information into my helmet. His reasoning being that he could use it if he needed. He said that once I'd crossed the defenses, his unit had a way of interpreting all the data we'd collected and that they'd be happy to know he wasn't dead!

Yeah, I'm glad you're not dead too. I smiled as these nagging fears crept back into my brain, only to be chased away again in this relentless game of 'I think I got ya'. No time for that now though. Gotta stay with the program. I determined to myself as I began to run over the mental notes of the mission one more time. Salam smiled in return. "You'll be OK." He nodded.

So, we rehearsed maps, sights, technical data and what to do if I got in trouble; all while finishing up the last drops of supper. Nervousness and multitasking don't combine into my top talent. I grumbled in aggravation as I quickly swiped up the dribbles and spills, while Salam just flashed a sympathetic smile.

"I want to see you back here alive and in one piece." He quietly whispered as he leaned over and put his arms around me. "I think you're very capable of this. Be careful and go in God's grace!" He said. I sat back and looked at him a moment.

"You mean your not going to wish the force be with me?" I grinned mischievously.

"God is much greater than the force." He told me as he took my face in his hands, leaned his forehead against mine and looked me in the eye. "And God has no dark side!" Salam winked before he kissed the side of my face. "I love you." He suddenly confessed. "Put your life in God's hands and even if you never come back to me; your life will be safe because He is the one who holds it!"

I looked at him. That's kind of odd for a clone. The thought suddenly popped back into my head. No-one's ever talked to me about any God; where'd he get the idea? I wondered.

He enfolded his arms around me, petting my hair and patting my face in a way that was rather reminiscent of one of the Kaminoans I'd seen carrying an infant through the facility. My mind began to wander a bit; as, at the time, I'd recollected it as odd, when I'd first seen this researcher and her child. I listened a moment to Salam as he talked about a variety of miscellaneous details related to this mission; before my thoughts meandered back to this Kaminoan baby.

"Hum." I murmured a bit as I sat up and looked at Salam; (who was on a totally different train of thought than I)! He smiled contentedly, as he told me again how he thought I'd do well and that he was praying God would protect me. God? Ehh, there he goes talking about God again? My mind drifted back to the present as I stared at him a bit bewildered. Where'd you learn about Devine being(s)? I wondered. I'd only heard about the concept after spending hours poking through data bases the cloners told me I had no business looking at! Well that's you're opinion you damned messengers of death. I always thought; although of course I never told them that.

No, I learned when I was very young that it's best to keep my thoughts to myself and just do what I wanted when no-one was looking. That way I could play the part of the good obedient clone and still get the information I needed; _(with as __**little **__interference as possible)_! I learned the first time around that I really didn't want to go through their reprogramming. So I mastered lying real well; I suppose. I always felt bad about that, but on the other hand, it was quite difficult to keep my wits about me without having all this seriously affect my psyche. I can understand real well that clone madness thing I'd read so much about. Either way, I think I escaped the facility with most of my mind in tact? Or at least I hope so!

With one last hug and a well wisher's kiss on the forehead; Salam helped me gear up for my journey. I knew it would take a few days, but I felt ready and quite capable of keeping low and sneaking through. It helped to know that someone else had confidence in me as well. Besides that though, I was looking forward to meeting this Jedi Alexandria and the other men in Salam's unit.

* * *

**Another Debriefing Note:** _(Time to gear up and wind down!)_

Well, I'm off and out of here in a bit. So much has happened; it's crazy. I think I can do this though! Just fall back on my training._ (All the training I'd managed to train __**myself **__with that is.)_ That and Boba Fett's computer simulations. I can't imagine where I'd be without them? Oh for the usefulness of the things I was never meant to learn! Aint life ironic?

And Salam; dear Salam. I feel so odd? He seems to be such a kind and gentle... soul. (Soul? Yes, soul! A clone with a soul. Was that meant to be; or another "experiment" gone amiss?) Either way, it doesn't matter to me. I feel happy when I'm around him. I'm not even sure why? Of all that the cloners tried to drill into me - Salam is so different and out side of the box. He's not at all what I was expecting; but then again, I can't say I had any clue as to what _**to**_ expect.

It had always been impressed so furiously upon all of us, that we were to defer our entire existence to ones deemed "more worthy". Then to come all the way out here and find one common clone who doesn't hesitate at all to think for himself? How many other "original copies" are there floating around out here? Certainly not what I expected!

Then uh... God?_ (Never expected that either!) _I don't know? Is there one... or rather _**One**_ out here somewhere? I guess at this point, I don't doubt the possibility; but I can't say I know either? Salam seems throughly convinced as to the existence of God. I'm not exactly sure how (or even why) he's come to that conclusion; but I find it intriguing. A clone and his Creator; _(and one he can't even see)_? What a concept? I'm not even sure what _**to**_ think of that?

Now as to things entirely impressing upon my mind; this mission! Seems easy enough yeah; but how am I going to do? I'm so scared out of my whits! _(Are clone troopers suppose to be this afraid?)_ This isn't even that hard; but most of the time I feel entirely sick to my stomach. Funny, I don't remember feeling this way when I got off Kamino. Matter of fact, I don't remember feeling _anything_ when I got off Kamino? It all went by so fast. I remember the explosion and a lot of people running and screaming. Or at least I think I remember that? Sometimes I wonder if it really happened? Then I pinch myself as I stand here looking around this ship. No, I guess it wasn't a dream!

So ehh... here we go... _**girl**_. Time to move out.


	3. Chapter 3 The Truth Shall Set Us Free

"_**The Truth Shall Set Us Free!"**_

_**Day 16:**_ Well, I'm back and I'd never thought I could be so happy to see someone in my life. I picked up the pace and traveled all through the evening, until I came into the shuttle early this morning. Salam was still asleep and I just couldn't leave him that way; so I woke him to tell of all my adventures.

"Salam, it's me; I'm back!" I said as he sat up and shook his head.

"Huh?" He looked at me. "How'd you get back so soon? I wasn't expecting you for two more days. Did you get through the droid defense line? Did everything go OK?"

"Yes." I told him. "Your directions were superb. After being on that ship for two days though; I really missed you!" I said as I threw my arms around him and jubilantly kissed his giggling face. I don't know what had gotten into me? I think it was just the stress of the past 15 days? I'd never known myself to be prone to such feelings, but I was just so happy to be back near Salam again. I don't know what _that_ was about and on one hand I felt rather silly, but on another, it just seemed "right" to feel that way? What clone ever really pondered what it meant to be loved? That concept just seemed so odd to me; yet here I was, craving that very thing. What ever it really meant, I wanted it. I wanted to feel connected, important and like I was contributing something to someone else's life. Something real and tangible, not just how to blow up droids. Yeah, maybe this war was important; but it just seemed to me there should be more to life!

"Oh, well I guess you did miss me." Salam chuckled as he straitened me up and asked what happened. I told him that the defense line wasn't as strong at "Check Point Charlie" as we had originally supposed it to be. I'd relayed all that information to a hand written map and when I finally broke the line, I happily shared my juicy facts with Alexandria, Obi Wan and a whole bunch of other people. They were quite impressed with the detail we'd gathered. Very good job, it was extremely helpful.

They were working on another connection to a ship they believed was orbiting three planets away. They weren't sure why it hadn't fired on the Resolute; (which was in orbit too) but they knew something was up. Our information helped them put the pieces together. They have a plan in the works, but it's going to take some time before they can come and get us. They are trying to trigger a cascade effect system's crash in the relays to shut down all the droids at once. There's a factory on the other side of the planet; but since it's wired into the planet's power supply, blowing it up would take down the whole grid. That would be bad!

After finishing briefing Salam on all of what our duties would be until they took out the relays and we could fly out of here; he asked me what was wrong? "Oh, nothing really." I told him as I crept a little closer, snuggled up to him, put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. "Well OK." He chuckled; "But you're suddenly awfully affectionate." He commented as he put his arms around me and gently patted my back.

"Did something happen on the ship?" Salam questioned.

"Not really." I hesitantly confessed. "Yeah, a lot of people stared and the way some of them watched me made me really uncomfortable." I let out a sigh. "I know I shouldn't be so overly sensitive to that and I'm trying not to be." I sat up and just shook my head in my own irritation. "But it still... _**bugs**_ me." I growled.

"Well, you are a very unique clone." Salam chuckled.

"Yeah, but why can't people look at me with more interest in what's between my ears than what's under my armor?" I inquired of Salam, as if I actually thought he had the answer to _that_ one. I let out a frustrated sigh. "I mean I wasn't the only female on that ship!" I grumbled.

"No you weren't, but you were the only female clone! You are one of us, but you're a girl. You are the only one of your kind any of us have ever seen. This may sound kind of strange and I hope you don't misunderstand me, but that means a lot to us." Salam said.

"A lot of what? Something to pass around for entertainment?" I mumbled as I squirmed away from him.

"Well, for a lot of the guys; probably!" He answered. "I'm not denying that; but for some of us you know, you represent hope. Hope that maybe there's actually someone out there for me? Someone who's going to love me and understand me, because they/ she/ you are a part of me. You see, there's very little in the way of access for any of us and far less in the realm of experience. We don't know what relationships really are. Yeah, guys in these battalions do a lot of talking, but that's all it is. Basically we're an army of clueless virgins." Salam shrugged with an mortified chuckle.

"Yeah, I know." I finally mumbled a hesitant acknowledgment. I understand a little better than I wish I did. The thought suddenly stabbed me, as I just sat and sympathetically peered at Salam a bit longer.

"And that's what makes it so hard." Salam continued with a sigh. "From the first time I saw you and realized what you actually were; I thought you were the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen." He shyly squirmed. "If there's any one of us you decided you really wanted; you could have us. The rest of us though, don't have that choice! At least not withstanding trying to take something that doesn't belong to us in the first place."

"I'd kill you first!" I said coldly as a flash of rage suddenly shoved me into high alert.

"And that's good!" Salam quickly responded with equal fervor. "Fittingly you should. No-one has the right to force any of us to do something we intuitively know to be wrong!"

"But we're clones. We follow orders!" I rebutted. "You know, if we don't grow up loyal to the Republic; we don't grow up at all!" I growled angrily.

"Loyal to who's Republic though?" Salam's tone suddenly softened with that question. "It really should be no secret to anyone that the evil Sith are taking over. The presence of the dark side has been very strong these past couple of months..."

"You feel it too!" I suddenly interrupted, a bit shocked by what I was hearing.

"Feel what? That something is about to go very wrong? Yes!" Salam answered straitly. "That's why we have to think for ourselves. Follow our gut instinct; what we know to be right and resist what is evil. You may have been trained and "programed" a certain way; but I don't buy that excuse, because I'm a clone too! We are all accountable for our actions!"

"Shiloh said that to Nineveh!" I cut in again.

"Yeah, Shiloh has said that to a lot of us." Salam concurred with a chuckle. "Like I told you earlier; his army in many ways, was very different than ours. They were actually taught morals and ethics." He lent a bit of an explanation. "Regardless though; inside of us, we all still know the difference between right and wrong." Salam pointed out. "You know that as well as I do! I know you know that, simply because of your reaction when I said it wasn't right for us to try and take something that didn't belong to us." Salam looked at me. "If you really had no sense of right or wrong; what anybody did to you would be irrelevant!" He concluded.

Yeah, if I'm the one who ultimately decides what's "right"; than I'm totally justified in imposing my will on you, simply because that's what _**I **_want. Where have I heard _that _one before! I fought hard to push those thoughts away, as we both sat for what seemed like an eternity. Yes, an eternity stuck on Kamino. I grumbled to myself when another revelation suddenly struck me and I flashed Salam one of those puzzled looks.

"But..but you haven't!" I rather curiously confirmed in nearly a whisper.

"Well no, I won't." Salam answered with a sigh of relief. "Because you belong to God, not me!"

I sat and looked at Salam for a real long time. I knew he was right, although I couldn't figure out how I knew; or even how he was right! I just knew he was. How sickeningly despondent I felt in that instance as the revelation of how the will of someone else being imposed upon us our entire lives, suddenly hit me. And what's wrong with us that we never rebelled against that? I let out a deep sigh as I peered at the floor between us.

"Yeah." I finally mumbled. "Who's Republic? Who's Republic are you loyal too?" I suddenly demanded in a voice that didn't even seem like my own.

"The Republic of the God who commands me to love what is good and despise what is evil." Salam suddenly countered a response I never expected to hear. "And if that's not the answer that you can see, understand and support as truth." He paused a minute. "Wether you agree with it or not!" Salam added as he very calmly leaned over; pulled his pistol out of it's holster and held it out to me. "Then go ahead and shoot me." He said with very serious conviction; yet in a peaceful tone. "I'd rather die for the sake of Divine Goodness, than live in your evil empire."

Salam sat there for several long minutes before he laid the pistol on the floor between us; got up and limped away. I remained motionless as I stared at the weapon set on the deck before me. According to my "programing" I was suppose to shoot him; but in that moment, I realized that it wasn't that I couldn't do it - it was that I had decisively chosen not to. I leaned over and picked up the weapon. Salam slowly turned around when he'd heard this. I looked at him a minute before I stood up, walked over and handed the pistol back to him.

"Would you kill me for your God?" I asked.

"No." He quietly answered. "One day, you will die anyways. When and where that happens is up to Him to determine; not me." He said as he took the pistol and shoved it back into the holster that was hanging off the belt I was still wearing.

We stood there for several more long minutes watching each other. Salam's face was calm and serene. He didn't look angry, frightened, disgusted or sad. I couldn't really figure out what I was looking at, because he didn't seem to me to be even emotionless. Something was there; I just couldn't identify it.

"You're really not a clone; are you?" I suddenly blurted out an inquiry I knew was ridiculous.

"I'm no less of a clone than you." Salam chuckled.

"But we're not what they think we are." I replied.

"No, we're not." Salam agreed. "So, God created man in His own image; in the image of God created He him; male and female, created He them."

I stood and looked at Salam a minute.

"Cloned in the image of God?" I cocked my head and made a funny face.

"Yes." He nodded with a chuckle. "Cloned in the image of God!"

I stood there for a long time while Salam hobbled over to his corner of sleeping mats and plopped down. I glanced around the ship and momentarily back at him as he sat holding his injured leg. He looked like he was concentrating real hard on something, when it suddenly occurred to me what he might be doing? I walked up to him, knelt down and put my hands on his. Sure enough I could feel it. It was unmistakable. It was there. I closed my eyes and focused on helping him. A few moments later he stopped.

"Do you feel better?" I asked.

"Yeah, I do." He answered.

"We're not suppose to be able to do that." I said.

"Yeah, we're clones remember." He laughed.

"How long have you known?" I asked as I sat down on the matt in front of Salam and gazed at him for a few minutes.

"A while." He said.

"How many are there in your unit?" I posed another question.

"A few." He answered. "Besides Alexandria; Shiloh is the strongest." Salam said. "Which rather surprised us, seeing how the force isn't even active where he comes from; or at least it isn't in the same capacity it is here." Salam looked at me. "Shiloh thinks we live in another dimension; kind of like a parallel universe to the one he's from? He says he thinks this area of space - maybe; holds in evidence powers or forces that are unseen in his dimension of God's creation? He doesn't know though; he's only guessing. He says God gives many gifts and apparently some of us have a certain aptitude to be able to use powers unseen to manipulate this physical world. In times past, certain people on Earth had some of these abilities. He said God opened that realm to them for a specific reason; as a witness to who God was."

"But what about the dark side?" I inquired.

"Shiloh said that was active too back then. The only difference was the "dark side" performed false signs and wonders - as he put it." Salam explained.

"False as in they weren't really happening?" I looked at Salam.

"No, they were really happening." Salam said. "False though in that they seemed stronger than God, but they weren't." Salam continued. "Their falsehood was noted in their evil; their lack of what's right and good and just. The dark side is bent on destruction and that's all it knows. People use that darkness because they think it makes them powerful; but it doesn't. It destroys them." Salam suddenly looked sad.

"That's why we should never give in to it." Salam earnestly implored of me. "No matter what it tries to manipulate us into doing. We have to make a conscious choice to do the opposite. We have to pray to God to change our hearts, so His light will always be in us. Darkness and light can't reside together because the darkness hates the light and won't be submissive to it."

"Darkness hates light and won't be submissive to it." I mumbled to myself as I sat and thought about that a good long while. "So if the Republic falls to the dark side, then we aren't obligated any longer to obey." I looked up at Salam with quite an astonishment of the revelation that had just hit me. "Genetically pre-dispositioned, ordered, conditioned or what ever; all we are ever required to do is what is right." I stared intently at Salam.

"Correct." He said with truthful conviction.

"Ooh!" I exclaimed in a sigh of relief, as the weight of what ever dreaded ominous event seemed to be just looming upon the horizon suddenly lifted. I knew I couldn't stop what ever it was from happening; but I didn't have to be part of it's wickedness! I threw my arms around Salam and jubilantly kissed him.

"And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." He smiled as he hugged me in return.

"Salam?" I said.

"What?" He inquired.

"I'm tired." I replied.

"Well then, lay down and rest." He suggested. "You've been liberated from the evil that's lurking at the door of this army." He leaned over and kissed me. "Sleep well!" He smiled as he let me go and I tumbled into unconsciousness.

* * *

_**Monday Morning Meeting of the Mind: **__(Is it really Monday? Sure feels like it!)_

Well, it's very early; _(very very early)_ and I can see the mist laying low in the valley as the bright moon shines upon this thick blanket of clouds. It's rather interesting combined with the reddish soil. Gives the entire landscape an orange tint. The things I'd only seen in pictures back on Kamino. Brings tears to my eyes; along with sappy Salam laying there sleeping so peacefully. (smile, giggle, cry)

"You've been liberated from the evil that's lurking at the door of this army." Salam's words keep ringing in my ears. And what evil is this really? I wonder as I can't seem to shake this bad feeling. I'm only obligated to obey a law that's right and good. How strange that sounds to my ears. I'm relieved; but at the same time I can't breath either. How does one person stand against a pervasive darkness? Salam prays a lot; of which is probably a good idea. Even though I wonder if God even hears me? I feel like I'm drowning.

So much has happened; I'm not even sure what to say? Am I still happy or sad? Maybe at this point it's more numb than anything else? I want to believe so badly that everything will be OK; but I just don't feel like it will be? Am I ever going to escape this indictment? The case of simply being a clone?

_Well, you're here right now and not there; so just "be here". _

Yes, OK. Easier said than done though! (I hate it when my mind does this!) Alright, just clear out all the clutter and start with something simple. I am here right now. No-one has found me and for the moment I'm safe.

_O.K. Start over. (Sigh.)_

There is so much to write about. My trip to Salam's unit and beyond was exhilarating, fretful, trepid, pensive, enlightening!? _(What other terms can I invent?)_ So much to see and do. I feel like I've been thrown out of a hatch onto some alien planet. (I have been thrown out of some hatch onto an alien planet. Eh... silly girl.)

Besides all that though. I think I like it here. I've had times of peace and witnessed sights of elegant beauty. Combat simulators on Kamino just can't hold a candle in comparison to real life events on a tangible world. There's so much more color and flavor out here. A reality, not only to see and hear; but to touch and feel. For the first time in my existence, I think I'm actually alive. It's a weird feeling. How can one be alive and not really living? I don't know? Maybe it's just me? I wonder if "natural borns" ever have episodes like this; or is this just a byproduct of being a clone? (hih hih) I guess it doesn't really matter. Salam is starting to awaken and the siege of the day is about to commence so... time to carry on soldier!


	4. Chapter 4 Hello Dolly?

"_**Hello Dolly"**_

_**Day 17:**_ We've spent most of today checking coordinates and just talking about "stuff". I told Salam what happened when I crossed the tinny defenses and stumbled across two of the men from his unit. When they saw me coming, they thought I was him; that is until I started talking through the com-link. They knew something was up, since Salam never sounded like _that _before. I'd told them what had happened and how we'd exchanged armor, so the guys in his unit would recognize me. They were quite pleased to know he was OK and quite surprised when I was finally close enough to take the helmet off.

Unfortunately for me; Salam's head gear is not accustom to a wearer with hair clips. When I took it off, it decided it really liked my barrette and wanted to keep it. Consequently, as soon as I managed to remove the stupid helmet; all this half contained hair came falling down my face and shoulders. All I could think of was: Oh flick! I've been meaning to give myself a hair cut; but just never got to it! One of the two men standing before me looked a bit shocked, while the other was totally delighted. The enchanted brother seemingly couldn't control his impulse to tangle his fingers in my hair; while the other just kind of poked him. "I wouldn't do that; she doesn't look too happy." He said.

The first was another Jango clone like myself and the other; I later learned, was the renowned Shiloh. I'd rather figured that when I saw them; seeing how Shiloh had on different armor than the rest of us, even though he was color marked in similar fashion. I also discovered later why Shiloh had quite a much more agamic reaction to me than all the rest. He'd actually been castrated. (Well that explained a lot; but like Salam said. Shiloh came from a very different army than ours.)

After spending that evening with Salam's unit; I'd come to like Shiloh. I don't think it was so much as I found _**him **_as alluring as his disinterest in my femaleness. Even so though; Shiloh certainly wasn't ugly either. He was a little shorter than the rest of us, with dark curly hair and a round face. Still, it was rather difficult for me to actually envision an army of Shilohs. He himself was 40ish years old and with his lightly creamed café completion and soft ringlet hair; I found him to be rather attractive. So, I suppose the shoe being on my foot now; it's probably a good thing Shiloh has no sex drive.

Any ways; several of us sat around the fire watching the sunset and talking about how we'd ended up where we were and what it was that had so cemented them together. Of the 15 or so gathered; _(and mesmerized by these dancing flickers of crackling flame)_ much of their conversation revolved around this belief in God they all shared. They talked something about a Redeemer, sin and salvation, heaven and hell; a whole bunch of words that I really wasn't sure what the concepts meant to them - or even what they meant to me. I'd asked everyone a whole bunch of questions and although they were very patient and all to happy to expound upon this to me; I still don't think I totally "got it".

One thing did catch my attention though. A group of _clones_ talking about a _Creator_? Not just recollections of life in an incubation chamber and comparisons of how well, (or poorly) we were treated by the Kaminoans; but speak of a life that had meaning? A purpose that transcended the use someone else intended? What do I think of that?

_Hum?_

Maybe I do really "get it" when Salam talks about being "real men". Yeah, I am a clone, but am I _just _a clone? Maybe I really am... _more_ than_ just _a clone? Which brings me to the next question; a name?

_Hum? _

What do I think I should be called?

_A soulless, mindless being has no name. Empty shells, a product of borrowed DNA deserve no more than designation numbers. _

_**Right?... **_I mused over the ever changing stream of conversation topics.

"But that's ridiculous!" One of my campfire companion's goading of such absurd line of thought continued to peck at my conscious. "Even cloned animals were given names." He sneered idiotically; to which his comrades broke into the choruses of some bizarre song I'd never heard before.

"Hello _**Dolly.**_ Oh Hello _**DOLLY!**_ It's so nice to have you back where you belong." They started to sing and then snicker at each other.

"You're startin' ta swell Dolly; oh can't they tell Dolly. You're still growin. Think they knowin; ya been in there too long!" Another replied as the next round of good natured jeers began.

Inside joke? I guess.

Speaking of clones though; I did notice another thing while sitting around the fire with all these fellows. We really do all look the same.

_Uhhh Duh! Smart observation ...by creatures breed in some laboratory._

Yes, General...Krell. I _do_ remember you! My mind flashed back to one training session Boba had smuggled me through a ventilation shaft to witness.

"I know they are too far away to see their faces." Boba whispered as he gestured toward the training cadets and then jabbed his finger at Krell and cut across his neck. He paused a moment before poking the pointing digit at me."The only face a clone can trust, is the one in the mirror." Boba reiterated as his suddenly twisted into a vestige of painful loathing, before he quietly turned and crawled away. "Never forget that!" He mouthed before disappearing down an alternate shaft.

_From this point forward we are entering uncharted territory. _I sat in our secret place reading, as the script recorded off some defiant captain's helmet com rolled across the computer screen.

_I used to believe that bein a good soldier meant doin everything they told ya. That's how they engineered us. But we're not droids. We're not programed. You have to learn to make your own decisions._

I switched back to the face page of this forbidden document. _**Clones capable of breaking compliance**__. _The urgent title read. _**Immediate necessity to gauge flash training required!**_

My mind drifted back to the present as my eyes wandered around the faces before me. Do you know? I wondered. Do _**I **_know? I wondered even more. It really is no secrete that many look at us as "clone army" and fail to see individuals; but how do we ourselves overcome that mentality? Yeah, I'm not just a clone; I'm more - but... what more?

_**Creatures breed in some laboratory...**_

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! My mind began to scream.

Why'd you make this so hard? I suddenly sucked back a sniffle as I looked directly at the clone across from me. The question of "Who am I?" is so much harder to define when you share physical and basic personality traits with millions of other individuals. How do I be "different" in an army of one? Forget the psychological impact of millions of guys, who look the same, upon the enemy; what about us all who share the face?

My thoughts broke for a run in another direction as I watched yet one more clone wiggle in among his brothers, while someone else took his place at watch. Blasters rattling and comparing notes on creatively customized weaponry they were. I observed them admiring their machines of destruction. Intelligent life engineered solely to fight a war? I thought to myself as the others became preoccupied with more obscure verses to "Hello Dolly".

_Disposable beings._

The echoes of a voice from the not so distant past crept back to haunt me. Is it that the Republic is too lazy to fight their own battles? The questions swirled in my head. Or is it something more insidious? Are the lives of the citizenry too precious to lay down for the sake of their own causes?

_I could still see the Kaminoans sitting there staring at me. _

I mean that's how wars have been fought in the past. You protect yourselves from an aggressor by raising an army made up of your own people. We fight this war because our freedom / way of life (or that of some ally) is threatened and we deem the cause worthy enough to die for.

_What I'm proposing is highly treasonous. If any man chooses to opt out - do it now._

It's easy to sacrifice a bunch of droids and clones for a principle; but really, why should I care if this Republic stays intact or doesn't? If the Sepies want to sep themselves, then let 'em! As long as they don't interfere with my way of life.

ERRRR! I got up to go find the refresher.

I spent most of the rest of that night talking to Shiloh while nearly everyone else slept. Well, at least those who weren't posted on watch slept. Even though I was so exhausted; I was too nervous to fall asleep. I finally did lay down while Shiloh spent some time making rounds to see how the guys on watch were doing. I lay there though thinking about Salam and how I'd wished he was around, so I'd have someone to snuggle up to. Strange as it seemed to me, I'd spent my entire life sequestered and confined with virtually no physical contact and now all I wanted to do is cuddle. I felt like I was losing my mind. Although when I heard Shiloh explain how the men in his army commonly slept right next to and often on top of each other; I didn't feel so weird. I'd told him what Salam and I had done the night I'd left and how I really missed him. Shiloh just looked at me and grinned with quiet and contagious laughter.

"He's been praying for you to come along now for some time." Shiloh said. "I'm glad he's finally gotten what he's asked for."

"What do you mean?" I looked at Shiloh.

"Salam's been wanting and needing someone to love for almost a year. He's very much like you. He craves physical closeness." Shiloh smiled. "He used to come over and cuddle up to me for periodic brief occasions in the middle of the night. He never wanted any of the other guys to know, because he didn't want them to think there was something wrong with him. I think Salam's personality and psyche are a little more developed than some of his fellow clones." Shiloh smiled.

"Salam often cried himself to sleep at night. I approached him about it when I saw he was on the verge of emotionally cracking." Shiloh sighed. "The army I was in, dealt very readily with depression and we were never encouraged to constantly suppress our feelings. There is a time for that; but that time isn't always! We were stimulated to be much more rounded than you are and because we'd all been rendered basically asexual; our displays of affection never came with the complications this army experiences."

"Complications?" I looked at Shiloh.

"Yeah." Shiloh nodded. "There are an awful lot of your basic emotional and psychological needs the Kaminoans never addressed. They just opted to pretend they weren't there. Even the whole basic reproductive drive issue, apparently never even got looked at. The only outlet most of your brothers have for that is each other." Shiloh looked at me and cringed. "And I don't know? Are they trying to solve that problem by engineering you?"

I peered at him and let out a disgusted sigh.

"They wanted perfection so badly that they created a mess!" Shiloh shook his head. "All these things they overlooked are major contributing factors as to why the casualty rates in this army are so high. Many of these guys just run into harm's way to get killed, because it's the only way to stop the emotional pain they are forbidden to express. Most of them don't see their lives as having any real value. The problem is, that if they don't see they have any worth; no-one else's does either! Yeah, many of your clone brothers have taken on individualistic characteristics of their Jedi generals; but that's because they have no basic sense of who _**they**_ really are. If I were the Jedi counsel - I'd be terrified of this army!"

"Hum." I looked at Shiloh as I sat and thought about that a minute or two.

"But what about your military?" I asked.

"No matter how you slice the cake. Clone soldiers just have issues." He chuckled. "The army I came from though, is set up and structured very differently. We are a standing military / peace keeping force. We've been in existence for hundreds of years and there have been literally billions of us who've grown up, lived and died in a clone army society. The planetary confederacy that maintains this military and all our associated facilities is extremely protective of us. We have rights and a constitution. We live out a normal, natural life span, raise our own clone children, take care of our elders and our own disabled. We are very well educated, highly trained and very much encouraged to develop strong attachments to each other. We've been genetically, chemically and behaviorally altered to not reproduce in order to keep this society going. Even for all that though; we too suffer from the common problems that are inherent in the ethics of cloning an army! The only real way around that is just not to do it!"

I sat and looked at Shiloh another long minute.

"Do you wish they hadn't?" I asked.

"Do I wish they hadn't cloned an army?" Shiloh answered my question with another question. "I wouldn't be here if they didn't." He chuckled. "I suppose the real question becomes; am I glad I'm alive?" He looked at me. "All life has value in the eyes of God, because ultimately He is the giver of it; not a science test tube." Shiloh paused a moment. "Am I glad I'm here? Yeah." He smiled. "Am I happy? I have my moments." He glanced at me. "Has my life been any less harrowing than any of yours? No." He sighed as he paused another moment, looking as if he was not sure if he should say the next thing that seemed to be in his mind.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Well." Shiloh blew out a long slow breath. "I'm not sure how much to tell you of my own past, because I don't know what you've been through and I don't want what I say to trigger bad memories of your own." He looked at me. "I don't know what they did to you back on Kamino; but I can tell you're terrified of these guys." Shiloh paused for a minute and shifted positions. "I know the guys were threatened with death at every turn for just the slightest disobedience and I know what some of them went through to be 'reprogrammed'." Shiloh paused another minute. "Many of these 'reprogrammed' were made to watch their 'perpetually disobedient' childhood friends be executed."

"Yeah, uh." I squirmed uncomfortably. "I know that. One of the kids; the only other clone I'd ever seen, told me. He'd witnessed them do it once and he came crying to me saying we couldn't play games any more because they'd kill me if they found out he was hacking their computers." I sucked in a deep breath in a feeble attempt to hold back the tears. "He never came back again after that."

I took a minute to compose myself as I'd already spent many nights of the past crying over missing young-ling Boba Fett. I'd wondered what had happened to him over these few short years. He, like all of us, (in a lot of ways); was only still just a child. I'd heard his "father" Jango had actually been killed in the first battle of this war. That wasn't very comforting, seeing how he'd been the template for the rest of us. If his survival rate wasn't that good; why should we expect any more?

I took in another deep breath and looked at Shiloh.

"What happened to you?" I whispered.

Shiloh sat quietly for several long minutes before he gave a short simple answer.

"I'd been captured" He sighed. "And the army decommissioned all the surviving clones in my squadron on account of what these aliens had done to us. We were no longer deemed fit for duty." He paused a moment. "A few of us ended up working for the planetary space command of the people who found us. After three years of imprisonment; we'd been put on a freighter and set afloat in space. I haven't seen combat in 20 years." Shiloh laughed. "Several alien scientists, pilots and some of us clones were testing a propulsion system and an accident put us all the way out here." He looked at me a minute. "I was the only one who survived."

"Wow." I said.

Shiloh sat for a while seeming lost in thought.

"Yeah, wow." He finally chuckled. "Not just a job; it's an adventure."

We both giggled.

"Well, you seem pretty well humored." I inquisitively commented. "You appear physically fine and of sound mind?" I looked at Shiloh. "What did these aliens do to you?" I finally asked.

"Well." He smiled. "Mind you now, I've had 20 years of recovery. It's been a long journey." He said. "But basically we'd been used in sex trafficking and the pornography industry." He sighed. "It was profoundly humiliating to be soldiers and have _**that**_ happen to us." He looked at me. "You expect to get captured and beaten and have your enemies try to extract vital military information out of you. Things like that." Shiloh let out a nervous laugh and shrugged. "Not like that is a pleasant experience either; but I never even imagined that there were those out there who specifically preyed on clone soldiers for the sole purpose of sex!" Shiloh cringed. "That's just bizarre and totally warped!"

"Yeah it is." I squirmed uncomfortably.

"But apparently it isn't uncommon." Shiloh looked at me, cocked his head and made a funny face. "The only one here I've ever told that to; other than you - was Alexandria." He sighed. "And she conferred that she'd frequently see clone prostitutes when passing through the red light districts on Coruscant."

I looked at Shiloh in disbelief.

"Alexandria had told me that her first experience with this was one covert operation she and two other Jedi had done on Coruscant only a month or so after the war had started." Shiloh went on. "They all had just been given their own commands and they'd gone to this place to do a pick up on information about the Hutts. When they'd gotten into this drinking establishment, they realized it wasn't just a bar; but a strip club. Well, the entertainment for the evening was several of your brothers." Shiloh shook his head. "And since you are all so conditioned to follow orders, they did what ever the patrons asked of them; regardless of how degrading." Shiloh let out a sigh. "Alexandria said she and the other two Jedi could never look at their own men again the same after that. She'd always wondered who those clones were in the bar that evening and how they'd ended up there."

We sat quiet for several long minutes.

"Ewww, that's really disgusting!" I finally said, as Shiloh nodded.

* * *

God what is wrong with this world? I peered up at the faintest streamers of breaking morning light as puffs of frosty breath dissipated before my drooping eyes. Hey, was that actually a prayer? I suddenly sat up and looked around the awakening camp. Shiloh had mysteriously disappeared. I sunk back down to the ground and curled up in a ball. The last thing I remember, was a pair of feet tripping past. "Got breakfast duty!" The groggy voice above the boots called back to another as they scurried away.


	5. Chapter 5 Naming Miss Daisy

"_**Naming Miss Daisy"**_

_**Day 18:**_ I've spent most of today pondering things that have taken place over the past three or four days. I continued my story with Salam and told him what happened after Shiloh and I had finished our conversation.

It was the wee hours of the morning and just as dawn was breaking; I'd fallen asleep. One of the men woke me just prior to dinner and said they'd recently made contact with the Resolute. Alexandria was up on the ship making plans with Obi Wan and Anakin to take out the droid factory and since they'd found our data so pertinent; they were sending _**me**_ up there. I walked in on the tail end of the conversation between Shiloh and Alexandria.

"Yes, ma'am we will send up the clone that brought the information. They did an excellent job" I heard Shiloh. "You're in for a surprise." He chuckled. "More than one."

"Well, I'm looking forward to it." I heard the response come over the small speaker set up on the room. "You all always do so well. Thank you!" It concluded.

They both signed out and when Shiloh turned around to me; he clapped his hands together and pointed behind us. "Alright; follow him." He instructed. I turned to a pilot who waved at me and said he was ready to go; did they have all the data downloaded.

"Yeah." Shiloh said as he handed me Salam's helmet and a data pad.

I followed the pilot to a small fighter and climbed in the seat behind him. It was quite cramped and musky smelling. I put Salam's helmet on and strapped myself in. Odd as I thought about it, in these moments before take-off; how Salam's gear smelled like him. Not that I hadn't noticed it before; just that I'd never really thought about it. I felt rather comforted by this, as I settled back in the seat and closed my eyes.

"We've been cleared for take-off. Are you ready?" The pilot's voice suddenly coming through the com-link startled me.

"Oh yeah. I'm ready." I mumbled. "Is there anything you need me to do?" I asked.

"Nope." He answered. "Just sit back and enjoy the ride."

We took off without incident and about 15 minutes later, were docking on the Resolute. I climbed out of the fighter and followed the pilot down to the docking bay floor, where a captain and a commander were awaiting my arrival.

"Follow us." They said without much a-due as we proceeded down a long corridor.

I'd never been on one of these large ships before and it was kind of exciting to see what it's happenings were. The corridors were filled with clones of all variety of stripe and rank and various uniform and armor combinations; all scurrying from hither to yon in what ever destination they'd been designated too. No-one had paid much mind to my helmeted head until we'd ventured further into the ship's interior. I guess it was customary once you'd passed a certain point to remove your head gear; but since I didn't think that would be particularly wise at this point - I opted to leave the helmet on. It wasn't long till we passed through several other sets of doors into a small briefing room where four other people awaited us.

"This is clone trooper number - - wait a minute; negative?" The captain said as he smacked the back of my helmet. "Something must be wrong with the monitor." He'd concluded as he smacked it a couple more times. I quickly spun around and slapped his hand away. "Don't do that!" I yelled. He suddenly stopped and stood there seeming a bit shocked. He looked like he was about to deck me when a voice called out from the other side of the room.

"Relax Rex!" It said.

"Sir, Yes Sir!" The captain automatically responded before he took a minute to contain himself and then issued and order of his own.

"Take your bucket off!" He said rather gruffly. "Before I knock your head off!" He mumbled, although mostly to himself.

I just stood there while the others gathered around. Well, this disobedient clone was still hesitant to take her helmet off; so Alexandria took it upon herself to assist me. I still remember the looks on everyone's faces.

"Woah, he's a she!" The commander quietly whispered, totally possessed by the dumbfounded look on his face.

"And she's one of us!" The captain's voice suddenly softened.

Alexandria looked long and hard at me, then turned to one of the other Jedi.

"Obi Wan?" She said. "You've been on Kamino. You know anything about female clones?"

Obi Wan just shook his head in disbelief.

"That doesn't make much sense. Why make a female clone?" The third man inquired. Everyone else started to snicker.

"Well master..." A forth voice giggled as Obi Wan peered over at his Jedi companion.

"Figure it out Sky-guy." He mumbled under his breath.

Alexandria quietly snickered as she looked at me and then at Obi Wan.

"Well, she's wearing _**your**_ armor." Obi Wan suddenly interjected as he turned toward Alexandria. "So, I believe _you_ are much more qualified to handle this... _situation_ than I?"

"Well, thank you." Alexandria replied as she didn't seem too sure about this remark.

"You're very welcome." He responded with a smirk.

"Um, excuse me sir?" One of the clones interrupted.

"No Cody!" Obi Wan brusquely answered.

"Ah this isn't about her sir." The commander responded. "Well, not really. I think you want to see this data she brought... sir."

They started into a briefing immediately; in which Alexandria realized from my growling stomach that I'd hadn't had anything to eat recently.

"Captain." She called.

"Sir, Yes Sir." He answered.

"That's Ma'am Captain!" Alexandria corrected him.

"Sir, Yes Sir." The captain repeated. "I mean, sorry Ma'am." He quickly amended.

"Why do they do that; it's so annoying." Alexandria muttered as she shook her head.

"Any ways, Captain; take her to the mess hall. This briefing will commence in one hour. We want to look at this data." She instructed as she, Obi Wan and "Sky-guy" communed around my data pad.

"Ma'am, Yes Ma'am!" The captain replied in careful choice of words before he turned and looked at me. "Come on." He said, suddenly sounding as if there was a hint of happiness in his voice.

So Captain Rex, followed by Commander Cody and some suddenly famished young-ling (whom I'd assumed was Skywalker's Padawan) escorted me to the mess hall. I put my helmet back on once we exited the briefing room. The captain just glanced back at me with a funny look on his face.

"You're going to have to take that off to eat ya know." He said.

When we got to the "mess hall"; I realized they hadn't taken me to the actual mess hall, but some small lounge. As we went inside and I discovered it was nearly empty; I finally gathered the courage to ditch the helmet. The captain looked at me and cracked a restrained smile.

"Isn't that better now?" He asked.

The commander followed me in and the two men stood for a minute, just sort of glaring at each other.

"Well I'm hungry too." The commander smiled as he reached over and gave the captain a friendly wack on the back.

"If you didn't outrank me Cody - I'd hit you right now!" The captain growled under his breath.

"Come on Rex, you know I can't let you have all the fun." The commander smirked.

"Ahhhem." The sound of someone suddenly clearing their throat came from behind me.

We all turned around.

"Oh, and this is General Skywalker's Padawan Commander Ashoka Tano." The commander introduced us; suddenly slipping from sly fox to strictly business. Well, isn't that interesting. I thought to myself.

"Oh blaster bolts!" The Padawan suddenly exclaimed as she patted her mid-section and made a quick survey of the floor; swooping down to retrieve something she'd obviously dropped.

"And since Captain Rex is under General Skywalker's command; she's here to chaperone _**him**_!" Cody whispered teasingly between Rex and I; as the Padawan was busy chasing some small rolling object.

The captain glared at the commander. "You just couldn't resist it could ya Cody?" He rumbled in a low mutter.

"Resist what?" Cody shrugged in feigned innocence as the Padawan was now headed back our way.

The captain let out a heavy sigh.

"Hello. Yes, I'm Commander Ashoka Tano." She stuck her hand out to me.

"Hello." I returned her greeting.

"This is for the café incident isn't it?" Rex whispered under his breath. "You're paying me back for that _**now**_; aren't ya?" He murmured through gritted teeth as he peered suspiciously at Cody.

"Café incident?" The Padawan paused a minute. "Oh yeah, ooooh." She suddenly cringed and then started to snicker. Cody just smiled politely.

"The café incident?" I inquired of the young-ling as Cody started to walk toward the chow line.

"Yeah." She answered. "Rex put laxatives in Cody's café about a month ago now." She grinned. "Let's just put it this way; he had a couple of really shitty days!" She whispered before she inched around me and stalked off toward the chow line.

"Ooooh!" I made a sick face as I glanced over at Rex. He just folded his arms and shook his head with a sigh.

"So professional." Rex muttered in aggravation. "He's a good man; Obi Wan? They really don't know him. He's lunatic." He shook his head one last time before he glanced in the direction of the chow line.

Both Cody and the Padawan were standing, looking back at us. Come on. They motioned. We all gathered some trays, got our food and went to sit down in the far corner, next to a view-port that had a nice vista of the planet below us. Cody sat down first, I set my try across from him and Rex set his down next to me. Just before he got a chance to sit though; the young-ling slid his tray across the table and suddenly slipped in next to me. Cody looked at Rex and just smiled.

"Do you want to sit here?" Cody suddenly offered "So you have a better view?" He glanced at me and then gestured out the view-port.

"No, I'm fine." Rex answered sharply, as he let out a sigh and then sat down.

I was busy poking through the items on my tray when Cody started to talk to me.

"Well, as you probably already know." He said matter-of-factly. "I'm Cody and he's Rex. I already introduced you to Commander Tano; what's your name?" He asked. "Do you have a name, you must have a name!"

I paused a moment and looked at both Cody and Rex when I suddenly noticed the Padawan was taking her top off. I found this rather surprising, as it seemed to me, that this simple tube she was wearing underneath, was what I would consider as underclothes. My facial expression must have been rather obvious, as Cody chuckled quietly and Rex just kept his head down staring at his food as he ate. I sort of glanced over at her and she looked up at me and smiled.

"So what _is_ your name?" She asked.

"Oh". I mumbled as I looked around at the two men; both of whom seemed to be attempting to avoid looking at this Padawan.

"Um.. Ah - I don't really have a name." I hesitantly confessed while both the brothers paused a minute and looked at me. "Well, there were things the Kaminoans called me; but.." I amended. "You know how that is." They both chuckled. "I guess the closest thing I ever came to a name was from Boba Fett." I sighed. "He sometimes called me sister."

"Hum." Rex and Cody both seemed to express together.

"Other than that, most of the time he'd just say: "Hey clone chick!" and start giggling." I snickered. "That was OK though; because I used to say to him: "What clone baby"! Then he'd get all annoyed because, you know we all aged faster than he did." The fellas chuckled.

"Too much of a hurry to grow up." Rex commented. "I've seen that a lot."

The Padawan squirmed a bit as he glanced over at her and then back at me.

"Yeah, becoming an adult in 10 years isn't exactly all it's cracked up to be." I said.

"No, it's not." Cody responded as the three of us glanced around at each other with the same knowing look; for we'd all suffered the same 'childhood'.

"Well!" Rex paused before he reverted to the previous topic. "We've got to come up with a name for you. You can't go without a name. I saw a little bit of that data you brought in. Excellent work you two did. You're certainly worthy of more than a couple of numbers."

"Isn't everybody?" I looked at him. He glanced down at his food, but didn't answer.

"Yes, I would agree with you; everyone needs a name!" Ashoka confirmed. "So what shall we call you?" She looked thoughtfully at me for several minutes. "You're resemblance is striking." She said in a rather amazed tone as she glanced back and forth a few times between Cody and myself.

"Striking yes, but not because of resemblance!" Cody started to laugh, albite a bit nervously.

"Yes Cody, she's definitely better looking than you!" Rex smiled in retort at Cody.

Cody paused a moment and looked back at Rex.

"Well I'm glad you feel that way!" He said in a rather business like tone and then when it seemed no one was looking; slyly winked at Rex.

I glanced over at the Padawan as she squirmed a bit more and then straitened up.

"A name, we still have to come up with a name." She said. "OK focus." She told herself as she tapped her fist on the table and then to her forehead.

"Daisy the droid destroyer!" Rex suddenly blurted out as Ashoka and Cody both just turned and stared at him, while I erupted in laughter.

"What?" Rex looked at Cody with an innocent shrug.

"Man, you gotta stop being quite so... utilitarian!" Cody responded.

"No, no, no - that's OK." I interrupted. "That's the best name I've heard so far. If you want to call me that Captain; I'm OK with it!"

Rex suddenly straitened up and grinned triumphantly at the other two. Now that's my kind of girl. His eyes seemed to say as they flashed around at all our faces and turned back now to vanquish his dinner.

"You go... Jango!" Cody said as he gave Rex a shove, while Rex just waved his arm in the air and slapped at Cody's hands.

"So we heard you'd actually escaped from Kamino!" The Padawan suddenly interjected.

I stopped cold and hesitantly peered over at her. Everyone else suddenly stopped eating as well. What did she know of this and did it mean that I was about to be sent back?

"Don't worry." She grinned. "We won't tell them." She whispered, while everyone was still looking at her as if to ask: How do _**you**_ know that. "I was in the briefing room before anyone else came in and I saw Master Obi Wan talking to Grand Master Yoda over the halo-imager." She answered. "Grand Master Yoda said the Kaminoans had contacted the Jedi counsel over a highly experimental clone they wanted returned if we'd ever encountered..._this clone_. They never referred to..._it_,as... _he_; Grand Master Yoda said. So, they must mean... _you_." The Padawan paused a minute. "So why _did_ you run away." She asked point blankly.

I sat there a minute and took in a deep breath.

"Well." I answered. "Like the Jedi Obi Wan had told the Jedi Skywalker in the briefing room." I paused another moment as I tried to be as polite as possible. "_Figure it out!_" I whispered.

"Oh." Another whisper came from the other side of the table as the two brothers were peering at each other. Apparently they'd... _figured it out_; which wasn't of much comfort to me.

"Hum." The Padawan made a funny face as she too looked at Cody and then at Rex. She eyed Rex for a minute or so before he turned and looked at her.

"That's not right... Commander!" He said rather directly.

"I would agree." She responded with an expression that half bordered on sarcasm and... veiled relief. I looked at her rather puzzled before I glanced over to Cody. Cody seemed to me to be lost in his own thoughts as to what all this meant. He glanced at me and then gazed out the view-port.

"That's war." He said. "A lot of things aren't right."

We finished the rest of our meal pretty much in silence. I tried to ignore what was going on at the table, as well as the stares from others _**I **_was getting. I kept glancing at Cody and Rex; who now seemed a little apprehensive to actually look back at me. When the Padawan got up to get something to drink, Rex sat up and gazed strait at me for a couple of minutes. I sat up too and returned his thoughtful consideration.

"You're still beautiful." He said.

"So are you." I responded plainly. "Both of you. All of you. All of us." I told them with a certain degree of confidence that I myself wasn't even sure where it was coming from.

Rex's expression of contemplative admiration suddenly melted into one of chaotic and apprehensive disconcertion.

"What?" He questioned in almost a whisper.

"We are... beautiful." I apprehensively whispered in response. "Regardless of what they intended, or even did to us on Kamino." The words just spilled out of me. "Despite the republic's use of us, or the Jedi leaders consternation over us. Our existence has value above and beyond following orders." I said. "We may have been engineered by the Kaminoans; but we were created by God! Life is not as cheap as we've all been lead to believe."

Rex looked down at his food, glanced over at Cody and then back at me.

"I..I know that." He said. "I don't know about that God thing." He corrected himself. "Guys in the unit down on that planet have this weird belief in some... Creator." Rex shook his head and waved his hand in the air. "What ever that is; but yeah. I know, life is not as cheap as we've all been lead to believe." He paused and looked at me.

"I once told Senator Padme' that these men were born to die; but..." Rex said rather gruffly before he let out a sigh and glanced between Cody and myself. "That's not true." He concluded in a nearly inaudible whisper. "That's just not true."

"No, it's not." Cody responded as he shook his head and I nodded in agreement.

"You know?" Rex sighed too, after some more moments of contemplation. "I've always said experience ranks above all else in my book and maybe that's at least partially true on a battle field." He sucked in another deep breath. "But you know, I've encountered a lot of people who's years may be full of experiences that have never made them wise."

"Hu, huh." Cody let out a caustic laugh as Rex glanced over at him and shook his head.

"We know that one all too well; don't we?" Cody commented as he looked at Rex and then slapped him on the back. "You're an awfully intelligent feeble-minded clone; you know that, don't you?" Cody smiled and then made a clicking noise between his gum and his cheek as if to say - yep; take note of this ironic contradiction that we clones aren't suppose to be brilliant enough to notice!

"Yeah, thanks!" Rex replied as we all looked around at each other; concluding one last conversation without ever uttering a word.

"Well, where's the refresher?" I suddenly changed subjects. "I need to use it before we get back to the briefing."

"Oh, it's down the hall around the corner." Cody answered as he collected my tray and started to stand up. He paused a minute as he looked around the lounge, apparently trying to locate the young-ling before he made a decision upon what the next course of action should be. The Padawan had gotten sidetracked talking to someone else.

"Hey?" He poked Rex.

"What?" Rex asked, as he peered over in the direction Cody was looking.

"You done eating?" Cody inquired, as Rex hadn't finished his food.

"I'm not really hungry." Rex replied with a sigh.

"I tell you what." Cody said as he put the trays back down and glanced in the direction the Padawan had gone. "You show her where the refresher is; I'll keep 'you know who' occupied and we'll meet you back at the briefing room."

Rex looked up at Cody with a hint of disbelief.

"Hurry up before she comes back." Cody whispered.

We both got up and quickly exited before the Padawan noticed we were gone.

"Are you OK?" I asked Rex once we got out into the hallway.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He responded dryly as he continued walking. "Here it is." He stopped suddenly when he'd realized he'd brought me to the men's room.

"Oh sorry; that's right." He cleared his throat as he glanced over at me and then suddenly stood there for several minutes. "You look just like the rest of us." He smiled with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yeah, I know." I responded as I picked my hand up and somewhat hesitantly put it on his shoulder. "I know."

We stood there watching each other for a considerable time.

"Well come on." He finally turned away. "There's a single refresher down here."

I followed him down the hall way.

"Oh, there's a weight room." I commented as I peeked in the window. There were a couple of guys in there who stopped momentarily and looked at me with puzzled expressions. I let out a little chuckle as I quickly turned away.

"Hey Captain?" I inquired as I opened the refresher door.

"What?" He looked over at me.

"Are there some extra, unissued fatigues and jump-suites floating around this ship somewhere?" I asked.

"Yeah, I suppose there are." He responded rather surprised.

"Can I get some?" I requested.

"Yeah, sure. I'll get you some." He said in a rather reflexive tone. "They'd fit you. You're a clone." He whispered.

"Yeah, I am." I smiled.

"Yeah, you are." He smiled back.


	6. Chapter 6 Cody Act I

"_**Cody - Act One" **_

_**Day 19:**_ After the mission briefing, Alexandria took me back to her quarters. She said I could stay there with her for the night and in the morning, she'd see what she could scrounge up for me of additional clothing and gear. She said a requisition for clone apparel coming to her quarters aught to give at least a few of the guys some chuckles. My oh my; she's got some lucky clone stashed away in her bedroom! Needless to say, they don't understand that this "lucky clone" is only there to keep other clones from getting "lucky". But anyways; we'll straiten this all out eventually. She reassured me.

So, that being said; even with all these complications I was facing, that weight room with it's couple of treadmills was looking quite irresistible right about then. I was feeling a bit agitated and needed to dispense with some of this pent up energy. So I patiently waited until it was quite late before I ventured out to rid myself of some excess adrenalin. I managed to avoid almost everyone as I snuck down the halls on my way to this hopefully empty weight room. When I'd arrived, I noticed the lights were off. Well good, at least it doesn't appear anyone is here. I thought to myself as I slipped in the door and made sure the automatic light stayed off.

I went over to the treadmill closest to the view-port and fiddled with the controls in the after glow of the planet, until I'd figured out how to start the stupid thing. About five minutes had passed when I realized I wasn't alone in this room. Someone was sitting on the floor about a meter or so from me.

"Who is that!" I rather loudly demanded as I jumped off the treadmill.

"It's Cody. You ate dinner with me earlier tonight." The voice answered, as a form appeared in the silhouette of the planet.

"OK?" I responded as I could see him in the glow of the moon that was now passing on our side of this terrestrial body. "But why are you sitting here in the dark?" I questioned.

"Same reason you're running on a treadmill in the dark." He responded. "It's quiet in here; no-one can see me and no-one knows where I am."

"Do you always hide in the weight room after hours?" I asked.

"No, just sometimes." He chuckled. "I saw Rex about an hour after the briefing. He had some extra clothes for you and I'd figured he'd found you; but I guess he hadn't. When I saw him again just before taps he was still alone."

"Alone?" I laughed. "You mean the young-ling wasn't on his tail."

"No." Cody said and let out a little laugh.

"Is there something going on between the two of them?" I asked rather point blank.

"Oh Nooo!" Cody made a face. "Or at least I certainly hope not." He amended rather dryly. "She's not much more than a child."

"Well, neither are we." I pointed out.

"Yeah but; at least we're all about the same." He laughed again. "I'd rather... well never mind." Cody suddenly shut up.

"Yeah." I folded my arms and glared at him. "Sure."

Cody grinned real big and started to giggle.

"OK!" He snickered in a hushed voice I don't think he necessarily intended me to hear as he scrunched his shoulders up, held his arms out and took as step or two toward me.

"No!" I made my point as I reached over and slapped him a good one strait across the face. He staggered a few paces and fell on the floor. "Sheb!" He mumbled as he rubbed the side of his head. "You're defiantly one of us!" He concluded as he glanced up at me. "But I suppose I deserved that." He mumbled again as he jumped to his feet.

"Yes you did!" I agreed rather sternly.

"Well, fair enough." He said. "But you can't blame a brother for trying. Come on!"

"Come on what?" I demanded as I gave him a shove.

"Oh, So that's how you gonna be?" He whooped as he shoved me back.

We spent about the next 15 minutes hurling stupid insults and trying to knock each other down. Suddenly the light went on. We stopped immediately and turned around. Standing there watching us were the Jedi Obi Wan and Alexandria.

"Sir, yes sir." Cody mechanically snapped to attention in a preprogramed response.

That is so odd? I thought to myself.

"How about this... _situation_; hum?" Alexandria chortled as she folded her arms and peered at Obi Wan. "This is _**your **_ship!" She retorted as she poked him.

"Oh come on; they... they... were just being clones." Obi Wan interjected a half baked response. "There's no... _situation_ here!" He innocently shrugged, then eyed Alexandria. They both started snickering.

I peered over at Cody.

"Ewww!" I said.

"Oh Shut up!" He mumbled back at me; as he waited till Obi Wan wasn't looking and then snuck in one last subtle shove.

"Oh, so that's how you are?" I countered while I grabbed his arms and tried to trip him. "Stop it!" He protested in a bit of apprehensive self control.

"See." Obi Wan pointed out. "Clones!" He grinned.

"Commander." Obi Wan suddenly called out to Cody.

"Sir, Yes Sir General Sir." Cody immediately snapped to attention again before his Jedi leader. Obi Wan just made a funny face and shook his head.

"I came looking for you because we have a request that's just come in from the Jedi Council. We have to go find someone." Obi Wan instructed.

"Is it me?... Sir?" I questioned.

"This one; no. Although yes, they want us to find you too; but after discussing it with Grand Master Yoda." Obi Wan paused a minute. "We don't know where you are." He smiled craftily. "Master Yoda said they'd relayed some bit of information to him about genetics, natural sequencing order and biological reproduction. Well in short, we know why you ran away; so. No, we'll never find you."

"Sir?" Cody cocked his head and looked at Obi Wan.

"They wanted to start a pilot genetics program to see if they could come up with better clones." Obi Wan answered Cody. "Basically, they wanted to breed you guys."

Cody paused a minute and then peered over at me.

"Ewww!" He cringed and then somewhat involuntarily broke into a smirk.

"Well thank you Commander!" I replied. "Really that's the best thing anyone's said to me since I left Kamino!"

Every one laughed.

"So Commander, I want you to find me a crew for this mission. Have them report to me at 07:00 hours." Obi Wan said as he walked over to Cody and handed him a data pad.

"Sir, Yes Sir." Cody responded as he took the data pad and started looking at it.

"And Commander." Obi Wan eyed Cody. "I don't want to hear from General Alexandria about you!"

"Sir, Yes Sir...Sir?" Cody suddenly looked confused as Alexandria started laughing.

"How would we know it was him specifically?" Alexandria said as she pointed at Cody and Obi Wan turned and looked at her.

"Yeah, Good point!" He said as they both shifted on their heels and exited the weight room. Obi Wan suddenly reached in the door and shut the light off again.

Cody looked at me, held his arms out one more time, wiggled his fingers and started to giggle.

"NO!" I protested as I shoved him. He went flying across the room and tumbled over a weight bench. There was a huge crash and several dull thuds when I'd suddenly realized what I'd done.

"GENERAL KANOBI" Cody yelled as Alexandria and Obi Wan came rushing back in. Obi Wan flipped the light on. They both looked at me and then at Cody laying on the floor amidst a scatter of weights.

"The force be with her!" Cody slurred as he picked up his head and pointed at me. "Uuuh!" He groaned as he flopped back down on the floor.

After some reassurance that Cody really wasn't hurt; Alexandria and Obi Wan beat a hasty retreat - _**again**_. Odd? I thought to myself as I got up and cautiously tippy toed over to Cody.

"Are you OK?" I managed an apprehensive inquiry.

"Uh, yeah. I think so." Cody groaned. "Or at least I hope so." He mumbled in post script.

"Sorry." I guardedly apologized.

Cody just lay there glaring at me, before he gingerly rose to his feet. He didn't respond as he walked about the room a bit, just casting periodic suspicious glances my way.

"Heard about this." He mumbled somewhat incoherently. "Mostly rumors I didn't want to believe though."

"What's the matter?" I lent another cautious query.

"Don't know." He shrugged. "But I don't like it." He folded his arms and peered out the window before he reached a hand behind his head and gave the back of his neck a vigorous rub. "Think I'm comin unglued." He whispered, his voice quivering a bit.

"What do you mean... coming unglued?" I muttered.

"Nothing's right." Cody responded. "I feel weird. Everything's weird. No-ones acting... right?" He looked over at me as if I had the answer. All I could do was shake my head and shrug.

"Ahh, probably nothing." Cody dismissed the thought with a wave of the hand. "Clones have nightmares all the time and there probably aint a one of us that's in touch with reality." He mumbled to himself as he began picking up the weights.

"What's going on?" I nearly pleaded, trying to hold back my own apprehension.

Cody suddenly stopped and looked at me. He cocked his head a minute and folded his arms again.

"You ever have a Jedi force throw you through the air?" He suddenly asked.

"No." I hesitantly confessed. "Not really."

"Hum." He nodded suddenly thumbing his chin with his right hand, while I just chuckled.

"Spending too much time with Kanobi?" I gestured at Cody's mannerism.

"Oh?" Cody glanced down at his hand, apparently unaware of what he was doing. "Yeah, wish that was the least of it." He let out a morbid chuckle as he folded his arms and looked at me again. "They do experiments on you back on Kamino?" He suddenly inquired.

"Uh...no...not yet at least." I answered with an awkward shrug.

"They didn't know did they?" Cody sprung another question. "They couldn't know." He continued. "Because if they had; they would have ripped you apart." He shook a finger at me.

"That means this is a recent development with you too." He wagged his hand some more as he continued to think out loud. "Which means Fives was right!" Cody suddenly concluded. "Which means I gotta go find him." He mumbled as he ran up and slapped me on the shoulder before heading for the door.

"Ahhhh?" He suddenly stopped and slowly turned around. "What is it those guys down there say." He mumbled as he tapped his forehead with is finger a few times. "Guard your heart for out if it comes the issues of life... and death..." Cody's voice trailed off a bit.

"Look, I gotta go!" He sighed as he shot me one last backward glance and disappeared down the hallway.

How weird? I thought to myself as I took a seat on the weight bench and stared at the entrance, as if I expected Cody to reappear at any moment with a more thorough explanation. He really isn't as nuts as Rex thinks? I began to piece together. I wonder what he knows?

I left the weight room and hurried back down to Alexandria's quarters as if I could hide there from what ever evil is lurking about. I felt almost desperate to ask her what she knew of all this? After all, she's a Jedi; she has to know_ something_! I was so sure, I had convinced myself as I rushed through the door. Alexandria wasn't back yet though. I paced about a bit trying to figure out what to do. Should I go look for Cody again? I wondered as I plopped down on the cot left for me, my eyes darting in frustration around the room.

Oh, well at least I guess I could write this stuff down. I sighed as I spotted an old fashioned note pad. I jumped up and snatched it off the dresser. I peered down at the strange scribbles posted two pages below.

Give to Daisy - the bottom corner said.

I looked at the page. It was a list of numbers set in columns of two.

"I wonder what they mean?" I mumbled to myself as it seemed to me, from the way they were written, that they had to be coordinate points on a space grid of some sort. I tore the sheet off and hid it in my jumpsuit. Now what does all this mean? I began to scroll my own hieroglyphs on the note pad. I wrote and wrote for what seemed like hours, just filling up page after page. I felt like I was living in an alternate universe and wondered if all this writing I was doing was just but a dream? I kept writing and writing though; until I must have fallen asleep.

_**Day 20:**_ _(A continuation of yesterday. I was too tired to finish this last night.)_

The following morning Alexandria woke me about 07:30. She told me she was going to the lounge I'd eaten dinner in the previous evening and she would be leaving in one half hour.

"I'm requesting your presence accompany me." She said.

"Yes Ma'am." I replied as I got up to start to ready myself.

"Here, these are for you." Alexandria added as she transversed the room to retrieve some clothing that I'd noticed was piled upon a dresser. "Rex brought them to me last evening."

"Oh yes, the Captain Ma'am; I'd asked him if there were any spare uniform items around." I explained. "He was very kind to bring them."

"Well, you seem to be getting along well with the men." Alexandria chuckled as she brought a pile of clothing over to me. "They all like you; but I guess that doesn't surprise me."

"Oh I can get that Ma'am." I interrupted as I headed across the room myself to grab the remaining items.

"My dear." Alexandria paused a moment. "My dear, still somewhat anonymous clone; whom Rex referred to as Daisy." She stopped, looked at me a minute and smiled. "You may call me Alexandria." She said. "It's not my real name, but more of a title my men gave me." I stopped a minute, cocked my head and looked at her questioningly. I'd remembered what Salam said about them all having ancient city names; but he'd never really explained what they meant.

"Alex - an - dria?" I said in a slow inquisitive voice.

She looked at me and let out a chuckle.

"It's the name of an ancient city on a very far away planet called Earth." She began to explain. "Alexandria was a metropolis that contained that planet's largest library at that time. It was the most extensive collection of knowledge in that ancient world." She paused a minute. "It was considered a city of great wisdom and was named after a celebrated and compassionate General Alexander. The name actually means; protector of men." She concluded. "Mine call me this because of my critical necessitate to keep them all alive." She smiled warmly at me. "I extend to you no less of my dedication. I know why you ran away from Kamino and to the greatest extent that I am humanly capable; I will ensure that they _**never**_ find you!"

We both stood there a minute as I tried to digest what she said. They care about me. I pondered with a bit of surprise. How can that be and is it really true? I wondered.

"Thank you Ma'am... Alexandria." I soberly swallowed a bit of courage. You're welcome. She nodded.

"Now go get ready." Alexandria kindly instructed, as she handed me a clean jumpsuit and gestured in the direction of her quarter's refresher.

I went in the washroom and closed the door. As I turned on the sonic shower and started to get undressed, I thought about all the talk of God I'd heard in the past several days. Talk of compassion and Devine providence. Talk of a Being that ruled the universe and made it His business, to not only maintain a vested interest in His creation; but also to play a vital role in the lives of individuals. The last shall be first and the first shall be last. One of Salam's brothers told me. Despite all those who see us as little more than cannon fodder; this God sees us as much more valuable. I sighed as I stepped into the shower. Maybe it really is true after all! I began to hope. I mean, look at the fact that I ended up with people who are so willing to help me. Thank You. I found myself saying. Who ever You are; thank You.

I hurried through my shower and dressing, as to not keep Alexandria waiting. When I came back out and began to reassemble myself into Salam's armor; Alexandria glanced over at me and let out a little chuckle.

"What Ma'am?" I looked up at her.

"Oh nothing." She smiled. "I'm just observing how quickly and throughly my men laid claim to you." She gestured at the armor. "Salam must really like you." She said, indicating that she recognized who this battle gear really belonged too.

"Yes." I grinned a bit shyly.

"Oh." She smiled knowingly and folded her arms. "The feelings are apparently mutual."

I just looked down and giggled.


	7. Chapter 7 Friends and Strangers

"_**Friends in Shadow - Strangers Emerge"**_

We finished readying ourselves and headed down to the lounge where I'd eaten dinner the previous night. Rex and Cody were just getting up to leave as we walked in.

"Good Morning...Ma'am." Rex said to Alexandria as it seemed he was trying very hard to adjust to not calling her 'Sir'.

"Good Morning Captain." Alexandria nodded back as she continued on to the food line.

"Hello." Rex smiled at me as he turned back, looked at Cody and let out a chuckle.

Rex stood quietly smirking while waiting for Cody, who still bore the marks of last night's encounter.

"Look out for her." Cody paused as he elbowed Rex. "The droid destroyer and the clone clocker." Cody whispered with veiled amusement.

"Like you didn't deserve it?... Commander Grody!" I countered a mite sarcastically as Alexandria came walking up. Rex just looked at Cody and continued to smirk while Alexandria let out a discerning chuckle herself.

"Little trouble with the ladies; huh?" Alexandria paused a minute as she leaned over and examined Cody's face before she went to sit down.

Rex smiled at Cody as he folded his arms and then turned back to me. "Don't worry." He said as he gestured in Cody's direction. "You're not the first clone that's clocked him." Rex paused another moment as he turned back to Cody. "And not like you _didn't_ deserve to have your bell rung a few times!" He eyed him. "Commander Clone Clocker!" Rex smirked. "Bong. Bong. Bong." He taunted in whisper.

"Oh like you should talk Rex!" Cody whispered his retort as he crossed his arms and glared back. "Not like you aren't without your own problems!"

"What, what have I done?" Rex inquired a bit defensively.

"Oh nothing, nothing." Cody answered discretely. "Not saying you've _**done**_ anything, just that you've got your own set of... _**issues**_!"

"_**Issues?**_" Rex interjected. "Such as?"

"Such as a certain individual, who shall remain anonymously following you all over this ship." Cody paused a minute as he quickly made a survey of his immediate surroundings just to make sure no other ears were present. "And!" He held his finger in the air. "Who's not another clone; but if asked if she wanted to be a clone, would probably say: Oh yeah, I'd love to have some clone in me." Cody paused another minute struggling vehemently to choke back his giggles. "Some particular clone that is." He finally mumbled under his breath.

It took a wink of silence before the rest of us caught up to Cody's innuendo.

I quick put my hand over my mouth, trying to control the snickers as Rex just glared at Cody apparently a bit taken back by the shamelessness of his remark. Then he turned to me; seemingly not sure what to make out of my giggles.

"Ahem." We heard someone clear their throat. The brothers turned around. It was Alexandria. They both immediately snapped to attention. "It's OK." She whispered very seriously as she reassured them that military protocol was not necessary at this moment. "Maybe if you just find her a date, she can..." Alexandria twirled her finger in the air.

"Oh!" Cody blurted out as he quickly covered his face in unabashed laughter. Rex just looked at him seeming a bit confused as to what exactly was going on and why it was suddenly so funny.

"Think of a word that rhymes with date!" Cody whispered as he elbowed Rex.

"Like inflate?" I offered.

"_**YEAH!"**_ Cody howled as he launched into a brief dance that embodied a few crude maneuvers.

Alexandria and Rex just stood looking at Cody. Alexandria seeming a bit perplexed and Rex, absolutely horrified.

"Impressive Commander. Side of you we've never seen before." Alexandria smiled coyly as she leaned back a moment and glanced down at 'the side of Cody we've never seen before'. "Although that wasn't exactly what I was thinking." She countered rather artfully. "But if it works for you!"

Cody suddenly stopped; looked at Alexandria and then burst out laughing. I covered my face too, as an abundance of snickers escaped while Rex just squeezed his eyes together and shook his head like he couldn't believe what he was witnessing. Rex then grabbed Cody's arm and reeled him in.

"Commander?" Rex whispered in a befuddled shaming scold, that was half veiled in authoritarian tone. "What has gotten into you lately?"

"It's the force!" Cody confided, in an impulsive response back to Rex. "The whole republic has gone... crazy!" He mumbled, before he flashed a mischievous grin and sunk back into the solemn demeanor that I supposed to be his usual self. "It's Chancellor Palpatine's fault." He whispered secretively; his glances darting around the room.

Rex only gave Cody the eye. "You feeling O.K. Bro?" He muttered in all seriousness as he sort of tried to elbow Cody behind him; like he was embarrassed that his fellow clone should be acting so strangely and in front of a Jedi none the less.

"It's the end of the world as we know it." Cody chanted a whisper into Rex's ear, as he peered craftily over the Captain's shoulder. "And I feel fine!"

"Think we aught to take you to medical." Rex just shook his head and then peered apprehensively at Alexandria; as if he was hoping by some miracle she'd not noticed Cody's odd behavior?

"Hum?" Alexandria tapped her chin as she glanced back at Rex. "Prank? Gag? Clone troopers gone wild?" She shrugged in feigned ignorance. "Think he's pulling your leg." She winked, as Cody nodded professionally to Obi Wan and Anakin; who'd just walked in. "He seems normal now." She smiled in reflection of Cody's chicanery.

"Sure..." Rex mouthed as he gestured at Cody and nodded in simulated agreement. (Cody who was now looking off in another direction executing business-like waves.)

"So what do you think it is... Ma'am?" Rex posed another pretend question.

"Stress? Maybe hormones? I don't know?" She chuckled with a clueless shrug.

"Stress?" Rex peered warily at her, while forcefully masking an absurd smirk. "You've seen this before Ma'am?" He attempted to confirm the lie we were all now weaving.

"Grew up on the wrong side of Coruscant." Alexandria offered the only reply she could manage to invent, given the current state of affairs. "Aint much I _**haven't**_ seen Captain." She told him as she slapped Rex on the back and sighed apprehensively. They both peered at each other a moment or so before Alexandria signaled to me and excused herself to go sit down again. I said bye to the fellas and headed off to go get something to eat. When I sat down with Alexandria; I was a bit surprised myself at how aware she was of all the goings on of this ship.

"Yes." Alexandria chuckled. "Jedi and clones may have some differences; but we're all not _**that**_ far apart." She paused a minute. "You're a good example of that." She gestured at me as she picked up her fork. "CT - negative number - the force be with her." She chuckled in an attempt to shroud an anxious sigh.

I smiled a bit and let out a nervous laugh.

"Well sorry about that." I whispered.

"No, it's OK." Alexandria continued the charade. "Just try not to do that again." She whispered back.

"Hello Sir, excuse me Sir." Another trooper suddenly interrupted us. We both peered up at him as he suddenly stood at attention. I noticed he had a 5 tattooed to his forehead.

"_**Yes, soldier.**_" Alexandria replied in a voice that reflected how very annoyed she was at being called 'Sir'. "You may call me Alexandria." She added. "And you _**don't**_ have to call me 'Sir'!" She closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

"Sorry." This trooper whispered.

"That's OK." Alexandria sighed again. "Hello." She nodded.

"Hello." We all acknowledged each other.

"Uh, I am... number...55." He stated rather nervously. "Can I talk to you two a minute, please?"

I looked at Alexandria and then back at this clone.

"Sure." She shrugged as I slid over and the brother took a seat next to me.

"I know this may sound crazy." He said as his hands shook and he looked as if he was on the verge of tears. "I heard about what happened with Commander Cody last night." He looked at me. "Yeah, I know the rummer mill on this ship runs faster than a jump to hyperspace." He apprehensively chuckled. "Uhh." He suddenly stopped.

Alexandria seemed a bit unnerved by this trooper as she slowly reached across the table and wrapped her hand around his elbow. He turned and looked at her.

"He's another one." She whispered as she released his arm and casually diverted her hand to her café mug. I glanced at him a minute and then reached down and grabbed his other wrist.

"Yeah, you are." I said.

He sat quietly as a tear started running down his face. He quickly wiped it away.

"Don't worry, you're not crazy." I told him as he fought hard to hold himself together.

"I have to get off this ship." He gasped. "Something evil is about to happen and I don't want to be part of it."

Both Alexandria and I sat real still for a long time. I could feel the fear and agony running through this trooper as my hand was still wrapped around his wrist. He continued staring down at the table a minute or two before he pulled his arm away momentarily and clenched his hand around mine. Please help me. His desperate grasp seemed to be saying. Help me before I _**do**_ go crazy. I looked over at Alexandria.

"What do we do?" I whispered as Alexandria soberly nodded.

"Where's Philadelphia?" She questioned me as it seemed she'd suddenly gotten an idea. "He was the pilot who brought you up here." She said. "Is he still on the ship?"

"I don't know?" I replied.

"Stay here. I'll be back in a minute." Alexandria looked at her chrono and gestured to the trooper. "Come." She motioned as she got up. "You're going to show me where Supply Room D is." I looked over at him. With one last tentative sigh of relief, he squeezed my hand and then stiffly got up and followed Alexandria out the door.

I waited patiently for about 10 minutes before Alexandria returned. In the mean time, the young-ling came in and saw me sitting there working on my second cup of café.

"Oh hello." She said as she came over and sat down. "I thought you'd be with General Alexandria." She said. "But I just saw her in the corridor. Fives was showing her where Supply Room D is. Not the easiest to find." She smiled.

"No, I guess not." I shrugged. "She told me she was going to the refresher and would be back in a minute." I gestured at the tray left on the table. "She hasn't finished her breakfast yet; but maybe she had to grab something else quick?"

The Padawan just looked at me and shrugged.

"So are you staying on board a while?" She asked. "I hear it's not going to be too much longer before we're called in from the outer rim here. Rumor has it that General Grievous is on the move. People are saying that if we find him the war will be over."

"Oh, I don't know about that." I shrugged. "But we are headed back to the surface today though."

"Oh OK!" The Padawan smiled, seemingly happy to hear I would soon be off this ship. Yes, the feelings are mutual. I thought to myself. This place gives me the creeps. "Well, I'm going to go get something to eat now." She smiled politely as she got up to go stand in line.

Alexandria returned momentarily.

"OK." She sighed as she began to whisper. "Jonah is about to go to Nineveh. He's waiting for you though; but he's officially UA now." She looked at her chrono. "When you get done eating; go back to my quarters. I have to go find Philadelphia. He's got to be here some place. I checked the main computer; the fighter is still parked on the flight deck." She picked up her fork and took a couple bites of her now cold breakfast.

"Help him with Salam's helmet. We have to mask his number." She confided "He'll meet Philadelphia on the flight deck at 11:30. I'll come back for you after I hunt down Rex for a new kit." She paused another minute.

"Once we do that; you'll come with me and we'll throw Jonah's armor in the incinerator. Moab, Jericho and Nazareth are coming to get us. Throw a few extras into this; create a bit of diversion. They don't know my men that well. More of us on this ship than they thought." Alexandria let out a tentative chuckle. "I have to figure this out." She mumbled quietly to herself.

"Ma'am?" I looked at Alexandria as I swallowed the last of my café. "What's going on?" I inquired. "You're a Jedi. You know something very evil is about to take place. What is it?"

Alexandria looked at me.

"I...I don't know... my dear." She loathly admitted, seeming mortified by some unspoken shame that had mysteriously invaded her precious Jedi order. "I don't know what it is; but my men have been telling me now for three days that they want me off this ship." Alexandria continued in a hushed, yet troubled voice.

"They tell me several of them are having premonitions and a few have had bad dreams about something terrible happening. They are afraid for my safety." She sighed as she let down her guard a little and decided let me into the loop. This circle, in which it became painfully obvious that she, 'the Jedi' had absolutely no idea what was going on.

"I don't want to discount their feelings or sense about things, because they've been right before." Alexandria suddenly stopped. "And than there's Cody." She inadvertently muttered.

"Cody?" I suddenly jumped on this new piece of information. "Did he say something to you?" I inquired with a gripping urge to interrogate her. Alexandria just looked at me with one raised eye brow.

"No, it wasn't anything." She attempted to wave me away; but I just sat staring. Alexandria glanced over at me again. "Oh, well he also said something about bad dreams." She just shook her head and tried to dismiss the following thought. "Something about 'the chosen one' and 'the grand army of our undoing'." She mumbled, seeming to wish to remain in some sort of denial.

"But I don't want you to be jumping all over this?" Alexandria's tone quickly changed to a firm scold. "I have no idea what he meant. All clones have bad dreams. It was four in the morning and he looked like he was three sheets to the wind."

"Peace and freedom. Enemies of the Republic!" I suddenly blurted out a vague memory, as my own voice fumbled around in my head for an answer. Alexandria suddenly froze and looked intently at me.

"You've had them too?" She inquired.

"Yes; and so has Salam." I nodded as Alexandria sat up a moment to ponder this. I'm not sure what it was all about; but she looked absolutely horrified.

"I don't have any of those same premonitions." She hesitantly confessed. "And neither do the other Jedi I've asked." She put her silverware down and leaned thoughtfully on her hand for a moment. "I even tried last night to tap into the force and see what I could get; but I got nothing." She glanced up at me. "Why are my clones getting this, but I'm not?" Alexandria shook her head in a slip of rueful pleading. "And apparently it's not only my clones." She whispered as she pulled herself back together and glanced around.

"Six months or more ago, I only knew of maybe one Jango sensitive." Alexandria shifted in her chair a bit. "He was one in millions, or so we all thought?" She sat quietly a minute, seemingly contemplating the weight of such a discovery. Force sensitive clones of a host who was anything but! The concept swirled through my head. What would the Kaminoans do to us if they ever found out? "Then it seems like you are all coming out of the woodwork lately." Alexandria interrupted my thoughts as she looked real seriously at me and let out a deep sigh.

"Yes, my dear." She leaned closer. "As much as I don't want to admit it; since we're suppose to have all the answers." She mumbled as she shook her head and a sudden terror flashed across her face. "Something very evil is about to happen, but I don't know what it is. Where ever this revelation is coming from concerning Jedi and clones; it's only coming to the clones?"

"Huh?" I sat and thought about it a minute. "What about the rest of the Jedi council; what do they say?" I inquired. "Do they even believe clones can have premonitions about anything?"

"Well, Grand Master Yoda doesn't dismiss the possibility; but no-body really believes me." Alexandria sighed again, briefly slipping in and out of her own insecurity. "Most of the council isn't even sure it's possible for clones to be force sensitive; none to say warn _**us **_about some impending doom _**we**_ face." She paused another moment and just looked at me. "There are some Jedi that don't trust you and refuse to have any clones in their units."

"Well, there's clones I don't trust." I chuckled with a bit of irony.

"Yeah, I know." Alexandria concurred with the same irony. "I'm not sure why I seem to be getting you all though?" She whispered, as she put her hand on her forehead. "Not that I really mind." She let out a reserved laugh, seemingly trying to lighten the mood a bit. "I guess clones just like me." She looked at me with a wink and a gleam in her eye. I giggled too.

"Well the men in your unit seem to attribute this to some sort of Divine revelation from the God they believe in." I offered an explanation. "I'm not sure; they could be right?" I hesitantly admitted, feeling a bit fearful that Alexandria might say I'm nuts. "It makes the most sense to me though." I shrugged as Alexandria nodded thoughtfully.

"Maybe in that context it does make the most sense." She peered down at her breakfast as she stirred her fork in it. "I don't really understand their religious beliefs." She confessed. "I do admit though that it's changed them." She looked back up at me. "I've never known any clone to become so... obsessed with morals and ethics? Most I've met are primarily concerned with "a - number one clone in their lives". She paused a minute. "Not that self preservation, interests, or personal power in and of them-selves are wrong." She sighed. "But, I've seen a lot of bitter and even vengeful clones and that scares me." Alexandria paused another moment.

"So yeah, I'd rather command my men than anyone else's." She chuckled as she smiled affectionately at me.

"You love them don't you?" I looked at Alexandria as the revelation of what this actually could be struck me. Love, such a small word with huge dimensions. I reflected a minute.

"Now you sound like Shiloh!" She laughed. "I'm a Jedi, remember. I'm not suppose to be attached." She shook her head and then momentarily paused in an ironic uncertainty. "But yeah, I suppose I do love them." She smiled, suddenly looking relieved.

"Well?" Alexandria glanced at her chrono. "We need to get going." She said.


	8. Chapter 8 Jedi Mind Tricks?

"_**Jedi Mind Tricks?"**_

_**Day 21:**_ _(This late night journal typing is killing me! I've gotta get more sleep!)_

We exited the lounge and headed back to her quarters. The trooper she'd left waiting about 20 minutes prior was still there - waiting: laying on the floor - waiting. After giving me instructions as to how we were going to smuggle this brother off the ship; Alexandria set out to find Philadelphia. As soon as the door closed, I turned and looked at this trooper. He had his helmet crammed on his head and clamped down tight, as I'd heard brothers so often do when they are overwhelmed by their emotions.

I stood there and watched him for several minutes. His helmet adequately retained the sight of his tears and sounds of his sobs; but could never totally mask the agony he felt, as his body shook with the furry of his suffering. I wondered what had happened to him? He lay in a crumpled heap on the deck like a helpless infant screaming for it's mother. His chest heaved as he gasped for breath with every subsequent scream that I couldn't hear. It was eerily silent in the room as I picked up Salam's helmet and quietly sat on Alexandria's bed, in order to make the proper adjustments.

With one eye caught between the chrono and the crying soldier; I lay down for a minute myself. It was only about 09:00 hours and I wondered how long it would be before either Alexandria returned, or this brother calmed enough to talk to and take in the directions I was instructed to give him. I tried to estimate how many minutes it was to the flight deck; as I knew I had to leave enough time for him to clean up his face and to switch armor. So, just to be on the safe side; I set the clock for 10:00 hours. That would certainly suffice! I figured.

I was tired though and I felt my eyes drifting shut. I jumped and sat up with a start, only to realize that a sole 9 minutes had passed. I looked at the trooper, who was still laying on the floor; but now turned toward the bulkhead. I spent a few minutes fiddling with the bed-side clock to wake me in about an hour or so; since it seemed I was ample able to fall asleep right about now. How come it always seems that when I've got better things I could be doing; that's when I'm the most exhausted? I thought to myself. I could be trying to help Alexandria hunt down the necessary things we need. I let out a sigh. She told me to stay here though; so I guess that's what I'm going to do. I sighed again as I flopped back down and my eyes drifted shut.

Being so exhausted, yet not really wanting to go to sleep; I lay there meandering somewhere between consciousness and actual slumber. My mind was active and listening to every little noise that filtered through the doorway within a 100 click radius; _(or at least it __**seemed**__ like a hundred click radius)_. From the bedroom I was in, staring down at myself; my mind began to carry me away. I wadded through blankets of artificial atmosphere; just like I was a ghost floating around the ship watching and waiting for something to happen.

I could see Rex and Cody in the engine room doing... something? They were comparing notes and fiddling with components; standing amongst an army of other miscellaneous clones I didn't recognize. How ironically strange does that sound? My mind began to stray. A clone I don't recognize! I chuckled to myself.

My thoughts floated on to Shiloh, as I contemplated what possible search party could be looking for him and what reverberations this could have in our own universe? Would they be in pursuit of him? I don't know. I mused a bit. I suppose they would, if they could get here? Then I'd know if my imagination pictured accurately these Aardatians Shiloh had described to me? I smiled. They sounded like they'd be cute little creatures. I giggled to myself as I "moved on" to another room.

The Jedi Anakin Skywalker was arguing with Kanobi. Or rather, Kanobi was just standing looking a bit perplexed, while his fellow Jedi was walking the floor ranting about something he periodically felt the need to point a jabbing finger at Kanobi for? I couldn't understand what they were saying. It was like the static on a holo-projector, except it was eerily quiet. That's odd? I began to think to myself. Not like the engine room where I could hear the chatter of a hundred thousand conversations.

I drifted through another couple of rooms before I came upon Skywalker's Padawan. She was sitting in what looked to be some sort of meditation chamber. Her back was too me, head up, legs crossed, with her hands resting placidly upon her knees.

"Who's there!" She yelled out as she suddenly swung around and looked in my direction. Her eyes squinted questioningly as she peered right through me. She must sense I'm here, but can't see me? I contemplated a bit as she quietly ambled to her feet and pattered toward me. Hum? Curious. I looked steadily at her approaching form. She stopped right before me, centimeters from my face.

"What happened?" She questioned as her eyes darted back and forth and up and down; as if she was searching the empty expanse before her for my apparently invisible form. "I didn't hear any disturbance? How did you die?"

"How did I die?" I mumbled in bewilderment. "I don't think I'm dead." I answered.

The young one suddenly jumped back in a an odd panicked confusion. "Master Skywalker!" She called out.

"No wait stop!" I impulsively pleaded.

"What's 'ah matter Snips? Are you OK?" Skywalker's voice suddenly bellowed through her com-link.

"Oh Sorry, never mind." She answered. "It's nothing. I...ahh. I think one of the clones in medical just died." She offered a random explanation.

"You seeing ghosts again Snips?" Skywalker laughed.

"Ah yeah, something like that." She remarked. "It's nothing."

"You sure?" His inquiries seemed to grow more sinister.

"Yeah, I'm sure!" She answered in affirmative.

"OK?" He warily responded in a mix of half suspicion and half annoyance; while his Padawan hurried over to shut the com-link down.

"Who are you and what are you here to tell me?" The young one asked as she came back in my direction and suddenly stopped at midpoint through the room.

"I...I, I don't know?" I answered with a shrug.

"You are a clone aren't you?" She posed another sudden question. "Cause you feel like a clone to me." She concluded. "Why'd you stay though. I've never had the... the... essence, of a brother try to communicate with me?"

"Essence?" I squinted at her. "I'm more than just a vapor. I do have a soul you know!"

"A soul, yeah." She responded. "You must be from that planet down there?" She paused a moment, put her hands on her hips and then folded her arms. "But why are you here?"

"Why am I here?" I suddenly snarled. "Why are any of us... _**here**_?"

The Padawan did nothing but stand tapping her foot in a confused expression of curiosity, exasperation and fury.

"You sound like Rex." She finally mumbled.

"I sound like Rex?" I grunted in disbelief. Did she really think I was the ghost of Rex? No, that's absurd. Rex isn't dead! I started to laugh.

"_Why..._ are you here!" She demanded, now sounding a bit unsettled on top of her curiosity, exasperation and fury.

"Why am I here?" I snarked back at her. "Because of Rex!" I popped out with the first thing that came to mind. _(Now what planetary shattering revelation was I to give her about Rex?) _

"Rex? What about Rex?" Her second demand echoed my churning thoughts.

"Yeah, What about Rex?" I fumbled for an answer. "What am I here to tell you about Rex? I'm here to tell you to _**listen**_ to Rex!" I finally declared with staunch conviction. _(Clueless staunch conviction, yet staunch conviction none the less.) _

"**I **_**do **_**listen to Rex!"** She roared back at me; dropping her fists to her sides, looking as if she was ready to punch the air.

"O.K. Good." I squeaked out before I decided it was high time to beat a hasty retreat before my poor "essence" got it's "you know what" kicked.

I was suddenly disengaged again, floating off out of this room, just watching this Padawan standing there trying to figure out exactly what was going on. Yeah, that's a good question? I thought to myself. What exactly _is_ going on? I'd never done this before. I began to muse. Sort of like I am dreaming, but I'm... awake? Am I actually communicating with some sort of telepathy I didn't know I possessed? Where else could I go? My concentration began to fade as I felt like I was stuck in suspended animation somewhere?

* * *

The music went on and I bolted strait up. "Huh?" I shook my head and peered around the room; ironically, still rather sleepy. Oh yeah... ah, another weird dream. I giggled nervously as I let out a sigh and my attention drifted toward the radio. Well that's pleasant music. The thoughts randomly rolled through my head. A much kinder awakening than the revelry I was so used to hearing every morning back on Kamino. Strange as it is; I thought about that place a lot.

And then this dream? My mind came back to the present. Strange! Was it really even a dream though? The questions began to reel. It all seemed so plausible, like it could have happened? Could my conscience actually do that though? Leave my body dormant and take it's-self for a walk? I don't know? I pondered a bit longer. In this ... occurrence, it did seem like I _was _talking to this Padawan. She sensed the presence of a clone. Why'd she think I was dead though; and why'd she call for Skywalker when her suspicions arose that I really was alive?

I sat momentarily rubbing my face trying to spark some sort of memory that seemed buried beneath the surface. It was a strange feeling, like something had happened to me that I couldn't remember? The notion of flash training kept running through my head. Flash training, flash training? I don't ever remember going through flash training? I thought every clone went through flash training? But I know Boba Fett didn't go through it. He was an extremely independent thinker; or at least_** I **_thought he was? My mind began to sink into confusion. Then again, he kept telling me not to think like a clone? I'm not really sure what he meant though, I had nothing to compare my "clone thinking" too.

Salam, yes dear Salam didn't think like a clone! I suddenly felt comforted by the next reflection that popped into my head. What ever not thinking like a clone meant? The random ideas meandered along. I could suddenly picture myself leaning forward to play smoochie huggie kissy with him; even though I had no clue what that would actually be like?

"Ihhch" I cringed, for my known memories of the past were all... gross. I shuttered and impulsively wiped the 'ickies' off.

* * *

Another odd... reality? Uh, came to mind? Jubilant hugs for a man I felt intimately connected to, but only recognized in this dream? I'd been looking for him; only to find him after leaving a large beam and stone house complete with crackling fireplace. This beautiful view sat perched on a scenic cliff overlooking a picturesque ocean beach. The house belonged to Salam and I'd met him there after just having run into Shiloh jogging along the shore with some sort of large hairy domesticated animal.

"Hi!" Salam hugged me. "Did Grace come with you?" He asked.

"No, I haven't seen her yet." I answered. "But I just saw Shiloh."

"Yeah, he lives two doors down." Salam smiled. "Did he have his dog with him?"

"Is that what that was?" I cocked my head and made a funny face.

"Yeah." Salam laughed. "A breed born on the North American continent. He says they call it a Newfoundland."

"Looks like a bear." I chuckled. "What's it's name?"

"Job." Salam giggled as we both stood and observed the other another a moment or two.

"So where is he?" I finally inquired.

"Out on the island." Salam gestured behind us.

"I've gotta go see him." I said as I gave Salam one last hug and a kiss. "I've waited a long time for this."

"I know you have." He responded as he returned my affections. "Go on." He encouraged.

So I ran down to the beach and peered out over the waves. I could sense he was out there. Well, here goes nothing. I giggled happily as I stepped out onto the sea and began running to the island. There you are. I see you. I screamed triumphantly to the figure standing on the rock ledge waving one arm in a gesture of welcome. I took a giant leap and wrapped my arms around my beloved friend.

"I've missed you." I cried on his shoulder.

"I know." He replied.

I suddenly opened my eyes and gasped at the scene behind him. Some black-hole portal to the under world? It seemed. It's swirling vortex grasping impotently at our fluttering clothing. What the...? The thoughts raced through my mind as I read the enigmatic encryption "Arbeit Macht Frei". I looked puzzled at my beloved before he answered:

"I shall build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."

My thoughts zoomed through the abyss back to the present; my eyes suddenly coming to focus on the armor plated legs before me. Yeah, their attached to my body, so they must be mine. My eyes told me. I sat looking around another moment or two. God, what just happened? The questions jogged my memory. Grace, Salam and of course the Beloved I only subconsciously recognized? Arbeit Macht Frei sparked a sense of De'ja vu. I let out a shudder. I couldn't consciously pinpoint it; but I knew it was pure evil. A pure evil that wouldn't prevail though! Strange? I sat for a moment and thought some more. The notion of clone madness came to mind, but I knew I wasn't going insane. I didn't know why, but I could just tell. I was not losing my mind!

I let out one last long sigh.

My eyes began their decent around the room, before finally settling on this trooper who was still laying on the floor. I'd nearly forgotten he was in here. I chuckled to myself as I watched him for signs of movement. He was in the same position I'd last left him; facing the wall. It didn't look to me though as if he was still crying. He'd probably fallen asleep too. I thought to myself as I got up to check on him. Well, he's still breathing; that's good. I chuckled to myself as I leaned over and nudged him a bit. He didn't respond. I rolled him over, but he still didn't wake up; so I popped the seal on his helmet and pulled it off his head.

He sputtered a bit and brought his hands up to his face, which was covered in half dried... sobs. The inside of his helmet was a mess. I noticed, as there was actually a small puddle of tears in the bottom. "Uhh." He groaned as he put his hands on either side of his head and rolled back toward the wall. I watched him a minute or two as he rubbed his face; apparently trying to get his swollen eyes to open. He sat up and looked around a bit; seemingly trying to figure out where he was and what had happened. He paused a moment at my kneecaps and then peered up at the rest of me.

Much to my surprise, he didn't say a word; just got up and looked around some more. A minute or two passed as it seemed his head cleared and he recognized and remembered 'this place'. I handed him his helmet and pointed to the refresher where he could go wash his face. He peered into the washroom and then back at me.

"Do you believe in an afterlife?" He suddenly mumbled, still seeming a bit dazed.

"Huh?" I just cocked my head and sort of looked at him. His question catching me off guard.

"I dreamt of a great city, on a planet that... sort of looked like Naboo." He began to explain. "It was a beautiful city. A clean city. A city of... peace." He paused a moment seemingly searching my face.

"I went into the marketplace and every thing was free. What ever I needed." He continued on."I saw someone I knew there. Uh, name was Echo." He peered down a moment and sniffed back a tear. "He said he was also decorating his home. Asked me what I thought about finally having a real home." The trooper gazed at me in a fleeting flicker of hope.

"Then he'd asked me if I'd met the great king?" The soldier flashed a momentary visage of confusion. "A great king?" He questioned, his half-hearted giggle exposing an intense and prolonged agony. "I asked Echo if this king was a good king?" He went on. "He said, He's an excellent king; very noble and extremely courageous!" The soldier paused and looked at me. "Do you think such a king really exists?" He asked.

"Hum?" I thought a moment about his question. Does such a king exist? "Yeah." I peered back at him. "Such a king does exist, just not in this universe? I guess?" I shrugged.

"Hum?" He gazed suspiciously at me. "Maybe, maybe not." He commented, before he stiffly sort of hobbled into the refresher and closed the door.

I leaned my head against the wall and took in a few deep breaths, as this odd series of dreams and incidents repeated in my thoughts. I didn't know what they were, but I felt oddly comforted and maybe even slightly amused by some of the antics of such events. _**"Listen to Rex**_!" I began to silently giggle as a quiet rapping on the door drew my attention away.


	9. Chapter 9 The Cherished of War

_**The Cherished of War:**_

The quiet rap grew louder as the impatient soul on the other side of the door seemed insistent that I answer promptly.

"OK, I'm coming." I murmured with a tad of annoyance as I scurried across the room, cracked the door and peeked outside. It was Rex. Hey, didn't I just see you? I giggled a bit at my own inside joke.

"Here." He said as he held out a kit of armor. "General Alexandria told me to bring this to you."

"Oh thanks." I said as I took it and dropped it just inside the doorway, while Rex sort of looked up and down the hall seeming a bit annoyed.

"What's the matter?" I inquired as I slipped out myself.

"Oh nothing." He said. "I just came from engineering and I'm suppose to report to the briefing room in about 15 minutes; or someone's going to come looking for me." He mumbled as he made one last survey of the corridor.

"Engineering?" I muttered to myself as the latest episode in my series of odd dreams played in brief fast forward for me. "Don't tell me. It's the Padawan." I unwittingly offered. Rex just paused a minute and flashed me a curious look.

"Ah, yeah." He finally admitted as he cleared his throat and squirmed a little. I only lent him a raised eyebrow. You do like her don't you? The thought momentarily flashed through my _(ever becoming more cluttered)_ mind.

Hum, I nodded as I tried to come up with a way to gently broach the subject. What really was going on? I began to question as the past few days made it painfully obvious that Salam's simple explanation of Ashoka's perceived lustful interests, were just not adequate to explain the apparent complexities of what I was now witnessing. Rex was obviously in a lot of pain and though I didn't want to jump in somewhere and end up not being helpful at all. A part of me really wanted to get to the bottom of all of this.

Dreams, nightmares, premonitions, Rex, Cody, Alexandria's confusion. I couldn't help think that it was all connected somehow? But why? And how is it that these two, once rumored to have been such close friends, were now so estranged? How did that happen and is connected to all this other 'strangeness' that's going on? What ever it is, maybe Rex can shed some light on this? I squirmed in my disconcerted thoughts as I swallowed hard and inched up to the delicate subject at hand.

"She seems to really like you." I commented, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Rex just gave me the eye.

"Well, she's just a young-ling." He finally responded.

"She's 17 or so now isn't she?" I attempted to push the question a bit further. "She won't be a kid forever. What do you think of her?"

"Nothing!" He snapped rather abruptly. "She's another Jedi; someone else I have to take orders from. That's it! I don't want to get any more involved than that. I don't care what the rumor mill on this ship says!" Rex cut his hand across his throat.

Hum, that's an interesting response. I thought to myself a minute as I watched Rex for a bit of a more thorough explanation.

"What?" He finally mumbled in a soft voice.

"That really bothers you doesn't it?" I folded my arms and looked inquisitively at him.

"What? That she likes me so much, or that she doesn't seem to care what other people are saying about... primarily _**me**_?" Rex suddenly fired back. "Yes it does!" He sternly confessed. "But what am I suppose to do about it? Cody picks on me constantly and General Skywalker doesn't seem to notice?" Rex threw his hands in the air.

We stood silent for a moment, as we'd both noticed Alexandria was coming.

"Good morning again to both of you." She glanced back and forth between the two of us. Seemingly wondering why Rex looked so exasperated.

"Something wrong Captain?" She inquired.

"No." Rex's voice cracked. "I'm fine!" He growled in an attempt to recover his coolness.

"Padawan problems?" Alexandria cautiously probed.

Rex only grunted a denial.

"Please level with me Captain. What's going on?" Alexandria finally dared to venture into the icy waters of uncertainty. "Are you and this Padawan having some sort of ... ehh, problem?" Alexandria sighed. "Last thing I knew you two were friends?"

"Well uh..." Rex tried to side step the question. "Things change... Ma'am." He grunted again as he than glanced over at me and forced and uneasy smile.

Alexandria peered skeptically at Rex and then shook her head. "Captain!" She declared, her annoyance now showing through his thin facade. "This one's been claimed!" She stated point blankly as she gestured toward me. "You know that!" She continued. "I know you know that! So what gives here?"

"Nothing!" Rex reiterated; trying hard to hold his composure.

"Why are you so mad at Ashoka than?" Alexandria shot a question straight at him.

"Because!" Rex finally threw his hands in the air. "Because, because she said... stuff...about me." His voice trailed off a bit.

"It's nothing though. Nothing I can't... take care of." Rex paused a moment as he slipped back into his 'professional soldier' stance. "Ma'am." He assured her as he stretched up a bit to show he was 'tall enough' to 'rise above' this.

Alexandria let out a little sigh; looked at Rex and finally smiled.

"I remember back in the beginning, when this war had just gotten started." Alexandria began to fondly reminisce. "Battle of Christophsis." She shook her finger in the air. "A certain captain; an excellent soldier, Obi Wan had told me." Alexandria smiled as she could see Rex suddenly transformed by the news of Kanobi's approval.

Wow, I thought to myself. Even after all these years. How is it such a battle hardened clone trooper can be so vulnerable, as to be that easily manipulated by the simple mention of praise? Tinges of grief nudged me as I could feel the churning storm in Rex.

"A courageous and trustworthy Captain." Alexandria smiled sadly herself, as she folded her arms and peered thoughtfully up at Rex. "One who wants to maintain an excellent reputation." She glanced at me as she continued her monologue of observations. "One who decided when a certain fourteen year-old came into his command; that he was going to help this kid out. After all, she's under all this pressure trying to prove herself and life in this army is hard enough as it is." She paused a minute and looked back at Rex before she went on. He didn't say anything; just unconsciously nodded as to the accuracy of Alexandria's commentary.

"In the beginning, you didn't think much of it." Alexandria continued. "Oh, that's kind of cute; little young-ling's got a crush on me. I'm even flattered in a certain way. After all, how many Jedi actually respect us; none to say look up to us" Alexandria poked Rex. "Expendable clones." She said rather pointedly.

Rex just stood there looking a bit shocked by the comment about respect for "expendable clones". I suppose, of any of the two standing here, he would know more about the gap of regard paid on the battlefield. Wages rendered in lives of real men that is. Than here was Alexandria, brazenly pointing out the fact that we were not the only ones who recognized this? Especially of late too, none the less. Has she figured out what's going on? My mind began to wander a bit.

"When this all started, two or more years ago; you figured you could handle it." Alexandria continued, as she glanced at Rex and than turned to me. "You know; the big tough Captain who leads missions and blows up lots of clankers." She nodded and rapped the knuckle of her index finger on my armor before she turned back to Rex. "You surely can take care of this too? Right?" She folded her arms, cocked her head and just looked at him. Rex glanced over at her and than turned away from us. He folded his arms and just stared down the hall way.

"But it really _**is**_ more complicated than that; isn't it?" I interjected, as a revelation suddenly dawned. Things just weren't the way they were _**suppose**_ to be! The Jedi in control, me, the crying trooper, force sensitive clones, the Padawan and of course Cody? (Who apparently was right all along. The whole Republic _**had**_ gone crazy!)

Alexandria turned and looked at me; clearly not expecting _**clone chick here **_to set forth this observation. I peered back at her, still seeming lost in her confusion. Her public Jedi image looking so cool, collected and..._** "unattached"**_. A tiny whiff though and the faintest flash of terror in her eyes.

"Hum." She nodded patiently as she sucked in a calming breath. The truth being told though... _**They are no longer in control of this game!**_ My eyes drifted toward Rex.

"Of course it is!" He snapped as he turned and looked at me. "She saved my life on more than one occasion." He continued, trying not to stumble over his words. "Fist time it happened; surprised me." He hesitantly confessed as he peered down the hallway; seemingly awaiting someone to show up any minute now. "Never expected it, not to say understood why?" Rex turned back to me.

"She had whole squadrons that ended up getting killed." He began to expound more freely. "Yeah, she felt bad about it; but that was based more on her own reputation and making... Sky-Guy proud!" Rex paused a moment, visibly surprised at the deriding jeer that had suddenly slipped from his lips. "It didn't seem to me that she sincerely looked at these clones lives as being genuinely meaningful; or at least at first..." Rex's voice abruptly trailed off as if he'd hit some mental wall. I just looked questioningly at him, only than realizing something had snapped in Rex.

"Well, things changed." Rex suddenly reverted directions, apparently outwardly shaken by this certain revelation we all seemed to be sharing. "Err, or at least I'd thought they had?" He glanced at me, as if though grasping for some understanding as to what was really going on. "Do they really care or are they all that... unattached? I don't know anymore." He blurted out in a rather wounded tone, before he hastily put his hand over his mouth. He glanced apprehensively at Alexandria. Should I let go of the pretext or not? His eyes seemed to be questioning.

"Sorry Ma'am." Rex quietly apologized... _just in case_?

"No, don't apologize for being correct." Alexandria suddenly conceded with upraised hands, as we both looked at her and she nodded in her own acknowledged shame.

"You have a right to be treated as more than those who were born just to die." Alexandria paused a minute. Obviously what ever _"it"_ was; she got it! "After all, you _are_ the one who's told his squad on more than one occasion - that they had to think for themselves; Right!" She nodded in affirmation.

Rex just stood looking a little surprised. You noticed that? His expression seemed to say.

"Yes I did!" Alexandria completed his thought. "I feel like I need to apologize to you Captain." She continued on with a regrettably heavy sigh. "This order owes you clones more respect than we've ever had the humility to give!" She confessed. "I get that. Believe me; I get it."

"So you do really care about us?" Rex mumbled, trying to mask his suspicion as his attention drifted in my direction.

"She actually asked me that earlier today." Alexandria responded as she gestured at me. "Do I love my men?" She reiterated an earlier question of mine. "Jedi are suppose to show compassion; but not form attachments?" Alexandria looked directly at Rex. "May sound wise on the surface; but I don't think one comes honestly without the other." She folded her arms and sighed. "The problem isn't attachments." She clarified. "It's knowing when and how to let go." Alexandria gazed earnestly at Rex. "Now that's real love." She said as she leaned over toward Rex and began to whisper. "And that I learned from a clone!"

Rex just cocked his head and gazed back at Alexandria a moment, looking as if he really wanted to believe her; but wasn't sure if he should. The moment suddenly struck me as odd? Maybe I am right? Maybe there's a _**whole lot more**_ to this story than meets the eye? I just wish I knew what it was? My thoughts began to escape me again.

"Well, uh; Speaking of Jedi and love!" I impulsively gestured down the hall at our expected guest, who'd now made her appearance. My fantasizes ran away with me and I started to giggle. I slapped Rex on the shoulder and knocked my forehead against his bell a few times.

"Let me guess?" I heard Alexandria comment as they both let out a chuckle and I felt Rex move. He gingerly put his arms around me, patted my back and than kissed the top of my head.

"Hey!" I suddenly looked up at him as I could hear Alexandria chortling.

"Please don't hit me." Rex smirked, trying to look a tad intimidated.

"_**Captain Rex!"**_ A rather angry sounding voice rang out from down the corridor.

Ut-oh! Rex and I both looked at each other momentarily before I burst out laughing. A pair of furious feet raced down the hall and before we knew it, Rex was being hustled away.

"General Kanobi and General Sky-walker are waiting for you!" Ashoka scolded him.

"Well you can tell them it was my fault; I'm the one who kept him here." Alexandria interjected.

"Yes Ma'am." the Padawan said politely as she glanced at Alexandria, glared at me and then looked a bit worriedly at Rex.

"Oh good! There you are!" A fifth voice chimed in from the other end of this now impetuously busy hallway. It was Obi Wan Kanobi.

"I was just retrieving him; sorry we're late Master Kanobi." Ashoka announced.

"No actually, I was looking for Alexandria." Obi Wan corrected this apparent miss communication. "But since Rex is here too; that's good. I only have to explain this once." He continued as he hurried past where the young-ling had removed Rex to, over by where Alexandria and I were still standing. "Come here Captain." He gestured at Rex.

"Yes Sir." Rex obediently followed, as Ashoka tagged behind him. She being obviously pleased with the view before her. I cleared my throat from as controlled of a snicker as I could manage to veil. Rex shot me one of those looks. Apparently, I wasn't the only clone who had difficulties contending with the interests of others as to what exactly was under my armor.

"We have been called in from the outer rim here." Obi Wan began to explain. "The Resolute is headed back to Coruscate; but I don't want to leave you without adequate support Alexandria." He said as he turned to her. "So I'm leaving you Rex and a couple of squadrons. He's good with these droid factory quagmires and I know he will be in good hands with you." Obi Wan nodded to Alexandria.

"Yes, Thank you Obi Wan." Alexandria nodded back with a smile.

"And Captain, I don't what you coming back with any... _surprises!_" Obi Wan pointed at Rex and smiled as his eyes drifted toward me. He paused a minute, raised an eyebrow to Alexandria and then looked back to Rex.

Rex just stood there seeming a bit confused.

"Not as sly as Cody. Maybe that's good." Obi Wan chuckled as he winked at Alexandria.

"Oh I wouldn't say that!" Alexandria interjected as she folded her arms and grinned at Obi Wan. "You weren't here a minute or so ago." She said with a knowing nod. "And _he_ didn't get slapped." She whispered an aside.

"Oh!" Obi Wan made a surprised face. "Hum." His eyes drifted over to Rex as he nodded again and then turned back to Alexandria. "Like I said before. You're a much better expert at these..._situations_, than I!" He whispered back.

Alexandria just glared at Obi Wan as he turned to leave.

"Coward!" She mumbled with a snicker.

Obi Wan glanced back at us and just let out a little laugh.

"Rex, you're officially under her command as of..." He pointed to his chrono. "Now!"

"But Master Kanobi!" We heard the Padawan protest as she hurried down the hall after Obi Wan. "What about..."

"What about... _what_ Ashoka?" He tauntingly chipped as they turned the corner.

"He's bad." I mumbled to myself as Alexandria put her hand on my shoulder and started to giggle.

"Well, you don't get to be a master Jedi without well honed observation skills." Alexandria said to me.

"As in a hundred and fifty ways to piss off a Padawan?" I inquired.

"No, the bulk of that accomplishment fell upon your shoulders dear." Alexandria replied as she wagged her finger at me. "A few innocent giggles can be dangerous around here." She chuckled as she sauntered up to Rex and gingerly put her arms around him. "Ooooh." She cooed as she hugged Rex; who now looked a bit mortified. "I'm too old for this to be plausible; aren't I?" Alexandria laughed as she looked up at him and then slapped him a good one on the chest. Rex finally cracked a smile.

"Guess Cody's right" He added dryly. "The whole Republic has gone crazy!"

Alexandria just looked up at him with a flash of nervousness and then simply started laughing. "Yeah, probably!" She concluded with a goofy expression before we all returned to our former 'status quo'.

"Well, I have other things I need to take care of now!" Alexandria commented as she checked her chrono. "I want you to go change though." She pointed at me. "We have to send you on a particular mission and your dearest fellow beloved needs his armor back." She said as she cracked open the door to her quarters and shooed me inside. "Rex, I want you to go to the flight deck." I heard Alexandria continue as the door clicked behind me.

I hurriedly changed armor before I walked over to the refresher and quietly knocked. The distraught brother who'd been hiding in there for the past 20 or so minutes peeked out.

"Here" I whispered as I handed him the duffel bag with the armor I'd just exchanged. He took the bag and quietly closed the door. A few minutes later; he handed it back to me.

"I think I'm ready." I mumbled as I slipped back out into the corridor.

"Instant shinny!" Rex chuckled as soon as he saw me.

"I will take that." Alexandria said as she grasped the shoulder strap to the armor bag and slung it over her back.

"I can carry it Ma'am?" Rex politely offered as he went to assist Alexandria.

"No, I got to hurry up and get this to someone." She told him. "You two go; before the other guys leave on my transport. I'm going with Philadelphia." Alexandria said as she rushed us away.


	10. Chapter 10 The Heart of Captain Rex

_**The Heart of Captain Rex:**_

We headed down the hall toward the flight deck. I paused a moment before turning the corner to put my helmet on. Rex stopped and gave me another funny look. Yeah, I know why you do that. _I could just hear his thoughts in my mind._ But everyone's going to think we're weird, wandering around the interior of this ship helmeted. He let out a sigh, shook his head and then begrudgingly pulled his own helmet on.

"I got an idea." I heard his voice through my com-link. "We can go up through the machine and the engine rooms. It's really loud in there and everyone wears helmets. No-body will look at us funny." He chuckled.

"OK" I responded as we turned up a shorter hallway and then began to ascend the ladder that sat halfway between us and the corridor's end.

"Bet you'll be glad to get off this ship for a bit?" I offered to Rex as we started climbing.

"Uh, yeah." He hesitantly responded. "But it's not permanent." He muttered rather gruffly. "Can't run away from your problems. Got to do something about them." He told me.

"Well, this is true." I concurred. "But sometimes you need space to do that."

"I suppose." He agreed. "But I owe her more than this." Rex mumbled quietly. "I mean, who in their right mind sends a 14 year old girl into the middle of a war?"

"Same people who send 10 year-old boys in 20 year-old's bodies!" I responded.

"Or breed 10 year-old girls in 20 year-old's bodies!" Rex countered rather dryly.

"Well, yeah." I sighed as we reached the top of the ladder. "I suppose "mature clone", is most certainly an oxymoron; is it not?" I glanced over at Rex who was about to enter a set of very large heavy metal doors. He stopped and turned to wait for me.

"Even though everyone looks at us like we're adults; and maybe in the most rudimentary sense of the definition we are?" I went on. "But all of those aspects of our persons that were never allowed to develop, have left most of us as anything but fully grown _**or**_ mature." I concluded as we began to transverse a machine shop that was humming with robotic arms assembling parts to who knew what.

"Yeah, but that's people's hypocritical prejudice though." Rex murmured in response as he began to ascend another ladder to a catwalk that spanned the length of the shop.

"If anybody caught the two of us in some dark corner somewhere; no-one would care. They're clones, let 'em have each other; but Rex what are you doing screwing around with a 15 year old Padawan?" Rex suddenly stopped a minute, seeming a bit shocked and totally revolted by what had just come out of his own mouth. "Even though I didn't do anything!" He protested with a rather loud gesture of aggravation.

"Yeah, I know." I looked directly at him as he slowly turned around. "I believe you!"

"You do?" Rex peered at me in shades of veiled uncertainty. Odd as it was, I didn't need to see his face to know the expression on it. His lone figure with cocked head staring at me from the midpoint of this catwalk, as huge sparks jumped and arched over us. For what ever reason that moment got caught in my memory like one of the pieces of flying metal the industrial maintenance droids scurried across the production floor to scoop up.

"Yes I do!" I reiterated as I approached him. "I don't know if I can explain how I know you're telling the truth, but I know you are." I told him as we stood there in the middle of the catwalk momentarily surveying the machinery below us. "I guess I've learned a few things about clones since I left Kamino." I chuckled with a bit of irony.

"You mean you've learned a few things about yourself!" Rex humorously declared.

"Yeah, that too." I chuckled as we headed toward the other end of the shop again.

"You know I've watched every single brother I've met." I expounded a bit further. "And once you all got a good look at me and realized I'm a female one of you! All the sudden a light bulb goes off. I don't really understand it." I admitted. "But it's like; Oh, now there's a part of life I know absolutely nothing about, because I've spent all of mine learning how to fight this damn war!"

Rex started to laugh. "You're very observant." He said as he turned to me. "And you're so much like the rest of us, that anyone we've just passed in the last 10 or so minutes, would never guess you're anything but just another shinny!" Rex paused a minute before turning to continue our travels.

"But what's inside the armor makes a world of difference and I don't just mean physically." He sighed.

"Well, what do you mean than?" I inquired as I padded on after him.

"I'm not sure." He hesitantly admitted. "It's like you're the missing part of us. The piece that was really meant to be; but it never turned out that way." Rex paused a moment and shook his head. "A different type of clone; made from one of us though."

"I don't really understand biology." Rex admitted. "I'm a soldier, not a geneticist; but I did hear Obi Wan talking to Alexandria about this pilot genetics breeding program. He asked her how can they cross organisms of the same genome without major genetic deficits surfacing?" Rex shook his head and laughed. "Alexandria said that if there were no deficits, than in theory a perfect genome would only create genetically stronger offspring." Rex glanced back at me and shrugged.

"Obi Wan just kind of cringed and said something to her about some sociological phenomena he dubbed as 'incest taboo'." Rex just shrugged again as he continued to walk. "She only said that she didn't think the Kaminoans were particularly concerned about that and judging from our, (us clones) reactions to each other - we don't seem to be either." Rex stopped a moment and turned around again.

"I don't know; maybe I just don't get this?" Rex shook his head and sort of threw his hands in the air. "Yeah, maybe in some ways you're my "sister"; what ever that really means." He laughed. "But I see you as more a part of me. It's like you came out of me; although not of my own doing?" Rex cocked his head and looked at me. "We've never met each other before this, but I feel connected to you and in a way I don't feel connected to my... _brothers_." He let out a sigh. "Does that make any sense?" He looked inquisitively at me.

"Yeah, I've wondered that myself." I sighed too. "Salam was the first other clone like us I'd ever met, other than Boba Fett; but Boba was different. I'd grown up with him." I paused a minute and gave Rex the same inquisitive look he was giving me. "I'd spent a lot of time with Boba Fett when I was younger. He really was my "brother" in a lot of ways; but I never saw you guys that way." I explained, as Rex turned to continue walking.

"I don't know if it was because I'd finally figured out what the Kaminoans were planning on doing and because of that; I just could never look at you as "brothers"?" I shook my head as I began to follow him again. "But when I first encountered Salam; kind of like you said - I felt drawn to him." I shrugged. "Maybe it was more curiosity? I don't know; but I felt like that's who I'm suppose to be connected to. I can't really explain it either." I admitted. "But from the start I realized I liked him; like we were made for each other." I suddenly paused as a light bulb went off in my head.

"Bone of my bone; flesh of my flesh." I mumbled to myself.

"What?" Rex said as he stopped to wait for me before descending the next ladder.

"Oh, it's part of the creation lore the guys on the planet had told me." I answered. "Adam and Eve. The story goes that she was actually created from his body. He'd said she was the flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone." I started to chuckle. "I guess in my case I'm - clone of his clone."

Rex gave that a long thought and then let out a laugh.

"I think that's why I like you so much." He said. "You understand us. You know what it's like to be one of us and you don't seem to think we're all disgusting." Rex paused a minute. "Unfortunately though, there's only one of you." He sighed a burdensome sigh. "Frustrating!" He mumbled as he took a flying leap off the ladder.

"Well, there are other possibilities; aren't there?" I inquired.

"Like what?" Rex shot back. "I don't know anyone else that I'm not in some way, shape or form under their command and I don't particularly desire to get unduly friendly with Cody." Rex shuddered. "I've known brothers who've done that, but I think it's just disgusting!" He muttered.

"After what happened in the weight room last night; I'd venture to say you wouldn't be Cody's first interest either." I cringed with a chuckle.

"Well that's a relief!" Rex said rather dryly. "Not like I need another unwanted admirer." He glanced back at me and shook his head.

"Yeah, I understand that." I tried to gingerly inquire. "But really, what of this Padawan? She seems to me like a nice enough person?" I offered. "And she's not going to be a young-ling forever."

"Yeah, but I'm tired of being a commodity." Rex answered. "Of both her and Anakin; I guess all I really am is just the trophy clone. The pet; the one who gets passed around the counsel - oh look at the success we've had with this one! Even though I think Sky-walker really cares; he's to occupied with who knows what ever else?" Rex suddenly stopped, seemingly to ponder that one a bit longer.

Hum? I thought to myself as recollections of all the former conversations and events played in rewind through my mind. Is there something else he knows? The question floated by.

"All the rest of them have lives to go back to; but even if I survive this war, what have I got?" He quietly mumbled. "Eventually being sent back to Kamino to be Euthanized?" Rex paused for another uncertain minute and glanced back at me. "Then to let myself get sucked into having sex with this girl? Just for once in my life, I want something to be my decision; not someone else's." He let out a long sigh.

"What?" I suddenly stopped to readjust my hearing. "Is that really what's happened?" I asked.

"No." He answered. "At least not yet." He mumbled in a rather despondent tone. "How much longer though; I don't know." Rex stared at the floor as he kept walking. "Least I could say I knew what it felt like before some clanker blasts a hole through me." He let out a stymied chuckle.

"Yeah, but do you really want to purposefully go do something you know you're going to regret?" I inquired as my mind tried to pull all these pieces together. Man this really is bigger than I could have ever imagined. I shook the uncertainty away.

"Maybe I'm just coming from a different perspective, because I'm a girl and all; but I'd rather never know than find out that way!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Rex begrudgingly agreed. "Not really that important at this point."

Well, maybe not? I questioned myself as we walked quietly down the next hall before turning another corner. I stopped when I heard what sounded like a small sniffle.

"Rex, are you crying?" I suddenly inquired. He didn't answer; but then I heard his com-link click off.

Not sure what to do next; I figured the best course of action was to just keep following him and wait until he broke the silence with some form of exchange. I wondered what he was thinking and whether or not any of this 'strangeness' made more sense to him than it did to me? After all, Rex was a smart guy. I figured he had to have been able to piece a few of the ends together.

We walked for another five or so minutes before Rex turned down a corridor offshoot and disappeared behind a massive metal black box. I paused a moment before I crept around the huge doors that hung open in the front of this container. It was empty and sat half cockeyed on it's casters just outside another massive set of metal doors. The sign on the wall read:

Armory, Aft Entrance, Delivery Only, Restricted Area, Do Not Enter

I peeked around this massive box; which I now assumed to be some sort of munitions locker. Wedged between it and the rear armory door was Rex. He let out a sigh as he pulled his helmet off, tossed it on the floor and leaned against the wall.

"Hate it when this happens." He mumbled as he gazed up at the circular light who's bulb protruded slightly from it's socket. I quietly removed my own helmet as I stood there, watching and waiting while Rex wiped away his tears with the cuff of his jumpsuit. I carefully slid my helmet onto one of the munitions locker's shelves.

"Usually only gets me when I think too much about brothers who've died." Rex sucked back in a sob or two, although he couldn't prevent the tears from escaping. "Maybe I should just say goodbye now, before you disappear just like everyone else...I ever cared about." He whispered, then gasped and began to cough.

I just stood a moment, seemingly peering through a corridor at the mirror image of another science experiment gone terribly wrong. Oh to wound a soul-less clone. The tears began to drip out of my eyes too as I suddenly felt the profound sadness that seemed to permeate this army.

"Rex, what happened?" I asked, attempting to prob through the murky waters of confusion that beset all of us. "You'd said back a while ago that you'd thought things had changed? Something about this Padawan caring and saving your life." I paused a moment. "So what changed?"

"I don't know?" Rex began to cry again, obviously hurt by some sudden switch in the 'attachments' of his own life? "Something someone said to her." He paused a moment to suck back another sob. "I guess." He mumbled.

"Said to her?" I looked at him a bit perplexed. "You mean the Padawan?"

"A..ah..Ashoka." Rex whispered, wincing in some flash of emotional torment. "Her name's Ashoka." He peered at me.

"Well, OK Ashoka." I shrugged. "What'd someone say to Ashoka?"

"I don't know." Rex wept. "Something about us clones." He sighed in befuddled aggravation. "About a month ago someone had warned her about... about us?" He angrily railed on with clenched fists. "She said she didn't believe it; then Cody did something stupid!" Rex shook his fists in the air and then grabbed the back of his neck. "Well, stupid and... weird." He mumbled.

"Something about 'Enemies of the Republic' and he popped off a couple of rounds at a halo image of her and Skywalker." Rex rambled on. "Something's wrong with Cody! I don't know what it is, but he hasn't been acting right for weeks now? He keeps going to medical and getting these shots; but he keeps slipping. It's like he's losing his mind?"

"Hum?" I folded my arms and looked at Rex.

"Yeah?" He fired on. "I went in there when I heard the blaster and she got these big saucer eyes; like _**I**_ was going to kill her. Then she just ran off?" Rex flinched in anger before taking a moment to compose himself again.

"When I finally found her, she asked me about training on Kamino and what 'enemies of the republic meant'?" Rex shrugged. "I just told her that we were all trained to kill anyone who was deemed an enemy? Then she asked me about Jedi and I just said Yeah, if you were ever deemed an enemy." Rex tossed his hands in a confused shrug. "But I couldn't ever see her betraying the republic?" Rex shook his head and flashed a troubled look.

"Then she said "I guess you really haven't changed have you?" and ran off!" Rex flipped his arm through the air in an... almost obscene gesture. He stood for a moment grumbling before he'd managed to reel in this torrent of emotions. He took a couple of deep breaths, cocked his head and looked despondently at me.

"Then 'bought a day or so later, she come back following me around, like nothing happened and..." Rex took one last deep breath. "That's when the ... flirting, ah - got real bad." He flashed a grimace of mixed confused hopelessness and then covered his face when he began to blush. "She... she..ah, touched me a couple of times." He mumbled from behind embarrassed hands.

"Well, that's kind of weird?" I commented with one raised eyebrow, as I cocked my head and looked at Rex. "She'd never done anything like that before?"

"No." Rex silently indicated, his hands still over his face.

"So why would she start now?" I flashed Rex another bewildered expression. "Especially if she's suddenly afraid of us for some reason?"

"Well, I donno?" Rex shrugged as he dared to peep out from behind his discomfort. "Unless she too now is afraid of dying and missing out on something; but that's so unlike her?" He paused another moment, trapped somewhere between his own anger and profound confusion. "Err, maybe she somehow thinks that's gonna prevent her from getting killed?" He whispered to himself.

"But you wouldn't kill her. Would you?" I flashed Rex the eye, just to make sure.

"No!" He objected without question.

"Well, I don't know then?" I shrugged thoughtlessly. "Just give her what she wants; I guess?"

"I.. I c..can't do that." Rex stuttered a bit before he suddenly turned around, seemingly attempting to wedge himself between the bulkhead and the munitions locker. He began wiping his face and head, then did a funny little... wiggle and began pulling on his utility belt and pelvic armor.

I just took a cautious step back to give him the...ah, room - he apparently needed right now. Rex took a couple of deep breaths and smacked his face up against the cold metal back of the munitions door a few times. He paused a moment and then turned around. He seemed to have forgotten I was standing there, but the expression on his face betrayed him.

"So you do love her." I whispered.

"NO I DON'T!" He suddenly hollered in a flash of rage. "Only love I've ever known is... is...you guys." He gestured at me. "You know; the brothers!" He declared as he pounced a brotherly bear hug upon me that nearly knocked both of us down and then began to... cry.

"Rex, relax." I tried to calm him in a nervous whisper; (once I'd regained my balance). "Us... uh, brothers...Yeah, we're here for you and, Uh... I'm apparently not going anywhere in at least the next five minutes." I mumbled as I let out a deep sigh.

"Thank you for being a sister." He murmured in return. With his face buried in my collar, he began to sob. I just reached up and gently patted the back of his head.

I stood there observing the little details of what was right before me; all the sudden wondering how I got here? It was like one of those surreal dreams where time seems to stop and life passes us in slow motion. I looked at the chipped paint of Rex's dented and distressed armor, the stitching on his collar and the bleached stubble on the back of his head. All of which was under-toned by the pink of his now flushed skin. I watched the sweat run down his neck and I could smell him; just like the funny combination of metal and explosive residue that was emanating from the box next to us.

The sound of his sobs sent my mind off on another tangent. Yeah, things _**are**_ complicated right now and much more so than any of us maybe even dared to imagine? I sighed as my mind kept trying to pack all the day's past events in neat little organized piles.

At least though, Rex was no longer willing to suffer alone. I thought to myself as memories of the trooper I'd left in Alexandria's quarters about a half hour ago flooded my mind.

I peered up at the ceiling and wondered how much time we had left; both of actual and metaphorical time? Disposable life standing in the corner of some battle cruiser floating in the space of a universe bigger than I could even imagine. If there is actually a God out there; how is he? she? it? even capable of knowing we actually exist? Or maybe we don't exist? My mind began to wander.

"Captain?" I heard a male voice inquire.

"Captain Rex?" It said again.

Hum, that's weird? I thought to myself as I turned my head to see where this voice was coming from. The Jedi Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ashoka Tano were standing right next to the door of this munitions box. Suddenly the question of whether or not we actually existed became a quite fleeting one; for if we didn't, we wouldn't be in trouble right now!


	11. Chapter 11 The Emerging Darkness

_**The Emerging Darkness:**_

_**Day 22:**__** 4 AM**_ _(I'm up again. I can't sleep. I must be driving poor Salam crazy! )_

Well, as it turned out, neither Rex nor I ended up being in trouble. Despite the awkward situation being 'troublesome' to explain; Sky-walker took it quite well. The Padawan; well, that's a ..._ complicated_ story! I must say though, in her defense; she was very helpful to me personally.

One of the things Obi Wan and Anakin had arranged for our unit, was to requisition some additional supplies from the Resolute's Quartermaster. Ashoka had eased some of my discomfort in trying to obtain some 'girl things' I'd need soon. She took me back to her quarters and gave me a few boxes of brand new 'girl things'.

"Here." She said. "Another Jedi had given these to me. She told me they are good, especially when you get stuck in a place where there's no supplies." Ashoka mumbled as she pulled several small boxes out of one of her drawers.

"They require laundering." She sort of cringed and then let out a thankful sigh. "I've never needed to use them though; but I think they'd be good for you, since you guys are sort of stuck living off the land down there." Ashoka smiled as she piled several of these small boxes into my arms.

"These kind of supplies are hard to come by around here." She commented. "They aren't on the normal list of things that can be requisitioned from the ship's supply room." She giggled as she searched around for a bag to put them in.

"Obviously the boys don't need them; nor would most of them even know what they're for!" She looked at me with an expression that half bordered on pity and gratitude that she wasn't in my predicament. Glad I'm not the one having to try and explain to your brothers why you bleed every month. Her eyes seemed to be saying.

"Well thank you for your help." I told her.

"No problem." She grinned as she tied the handles of the bag together and handed it back to me.

I put my helmet back on before we reentered the corridor. Ashoka made a quick survey of the hall before she motioned to me that it was safe to come out. I guess she herself was concerned about the opinions of others who may have thought she had some shinny stashed in _**her**_ quarters. The dynamics on this ship are, at the very least.. interesting. I thought to myself as I followed her back to the supply rooms to help some of the other men from my unit load our transport. I got some glares from several of the brothers we'd passed along the way.

"Stupid shinny!" They'd laugh.

Stupid shinny yeah! I smirked to myself as my thoughts rambled on. Ashoka, I wonder what you may know? I pondered as I tried to imagine what it would be like to be her? What goes through the mind of a Padawan who is caught somewhere between her order and this army? Do you love Rex? I found myself asking her.

Ashoka suddenly stopped and turned around. Her eyes seemed to be searching for something. She steadied her hand on her light-saber, just in case.

"What's the matter?" I cautiously inquired as I instinctively too reached for a pistol, I suddenly realized I didn't possess. That's not very comforting. The thought passed. God what do I do now? I cringed in apprehension.

"There it is again." Ashoka mumbled as she quietly un-clipped her weapon.

"What?" I whispered.

"I think someone is following us." She confided as she surveyed the corridor behind me and the bulkheads in our immediate surroundings.

"Disturbance in the force?" I commented as I peered around myself. I didn't feel anything; but that didn't mean much.

"No, not like a disturbance." She replied. "More like a haunting?" She interpreted, as she peered up over us and all around. "It's like that creepy feeling of silence once a battle is over." She paused a moment and looked at me. "I keep feeling... a clone?"

"Like a ghost?" I asked.

"I don't know?" She gazed inquisitively at me. "Keeps asking me about Rex though?" She raised an eyebrow. "No, couldn't be." She suddenly shook her head in dismissal of what ever thought had just been there.

"What?" I questioned.

"You guys aren't telepathic." She started to laugh as she holstered the light-saber and started to walk away. "It's nothing." She reassured herself.

"Well, OK?" I shrugged as I continued to follow. I wonder if it's me she's sensing? I kept thinking as we journeyed along. Interesting, and she doesn't seem unnerved by all of this? I wonder what that could mean? Dark feelings suddenly filled my soul. No, she wouldn't go there; would she? No, can't be. Rex seems to trust her and he's got a good head on his shoulders.

I paused a moment to see if I could figure out where these feelings were coming from. I tried to come to some sort of conclusion, or solution; but just couldn't think of anything. That was until someone else showed up.

"Snips, there you are? I've been looking all over for you." We heard a voice from behind us. We both turned around.

"Master?" Ashoka suddenly seemed a bit ill at ease herself. "What's wrong? What's going on?"

"I've been paging you through your com-link. Did you shut it off again?" General Sky-walker sounded annoyed.

"No, don't think so." Ashoka checked the com-link. "It's on, must be malfunctioning." She concluded as she tapped it a few times.

"Well, she has to report to the supply room." He gestured in my direction. "And you need to come with me."

"OK." Ashoka shrugged as she glanced at me and started walking toward her master. "Just keep following this hall." She waved off in the direction we'd been going. "You'll see the signs."

"Well, OK. Thank you." I remarked as I watched them scurry away. Then it suddenly dawned on me; that dark creepy feeling I kept getting. It wasn't Ashoka, it was Anakin!

Well, after a little incident in one of the supply rooms; I stayed on the transport and helped Antioch and Babylon secure the cargo boxes. It was very uncomfortable and I hated the job, primarily because all these two did was grin at me while we worked. Well, then again; at least all they are doing is grinning. I thought to myself. Although it wasn't too long before my discomfort level got so high that I put my helmet back on. If I couldn't stop them from grinning; at least they didn't have to see how much this irked me.

We were almost done loading and there was a bit of a lull in the action; so I decided to find a quiet corner to take a break. I snuck behind one box and found myself between it and a half hatched door, who's top half opened into the troop seating compartment. On the other side of the door I could hear some voices.

"Oh hello Cody." I quickly turned around when I heard Anakin.

How'd he get here so fast? I thought to myself. And isn't that weird? I pondered a bit longer. I don't feel that... darkness any more.

"Hello General Sky-walker." Cody responded. "Do you know where Rex is? I want to say good-bye to him before they leave."

"Not sure? He's around here someplace." Anakin replied.

"And you are?" I heard Cody again.

"Oh this is Shiloh." Anakin offered. "I take it you two have never met."

"Hello Commander." Shiloh's familiar voice rang through the air loud and clear. He must have been standing just on the other side of this door.

"Hello." Cody said. "So you are the other..._unique_ clone of this unit." I heard Cody laugh.

"Yes, I am." Shiloh laughed too. "If that's what you want to call it?"

"Speaking of unique clones." Cody spoke again. "Is she OK?" He inquired.

"Yeah I think so." Shiloh answered. "She's in the supply room."

"Oh good! I want to say bye to her too." Cody laughed. "I won't do anything to make her hit me this time though!" He chuckled.

"So what do you think of her?" I heard Cody's whisper. It sounded rather loud. I leaned over and peered further up at the half hatched door opening. I could see the top half of the back of Cody. He was leaning against the door. "Isn't she beautiful." He said.

"I'm the wrong guy to ask that." I heard Shiloh laugh. "But yes, for a Jango clone; she is attractive."

There was a bit of a pause.

"You calling us ugly?" I heard Cody's curious inquisition and then the titter of a smirk.

"No." Shiloh laughed. "You guys are just like my army. We all suffer more from being too common than being too ugly."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true." Cody let out a bit of a laugh. "But why'd they only have to make _**one**_ of her?" I heard him growl.

"I'm sorry Commander." Anakin's voice suddenly broke in as I could see his hand come into the door way and pat Cody on the shoulder. Cody let out a heavy sigh.

"Well I guess I'll go find Rex." Cody finally concluded as he stepped away from the door. I could hear his feet go pounding across the metal deck.

"Master, I don't get it." I suddenly heard Ashoka's voice whisper. I stretched up a hair more, then quickly ducked back down. I could see the top of her head next to the side of Anakin. "Why are they all so in love with her?" She questioned, sounding a bit exasperated. "Isn't that like..." She paused a minute. "Clone-cest?"

"Ashoka don't say that!" Anakin suddenly scolded her.

"We're _**not **_perverts." I heard Shiloh break in. "I may not be part of this clone army; but don't judge us by your own perceptions." Shiloh stated with conviction. "She's a part of them and so of course they are going to be drawn to her." Shiloh explained. "The base of our needs for love and companionship aren't any different than yours." He said. "So don't twist to evil what God meant for good, just because you don't understand it!"

There was a good long pause of silence.

"Please excuse my Padawan." I heard Anakin say with a bit of condescension . "I'm sorry Shiloh." He offered empathetically. "You're right, we don't know what it's like to be clones."

Shortly there after, they all departed. So I decided it's time I'd better get up and go see what else I could help with before we got underway.

"Oh there you are?" Babylon smiled. "Everyone's looking for you." He giggled.

"Yeah, I know." I mumbled rather dryly.

"Commander Cody is back here somewhere." Babylon continued as he walked toward the cargo hold loading dock. "He came to say bye to you and Rex and... everyone else." Babylon explained. "Oh there he is. _**HEY COMMANDER**_!" Babylon hollered with a whistle.

"What?" Cody said as he came toward us, while Babylon pointed to me.

"I found her!" He grinned.

"Oh good!" Cody's face lit up as he gestured for me to come toward him. "I wish you all the best and hopefully we'll be back this way soon." He said as he grasped my hand and gave it a shake. "Take care of yourself." Cody said soberly as he reached out and hugged me. "OK?" He smiled as he put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a friendly shake.

"Yeah." I kind of shrugged and then smiled back.

"Good." Cody said as he leaned over and kissed the side of my face. Then in a flash he was gone. I only stood there and watched him walk off.

"_**HEY REX!"**_ Cody yelled across the flight deck as his arms waved furiously over his head. Rex appeared just inside my line of sight as I leaned over and gazed in the direction Cody was waving. Cody sprinted over toward Rex and pounced a bear hug upon him.

"AYE COMMANDER!" I heard Rex holler back as Cody's exuberance nearly knocked both these men to the floor. I stood there and watched a minute as nearly the same scene played out between them, that had previously transpired between Cody and myself. Cody spoke a few minutes before he slapped Rex on the back, put his arms around him and kissed him goodbye too. Rex got a little flustered and waved Cody away. "I'LL BE FINE!" Rex hollered as Cody took a few steps backward and tossed his hands in the air.

"YOU BETTER COME BACK IN ONE PIECE OR I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THE WORST SMACK DOWN YOU EVER DID HAVE!" Cody yelled as he waved his fist in the air.

"I'LL MISS YOU TOO!" Rex yelled back, returning the same arm gesture before the two of them ran off in opposite directions. I wonder if they know? I thought to myself as the haunting premonitions now hung in the forefront of my mind. An eerie feeling came over me as I got a strange impression that this would be the last time they'd ever see each other. I stood for a few more minutes and watched as the busy flight deck was now over run with frantic clones scurrying to get out of the way, while the flight take-off alarm sounded.

"Come on!" Some one slapped me on the back and I quickly turned around. "That's our cue." Babylon gestured as he pointed toward the troop seating compartment. The cargo bay doors began to close as we hurried through the troop door. I jumped in the first free seat as Babylon stopped momentarily to anchor the half hatch. I pulled the security bar down as Babylon slid in next to me and did the same. The transport began to rumble as the pilot fired up the engines. We all dawned our helmets until the engine-man sealed the blast doors.

"WOOOO!" Everyone hooted as it abruptly got pitch black and we began to move. Then all the sudden, the deck lights came on and the compartment got notably quieter. I looked around at the seating arrangements, as I watched some of the guys begin to take their helmets off. I recognized some faces and some armor; as we Jangos weren't exactly the only ones in here. Shiloh was a few seats down and across from me, followed by a troop or two whom I didn't know and Captain Rex. Babylon, of course was on one side of me and some other soldier from the Resolute was on the other. Next to him, I noticed was Ashoka. Interesting? I thought to myself. I wonder why she's on here?

We were compressed together shoulder to shoulder in two rows that faced each other. All close enough that if we stuck our legs out, we could touch the feet of the trooper directly across from us. Some of the men were already doing this; kicking the bottoms of each other's boots. My stomach did a flip, as we rose off the deck, did a 180 rotation and shot out the docking bay into space. The commotion in the compartment got pretty loud, as people were grabbing at unsecured items. Apparently either the gravity plating wasn't working, or someone forgot to turn it on. Men were yelling to the cockpit; but all we got in response was a couple of snickers.

"Hold onto your hats!" The pilot's voice came over the inter-com. "Dampener compression problem. This ride is going to be just like old times!" He chuckled.

"Auugaarrr!" Troopers started to complain.

"Hey!" The pilot broke in. "Now at least you'll stay in your seats!"

"Yeah, like we got a choice?" Someone growled.

"Choice?" Another laughed. "Who's army do you think this is?"

"Not mine." I heard Shiloh reply.

"Sham Shiloh! I wouldn't wanna be in your army!" Another voice started to laugh. "I wanna keep my boys!"

"And why is that?" Came Shiloh's quick retort. "Not like they've seen any action!"

"WOAH!" The compartment filled with giggles.

"And how's he know that?" Came a defensive inquiry.

"Because just like me, you're a clone in a clone army." Shiloh replied. "And we all know what _that _does to your love life." Every one started to snicker.

"Yeah well, at least I can!" The other trooper chided Shiloh.

"Only soldier who boasts about the power of his... gun is one who's never fired it!" Shiloh replied while everyone else just burst out laughing as they poked and pointed at this poor brother, who was quickly losing ground in this war of the words.

"And how do _you _know I never _**fired it?**_" The trooper laughed at Shiloh.

"Because you haven't been classified STD - Decommission soldier!" Shiloh answered. "And we all know where those brothers have been." Shiloh mumbled with a sigh as the rest of the transport quickly sank into silence. Another unspoken ugly truth about this army. I thought to myself as I looked over at Shiloh; who I now knew had lived that awful reality. But at least his cloners hadn't Euthanized him. The thought drifted through my mind, as I continued gazing at him. He smiled when he noticed me.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you; says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Shiloh's quote filled the wordless air. "And I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and palmer-worm, my great army that I sent among you. And you shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God that has dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall _**never**_ be ashamed."

There was a long pause of silence.

"Amen." A quiet whisper finally broke the hush with a joyful giggle. "He who has thus shown such great love for the cosmos, that he even atoned for the cloned." The voice chuckled.

"And some of us cloned need a lot of atoned!" Shiloh laughed.

"You know it brother!" The trooper responded.

"In more ways then one." I mumbled, though mostly to myself.

I looked around the compartment at the variety of us sitting here. Some were smiling, some sitting quietly; while others squirmed in their seats. I thought about the strange premonitions myself and others have been having and wondered who upon this transport shared them? Did I dare ask? I thought to myself as I looked around some more.

"Seems awful dark in here." An unsettled onlooker muttered.

"What's wrong Captain?" A voice inquired.

"Ah nothing." Rex replied. "I mean; ahh. I just got the creeps that all." He shuttered.

"Yeah, I know. There's a lot of the creeps going around lately." The voice confirmed.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Someone else added.

"I feel fine." Ashoka broke in.

"Hum" I thought to myself as all the events of my past two days on this ship rewound in my mind. I know she knows something's up? I peered suspiciously at Ashoka. Why is she denying it? I wondered.

"Well, I don't know?" Another trooper inquired. "How do you get rid of the creeps?" He too shuttered. "I've had them for weeks now. I don't care that they are going around; how do I keep them away from me?" He let out a rather forlorn laugh.

"I know how to get rid of the creeps!" The trooper three seats down from me offered, before he suddenly broke into song.

"Be Thou my vision oh Lord of my heart;" He began. "Naught be all else to me save that Thou art. Thou my best thought by day or by night; Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light."

"Yeah, that's a good way to get rid of the darkness." Another chimed in.

"Be Thou my wisdom and Thou my true word." They both sang together. "I ever with Thee and Thou with me Lord. Thou my great Father and I thy true son. Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one."

"Thou my great Father and I Thy true son?" Another trooper interrupted. "Dudes, you're clones! You don't really have a... _'father'_".

"Well I beg to differ with you." One of the singers retorted.

"Jango Fett is not our father!" The first said.

"I'm not even talking about him." The other fired back. "The epitome of dead-beat clone army dad." He mumbled. "Wow he gave us armor. The first of which we couldn't even sit down in. Stupid Kaminoans, need a lesson in human anatomy." He started to laugh. "No, I'm talking about the God that created us. He's my Father!" He announced with conviction.

"God?" The first laughed.

"Yes, God! You mean you've never heard of Him?" The other inquired.

"Of course I've heard of God." The first responded rather defensively. "I may be a clone, but I'm not a stupid one!"

"But you still insist that the Kaminoans are the ones that created us?" The other raised another question.

"They may have engineered us; but God gave us life." A third voice interjected.

"Alright brothers, let's not argue." Rex broke in.

"Hey Captain?" One of the men who'd been singing inquired of Rex. "Are your creeps gone?"

"What?" Rex looked at him.

"Do you still have the creeps?" He asked.

"No." Rex let out a chuckle. "You guys are too entertaining."

"See, it works!" The trooper started to laugh as he looked around at his fellow comrades. "Jericho, Babylon; you all like to sing. Come on, help me out here."

"Alright, alright." Someone mumbled.

"For the beauty of the Earth." Babylon began another song.

"No, no, not that one!" The trooper objected.

"What don't you like my music selection?" Babylon inquired.

"Yeah, I like that song, but it's too abstract. I've never been to Earth." The trooper said before he started his own rendition. "For the beauty of Naboo."

"Oh Antioch come on!" Babylon interrupted. "Naboo doesn't rhyme with birth." He pointed out, as others who apparently knew the song started to giggle.

"Well alright, we'll just make up new words!" Antioch laughed as he threw his arms in the air. "For the beauty of Naboo." He went on. "For the day that they cloned you."

"Oh God help us." Shiloh mumbled as he shook his head and rubbed his fingers over his eyes. Several of the other guys though, just burst out laughing.

"For the day this war will end; I will be so glad my friend." Babylon contributed.

"_**Yeah!"**_ Antioch exclaimed.

"Lord of all to Thee we raise. This our hymn of grateful praise." Several of the men from my own unit cheered together, while some of the others from the Resolute just shook their heads and laughed.

"You guys are so stupid." One of them mumbled while the rest just laughed at him; or rather maybe laughed at themselves. Either way; I thought. It's good not to take ones self too seriously.

"Alright troopers." The pilot's voice suddenly broke the revelry. "We got a situation here. I can't get the port side ground thrusters to fire." He said. "So secure all loose articles and assume crash positions. We'll be hitting the planet's atmosphere in 4.23 minutes."

"Alright you heard him. Let's Go LET'S GO!" Rex hollered as he released his safety bar and hurled himself toward the ceiling. Several other troopers safety bars released too, as they flung and spun their way toward any door, item, or compartment that wasn't securely locked.

"DONE!" Several yelled as those of us still secured began to grab them and pull them back into the empty seats next to us.

"One, Two, Three, Four." Someone started counting the clicks of the safety bars that now held bodies again. Once every man was back secured in a seat, we waited for the pilot's next signal.

"Initiate decompression stabilization sequence 2461#" A voice came over the compartment's overhead speakers as the soldier next to the bulkhead control began frantically pushing buttons and pulling levers. _**"ASSUME CRASH POSITION!" **_The voice screamed as blasts of compressed air came shooting into the cabin. I wadded myself up into a ball, hooked my feet around the underside of the seat bar and held on to my legs as tightly as I could. The pressure suddenly dropped and sucked all the air out of my lungs. It felt like my head was about to cave in when the compartment suddenly stabilized. I could breath again, but my head was pounding. The transport rumbled and shook with a fury I'd never known before. I bounced around like a rubber ball. The force of the jolting ship kept slamming my head from one side of the safety bar to the other. Oh God! I cried as my mind drifted out of reality, just before everything went black.


	12. Chapter 12 Innocence Trapped

_**Innocence Trapped in the Darkness of Descending Night:**_

When I opened my eyes. I was laying on the ground. My helmet had apparently come off and I couldn't hear very well out of one ear. I brought my hands up to my face and noticed they were all bloody.

"It's not as bad as it looks." A voice spoke. "You got a good bloody nose and the decompression partially ruptured one of your ear drums. I guess if you want to call it that." The voice told me. "You also got a little bump on the head and probably your fair share of bruises, but other than that; nothings broken, or appears to be seriously injured." The face that was attached to the voice suddenly appeared in my line of sight. He smiled at me as he brushed my bloodied hair out of the way and began wiping my hands and face off with a wet cloth.

"Uhh." I groaned as I tired to sit up and look around.

"Maybe you just better stay were you are for now." The trooper who was attending to me suggested.

"No, I'm OK; or at least I think." I mumbled as my head began to spin. I took a minute to regain my balance and then surveyed the surroundings. The wrecked transport lay several hundred meters from me. "Everybody OK?" I inquired.

"Yeah, everybody made it; if that's what you're wondering." The trooper responded. "A couple of the guys got cut up a bit; a few got some broken bones; but everybody's alive. Thank God!" He paused a minute. "No-one was seriously hurt." He smiled and shook his head.

"Well, that's good." I replied. Yeah, thank God. I thought to myself as I watched the trooper get up.

"Here." He said as he gave me a fresh wet towel. "I'm going to go see how the other guys are." He indicated, as he gestured in the direction where several others were assembled, also trying to gather their whits about them.

"OK, thanks." I said as I watched him leave. I took a moment or two to look around me. My helmet was laying on the ground within my close proximity. I picked it up and examined it a bit. It's interior was covered in blood. I wonder if it still works? I let out a sigh and tried to shake the fog out of my head. "Oooh." I cringed. Better not do that.

I sat for what felt like hours just trying to get my thoughts back in line. God, it's the first time I'd almost actually gotten killed. I thought to myself as memories of my running through the clanker defenses rolled around in my head. What would have happened to me if I had died? I started to wonder. Is there really some other world; some after life? Do people really become 'one with the force'; or so they say? What does that mean any ways? I shook my head again. I think I'm just making my headache worse.

I took in a deep breath and looked up into the sky. There's got to be some sort of Divine Being out there; around somewhere? I suddenly realized as my eyes drifted down to the surrounding hills, the trees, shrubs, funny flowers and bitty creatures that were presently crawling across my armored leg. Yeah God, You've got to exist. I thought for a minute, as I watched the bugs on the ground. I know You do, because I sure as hell didn't put all this stuff here!

I let out a sigh, pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head down in my arms. Oh God You gotta help me. I kept thinking. I wasn't sure why I felt I needed God's help, or what help it was that I actually needed? I just felt I needed it. That sounds rather stupid. I thought to myself as I let out a sigh. Oh well. I chuckled quietly. What's God expect from a clone anyways? I laughed a bit more. "Augrrr!" I shook my head one last time. I'm gonna drive myself crazy this way. So with one last sigh, I picked my head up and decided to go find something useful to do. Usefulness is good. I said to myself. God likes usefulness.

So I spent the remaining hours of the early afternoon helping the able bodied salvage what we could from the cargo hold of the wrecked transport. Many inquired of me why I didn't just sit down and rest; I was injured. No, I kept telling them. I need something to do. Yeah, my head hurt; but it seemed my soul ached worse. The more I could do with my body though; the better the rest of me felt.

When it came time for a snack, I sat down under a tree and gobbled down several ration bars and two bottles of water. I wasn't hungry was I? I laughed to myself, as I surveyed the mess of wrappers scattered upon the ground before me.

"So how are you feeling?" A voice asked as I sat scooping up my lunchtime debris. I looked up. It was Ashoka.

"I'm OK I guess." I responded while I compacted my trash heap.

"You haven't seen a mirror lately have you?" She inquired as I looked up at her. "You're a mess!" She giggled.

"Well, I suppose I probably am." I shrugged. "But you don't look any better." I mumbled while Ashoka let out a laugh.

"Well, we can go fix that." She replied. "I got some stuff and General Alexandria said she knows where there's a good spot; so come on." Ashoka smiled as she held out her hand to me.

"Well, Ok." I half-heartedly sighed as I got up and collected my wrappers. I wasn't sure I liked this idea; but I felt better when I saw Alexandria approach. She was carrying a bag of what appeared to be extra supplies.

"Ma'am, you arrived without incident?" I inquired of Alexandria as we began to follow her down a path through some brush.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you Daisy." She acknowledged. "I'm sorry you all had such a rough go of it though." She sighed.

"At least everyone is still alive." I replied.

"Yes, it doesn't get better than that; does it?" Alexandria smiled.

"Yes, master Alexandria." Ashoka agreed as she seemed to be struggling with the underbrush. We paused a minute to wait for her.

"You OK there?" Alexandria chuckled.

"Yes, Master Alexandria. I'm fine." We heard a wee squeak from the bushes. It took a few minutes before she emerged. "Got my foot stuck in a vine." She sheepishly giggled as we all continued walking.

"What about Captain Rex; Ma'am?" I suddenly inquired. "I haven't seen him around. Is he OK?"

"Yeah he's fine." Ashoka answered rather abruptly, while Alexandria just let out a laugh.

"Yes, he seems to be fine." Alexandria restated. "He's got a good goose egg on the back of his head; but all his vitals and everything are stable. He can be woken; just keeps falling asleep again." She started to chuckle. "I think he's exhausted is all." She shook her head.

"Well here we are." Alexandria announced as she slung a bag over her shoulder and climbed up onto a large rock. "Come here." She motioned to us. "You have to see this."

"OK." Ashoka shrugged as we both began to climb.

"Wow." I whispered as I peered out over the encroachment of rocks. Before us sat a thermal spring which was encircled on three sides with towering cliffs and rushing waterfalls.

"This place is beautiful." Ashoka mumbled in awe.

"Who said the ship was the only place you could get a hot bath." Alexandria chuckled.

"Cool!" Ashoka exclaimed as she dropped her pack on the rock right where she was standing and dove in the water. "Oh it's great in here!" She yelled after she surfaced. "It's nice and warm!"

Alexandria turned to me and smiled as she gestured toward our little oasis.

"OK." I smiled as I walked over and began wading among the rocks.

"Daisy." I heard Alexandria call me.

"Yes Ma'am?" I turned around.

"I think you need to take the armor off dear." She whispered.

"Oh...yeah." I giggled as I could feel the blood rushing to my face. I turned to see what Ashoka was doing. She'd already stripped off all her clothes and was running nude through the water falls. Oh God I don't think I'm ready for this. I thought to myself as I put my head down.

I let out a sigh and peered over at Alexandria. She'd taken up residency on the rock we'd just been standing on. She was sitting, minding a data pad. I wonder what she's reading? I thought to myself as I began disassembling the different pieces of my armor and washing the blood off of them. I laid them all out neatly in the sun, so they'd be sufficiently dry when I went to put them back on. OK, next layer. I sighed as I gazed down at myself. I looked around for several minutes before I finally decided it must be safe to take the body suit off.

Well, that wasn't so bad. I thought as I sat waist deep in the warm water sloshing my jumpsuit around. My underclothes; well, that was a different story. You have to change them before you put a dry jumpsuit back on. I told myself. Yeah, I know. I sighed. I'll cross that bridge when I get there though.

"Are you ready?" I heard Ashoka's voice again. I turned around. She was treading water in the spring about a meter or so from me.

"Ready? Ready for what?" I inquired a little nervously.

"I can wash your hair." She said. "I've always wanted to do that." She laughed. "I've never really felt anyone's hair." She shrugged. "Well, sort of." She began to giggle. "Anyways." She shook her head as she swam over to the rocks I was on and began to climb out.

"You'll have to lay on your right side, so we don't get water in your injured ear." She told me while she came over to where I was sitting. "That would make you really sick." She said.

"Well, OK." I whispered as I carefully lay down and tried not to think too hard about how this teenage girl who had no clothes on was washing my hair. I closed my eyes and tried not to look at her. I could hear she and Alexandria conversing about my injury and how to best care for it. Then Ashoka put her hand over my ear. The side of my head suddenly felt warm and then I had a stabbing pain. "Auhh!" I cried as I sat up and felt something running out of my ear.

"You're OK dear." I heard Alexandria's gentle voice as she leaned against my back and held my head in her hands.

"Auhh!" I cried some more before the pain finally subsided and I could suddenly hear.

"The hole in your ear is closed up." Alexandria whispered as she came around in front of me and wiped my face with a cloth.

"Uhh." I just whined, still feeling a warm throbbing in that side of my head. My attention suddenly turned to Ashoka, who was rinsing her hand in the water.

"We... 'forced' the rest of the fluid out of your ear." Alexandria explained. "You had a lot of blood in there still. Hopefully it will heal up fine now." She smiled affectionately at me.

"Oh, thank you." I quietly mumbled.

"You're welcome dear." Alexandria replied. "Now you can go get cleaned up." She whispered as she pointed to the water falls.

"OK." I meekly complied as I got up and followed Ashoka along the ledge's outcropping to the 'shower'. With her, she carried a bottle that looked like it contained some sort of mineral oil. When she popped it open; I could tell that what ever was in there, smelled kind of minty sweet. She poured some out into her hands and then handed me the container. I watched her as she began rubbing this substance all over her face and head.

"Help yourself." She offered. "It's good for your skin and scalp too."

"Oh, Ok." I shrugged as I poured some out and began rubbing it in my hair.

"Hum." She looked at me and made a funny face.

"What?" I inquired.

"Oh nothing." She shook her head and smiled politely. "Just.. noticed you have a lot of hair." She commented.

"Oh yeah." I said as I looked down and saw my underarms. "And you don't have any." I returned her observation. "Has to make girl time easier." I mumbled with a shrug.

"Girl time?" Ashoka's expression flashed a bit of apprehension. The wheels of her head seemed to be making a mental note, of the fact that us clones apparently have more hair than she'd originally suspected. Her eyes drifted down my body and she made a curious grimace.

"Ah, yeah." I nodded and smiled.

"Oh, OK." She made another funny face, seeming like she wasn't too sure she wanted that much information. Did I have the heart to tell her that this was true of the brothers too? I thought to myself. Nah! If that knowledge she's truly serious at obtaining; probably best to let her figure it out for herself.

We finished cleaning up and headed back to the rock where Alexandria was waiting. She threw us some towels as we began to dry off and change clothes. I did notice Ashoka trying not to look to obvious, as to her curiosity about my anatomy. I attempted not to giggle too loud at the thought of her chance discovery of this fact about Captain Rex. What a priceless scene that would be! I started to laugh.

Alexandria glanced over at me and raised an eyebrow. She cracked a smile and went back to her data pad. After we'd finished getting dressed and made our way back through the brush; I'd noticed we were close to camp, as I could smell food cooking.

"Ummmm!" I let out a delighted sigh as I began to scamper up the hill past the others.

"Always hungry!" Alexandria laughed as I stopped, turned around and anxiously jumped up and down a minute or so. "If I were running around in 75 pounds of armor all day; I'd constantly be hungry too." Alexandria waved me away, as I turned and sprinted back to camp.

After such a pleasant meal; I fell asleep by one of the fires outside. It took a bit of prodding to awaken me, as I sleepily stumbled toward one of the temporary structures that had been erected to serve as housing.

"Oh no, we don't need you getting lost in there!" A voice laughed as someone grabbed my arm before I made it to the door. I looked up at this stranger, in the rising of the pale moon light. It was Captain Rex. I just sort of looked half cross eyed at him. "You don't want to sleep with my men; do you?" He inquired.

"No!" I mumbled.

"I didn't think so." He chuckled as he dragged me back in the other direction.

I have a few vague recollections of a lot of giggling before I was passed off to Alexandria and Ashoka. It had been an extremely long day. I looked at both of them a brief moment before my eyes drifted shut. Good night. I mumbled; although I had no idea to whom.

My eyes sprung open in the pitch of blackness and I sat up and gasped.

"You OK?" I heard a calm, yet familiar voice inquire.

"Huh?" My head swivelled around until my eyes came to focus on a vaguely familiar form silhouetted in the dim flickers of candle light. It was Ashoka.

"What's going on?" Was all I could manage to blurt out.

"Shh." Ashoka hushed as I could see her stretch up and put her hands on her head. "Blaster bolts!" She finally muttered. "I almost had him."

"Almost had who?" I asked.

"Cody." Ashoka let out a sigh. "He knows something, I know he does; but I can't seem to reach him." She growled in aggravation. "If I could get into his head again; maybe we can find a way out of this?"

"Find our way out of what?" I sat up in sudden interest that maybe Ashoka - of all the Jedi, had an answer to this? Yeah Ashoka, the ... at least _believed_ to be misguided Padawan; knew something after all!

"What does Cody know?" I spontaneously queried. "I think he's got to know something too." I mumbled. "Wish I knew half of what he knows?"

"Hih hih." Ashoka just laughed.

"Huh?" I just looked at her.

"Yeah Commander Cody knows something; but... he just doesn't know he knows it." Ashoka commented as she leaned over and cranked up the flame on her lantern a bit. "Trapped within his mind is something about his flash training." Ashoka continued to elaborate. "It's like a letter in an envelope that he knows is there, knows it's for him, but... either refuses, or ... can't... open it."

"Well, I remember a document I once saw about flash training and need to gage it's effectiveness, because..."

"Yeah, I saw that too." Ashoka interrupted me as she waved the information away. "The clone Captain in that document was Rex." She added. "Apparently something about his flash training either didn't go right or wasn't complete." She continued. "He wasn't ever suppose to be able to say that."

"You mean to tell the other clones to think for themselves?" I inquired, a bit confused.

"Yeah." Ashoka laughed. "You guys in some ways were modeled after the Jedi order. You weren't suppose to even be _able_ to form attachments." She let out another little tiff and shook her head. "But the Kaminoans figured out that if you couldn't attach to anything, they'd never get an actual army; So!" Ashoka declared as she slapped her hands down on the sides of her cot and stood up. "They programmed you to attach to each other and since it's quite evident at this point that there's no shortage of brothers who just wouldn't love to screw you!" She tossed her hands in the air. "Apparently they succeeded!"

"Oh, don't say that!" I shuttered in bitter anger. "That's not..."

"No, don't get mad" Ashoka interrupted again. "That's what they made you for, to test those attachments." She fluttered a hand in the air. "Don't take it personally." She told me. "I went through the same thing." She paused a moment. "Well, sort of."

"I was assigned to be the Padawan of the chosen one to test _his _attachments." Ashoka explained. "I had a premonition once though. Kind of like you guys are having now." She looked at me a moment then folded her arms. "If I stuck with Master Sky-walker, eventually he'd turn me to the dark side. Well, of course I didn't believe it." Ashoka continued. "That was until I saw Cody shoot at that halo-projector." She paused a moment. "Then I started to wonder?"

"Rex was the clone I was closest too, so I tried a mind trick on him and his flash training did reveal something about the attachments thing." Ashoka went on as she dropped her defensive stance and came over to me. "But the rest of that particular flash, I don't think was ever really completed on him?" Ashoka folded her arms and rapped her knuckle on her forehead a few times before she sat down next to me. "Then when I heard about you and Cody, I tried it on you too; but your flash seemed to be empty." Ashoka looked questioningly at me. "You never went through flash training did you?"

I just peered at her and shrugged. "I ah... I remember.."

"No they'd not yet developed a flash regimen for you." Ashoka interrupted again as she stood up and paced the floor; apparently thinking out loud. "For if they had, you would have assumed the position already." She suddenly stopped and peered apologetically at me.

"That's disgusting." I growled, as I couldn't believe she'd actually said that. I gave her the evil eye.

"Sorry." Ashoka amended. "You're right, it is disgusting; but don't take it personally." She repeated. "Your brothers being engineered to fight this war is disgusting too."

"Errm." I just folded my arms in a half regrettable, half resentful confusion. She was right on all counts. Wonder what you think of your own plight? I just raised one eyebrow at her.

"But since you too have these... unusual premonitions and Rex must have said something too you since he was so upset earlier." Ashoka mumbled as she came over to me, put her hand on my shoulder and stooped down a bit. A strange feeling came over me. Sort of like I was spinning through space.

"What'd he say?" She whispered.

"That he misses you and doesn't understand what went wrong." I mumbled as the dizzy spinning sucked me into it's darkened world.


	13. Chapter 13 The Heart of Ashoka

_**The Heart of Ashoka: **_

_**(Still ) Day 22 - 11 PM:**_ Well they are starting to hit me too now; the bad dreams. I've had two and they've been exactly the same. Dark phantoms envelop one planet after another. It is black rage and pitiless cold. The obscurity feels heavy and oppressive; like death. The icy curse sinks into my soul. I gasp for air. I keep running. Running, running to get out of this reprobate wickedness. I can hear others tortured screams. I run until I don't think I can take another step.

Than suddenly this beautiful hologram appears in front of me. It's a kindly old man who holds out his hands in offers of peace and freedom. I fall into the arms of this brilliant light. Than suddenly I feel this wind. It sweeps across me and takes this brilliant visage away with it. All I see compassed about my white armor are dark hands; black as pure evil they are. Than piercing red eyes and the gruesome scourge sinks it's teeth into my skull.

The next thing I know, I'm walking through unknown terrestrial lands; wading in rivers of blood. It is all around me; all over me and my mind is screaming to get out. Enemies of the republic, enemies of the republic. My mouth echos the chant of millions of my fellow clones, as a sea of dead bodies washes past us. We march on endlessly in this hellish eternal existence. Minds trapped in bodies we can't control.

I sit up screaming.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Voices come to my aid. Is it Salam, Alexandria? I don't know? I can't tell the difference. Just get me out of this hole; before I suffocate.

This scene plays out over and over again. Across this encampment; barracks; ships and countless planets throughout the republic. Screaming clones awoken out of the dead of sleep. Are we all having the same nightmare?

They try to clam me. Ask me what happened. But in a flash; just as quick as it was there - it's gone! I don't remember. I don't remember the dream. Fragments come through every so often. Only fragments though and distorted glimpses of my own suffering. The other clones are scared and the Jedi are confounded. What is this, that's striking us all down? Some new form of madness?

* * *

I sat restless in the quiet of the breaking dawn. The mist was rising slowly through the trees and the first rays of light were piercing the canopy of leaves over my head. It's a beautiful sight. I thought to myself as I looked around. Alexandria was back in the tent sleeping peacefully and Ashoka was apparently still awake, as her bed was void of her.

After quietly slipping outside, I stood in the nippy air and surveyed the scene around me. Some of the men were also about; stoking fires, preparing for duty, or just enjoying the quiet. This moment before the entire camp suddenly springs to consciousness in the buzz of this day's activities. I paused a moment, leaned up against a tree and closed my eyes. Oh God help me through this day. I sighed.

"Good morning." A voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned to see who it was. There stood one of the men from my unit; yet I still didn't know who he was? I haven't been around enough to 'recognize' everyone. That sounds odd, I know. How do you recognize one face in an army of clones? I giggled morosely to myself.

"You look like you really need one of these." He chuckled as he handed me a mug of café.

"Thank you." I nodded as I took the cup and my first gulp of hot frothy warmth.

"How are you?" He inquired.

"I'm OK. How are you?" I returned the courtesy.

"Had a better night than you did." He answered. "Or at least last night I did." He smiled understandingly. "That's OK though." He let out a sigh as he gave me a knowing nod.

"You have them too?" I looked at him.

"Yes." He replied, as he smiled warmly at me. "God's grace keep us through these trying times." He said as he leaned over, kissed the side of my face and than walked away. This is a strange military operation in deed. I thought to myself as I too let out a sigh. A very strange military operation. I looked around and saw a familiar face. Ashoka was returning from what ever it is Ashoka does in the primordial morning dawn.

"I see you're starting your breakfast early." She gestured to my cup of café.

"Yeah, I guess." I said as I glanced down at it and than back at her. Ashoka had managed to slip momentarily into the tent. My head still felt kind of strange as I mindlessly stared into the abyss that had been our sleeping quarters. Uug. Jedi, they give me headaches. I tried to laugh, but it just hurt too much.

"Well, are you ready to add some food to that beverage?" She lent a friendly smile as she slowly emerged with her own mug and reached out to "cheers"(fully) tap mine.

"Sure, I guess so." I chuckled with a sigh as we headed off for the mess hall.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're more awake. No more wandering into potential..._situations!_" She smiled in an attempt to make some light hearted small talk.

"Yes, I'm so embarrassed." I grimaced as I put my head down and rubbed my face. "I never figured it was possible to get _**that**_ tired." I chuckled. "Glad Rex was more awake than I was."

"He's good that way." Ashoka grinned. "Looking out for people and all."

"Yes he is." I acknowledged as we continued to walk. "You really do like him, don't you." I made a casual observation. Ashoka remained reflectively quiet.

"It's OK." I told her as I paused to open the door. "If you're worried about me; don't be" I said as we walked inside. "I'm... looking in a different direction." I smiled and than let out a giggle. "But really." I continued on a more serious note. "If you wanted to know about Rex, you could have just asked."

"Oh." Ashoka nodded a bit apprehensively as she stood there a minute or so, seemingly not sure what to say. She finally let out a sigh. "Sorry." She whispered. "Hope I didn't give ya ...ah, too much of a head ache there." She smiled hopefully before she leaned aside and gave me a friendly nudge.

"OK, I forgive you." I finally cracked a smile.

"So, who's the lucky guy?" Ashoka festively inquired in a sudden change of direction, as she grabbed a tray and got in line. I only stood and looked at her a moment. She just smiled in what seemed to me to be a sort of restrained and dispirited confusion.

"Oh, Salam." I answered her cheerful question with a little joy of my own. "He's the one who helped me with the data." I explained as we retrieved our food. "We work well together. He's very smart. You know, he thinks about stuff. We have a lot in common that way." I let out a little chuckle as I stopped to ponder a moment.

"Well that's good." Ashoka approvingly nodded as we walked over to a table and set our trays down.

"So what's your story?" I gently queried as I took a seat, momentarily glanced up at her and than surveyed my breakfast. "Why the good Captain?" I whispered as I started eating. Ashoka stood quiet for another minute.

"Oh, well he's helped me out a lot too." She finally sighed as she sat down; looking like she wasn't really sure why she was telling me this... other than within the midst of all the turmoil, we were at a loss for something else to discuss. "He's showed me how things run you know; how the operation works. I've learned a lot from him." She let out another sigh. "More Jedi need to listen to their clones." She mumbled as she too began to poke at her breakfast.

"Listening is good." I concurred with a unsettled smile.

"Yeah." Ashoka said as she looked up at me. "The guys seem to tell you a lot." She noted; a tinge of sadness still hanging in her voice.

"Yeah, I guess they do." I nodded with a whisper.

"Like yesterday." Ashoka continued. "What was Rex so upset about? I've never seen him cry like that." She looked down a moment. "Matter of fact; I've never seen him cry at all." She let out a sigh. "I wish he would tell me more." She mumbled again.

I glanced up at her a minute. She had her head down.

"Well, Rex is burdened by a lot of things." I offered, of what little I actually knew.

"Yeah I see that." Ashoka squirmed a bit. "It's so frustrating, because I know if he told me more; he'd feel better." She paused and glanced up at me. "Up until ah... a little bit ago..." Her voice trailed off .

"I mean, I'd been around for 2&1/2 years and he hadn't said a thing to me." She readjusted her...'approach coordinates' as she poked at her food a few more times. "Than he meets you and in two days he's spilling his guts. I don't get it!" She growled as she rather violently stabbed her eggs. I just sat up and looked at her.

"You care a lot about him... apparently." I made a cautious observation.

"Yeah, I do." Ashoka whispered, as she in turn looked up at me, seeming a bit surprised that I noticed.

"Than why are you so afraid of him all the sudden?" I came right out with it.

Ashoka just sat peering at me in that same forlorn confusion that seemed to be making it's rounds of Jedi and clone alike.

"I don't know." She reluctantly admitted as she finally let out a sigh and went back to eating. "He wasn't even the one who killed the holo-projector." She mumbled to herself. "Master Drupol told Rema to be careful. He says they're hiding something. They're all hiding something. Something bigger than all of us. Look out, look out... Look out for what though; what's Rex got to hide?" She continued to process out loud.

"I don't know, maybe it's just this war?" Ashoka murmured to herself. "It's dragged on for such a long time and everyone's sort of losing it now?" She nearly sniffled. "Guys complain about these eerie nightmares and they're all starting to worry about what's going to happen to them when this war is over?" Ashoka glanced up at me. "Rumors about "reconditioning" and the cost of this army? I'm sure someone besides Senator Padme' has thought about this. You're sentient beings, they've _got_ to see value in that!"

"You sure?" I looked at her, trying real hard to not let my own trepidation leak out.

"I know - I know it's bad." Ashoka tried to reassure me. "I mean I get the flashbacks too. I wake up in cold sweats. I see clankers in my sleep. Than on days when I'm so exhausted, that I can't see strait; I think their coming to get me too!" She said as she looked up one last time, searching? "No-one's walking away from this war unscathed." She whispered. "I wonder about my own future? So, I don't know who Rex is trying to protect." She let out an exasperated sigh.

"Maybe himself." I whispered.

Ashoka just sat momentarily gazing at me.

"Who's General Drupol and Rema?" A thought suddenly flashed through my mind; an inquiry about a seemingly off the cuff comment she'd made earlier. "And who do they think is hiding something? And... what, or why are they hiding it?"

Ashoka looked at me anther moment, seemingly wishing she'd had the answer herself.

"I don't know!" She grumbled in growing agitation. "I mean I know who General Drupol and Rema are... obviously." Ashoka cracked an uneasy smile. "Just lately nothing makes any sense. The guys talk about 'having the creeps' all the time, than they just look at us weird; like they're looking right through ah...a ghost?" She paused anther moment before pounding her fists on the table and than squeezing her fingers around her face. "Rema says her master thinks it's the dark side of the force, but for what ever reason none of _**us**_ seem to feel it?" Ashoka looked questioningly at me as her hands dropped to her sides again.

"Rema's a Padawan healer. She mostly works on hospital ships." Ashoka went on to explain. "She says she loves that more than anything else she's done. She spends an awful lot of time with sick and wounded brothers. "The best this Republic has to offer." is how she describes you guys." Ashoka peered up at me. "She says she'd rather be around none less - and this is how she plays out her real calling as a peacekeeper." Ashoka paused a moment. "She loves you guys." She whispered. "And in a lot of ways she's right. You _are_ the best this Republic has to offer."

I sat and looked at Ashoka for a long time. You really think so? I sucked back a tear as I peered into her big searching eyes. Ashoka broke my gaze as she took a minute to rub her hands over her own tears before she continued on with her story about her Padawan friend.

"Just watch your clones. Her master keeps warning her. They're going to start acting weird; or 'weirder'." Ashoka abruptly sat up while her thoughts seemed to break off.

"What's the matter?" I looked questioningly at her.

Ashoka shuttered.

"What's wrong?" I asked again.

"I.. ah, I just had this weird... vision?" She answered. "Like I'm standing over this vast... divide behind some large... winged creature?" She looked up at me. "It's like reality is divided into thirds? This physical world, some higher plane of existence and a... a place of utter darkness?"

"Heaven and Hell!" I impulsively offered.

Ashoka just shrugged.

"What ever it is? It shows a portal opening from the darkness and leaking... evil.. Uh into this world?" Ashoka shuttered again as a vestige of sheer terror flashed across her face.

"That's exactly what I feel!" I mumbled in reflection of her own dread.

"That's not the force though?" She muttered as her head sunk to the table and rested on her hands. Ashoka looked totally confused.

"No, it's not the force." I impulsively blurted out. "That's God, you had a vision from God!"

Ashoka just looked at me even more perplexed. "O.K." She shuttered again before she took one last breath and changed directions.

"I've heard a lot of Jedi say that all clones act weird; but..." Ashoka held in a sudden gasp as her eyes drifted down toward the table and than back up at me. "If that's what you're all feeling? I guess you're really not that weird." She stopped short and stared at me.

I only sat looking a bit skeptically at her. "So now that you've just had this... strange to you vision; you think you understand Rex?" I inquired in my own ever deepening confusion.

"Well, maybe not as much as you all understand each other?" Ashoka responded. "But I'm sure if I could just show Rex a little..." She flipped her anxious hands in the air as she searched for the words she fought hard not to choke over. "A little... love?" Ashoka stared questioningly at me. "Than he'd know I... I didn't mean it." She whispered. "I didn't mean to flip out at him."

"Love?" I mumbled, not even sure what she meant. "Ashoka?" I asked her one last probing question. "Are you sure you yourself are feeling OK? I mean, look." I offered rather frankly. "You're suppose to be his commander. He's got to take orders from you. What kind of... love are you thinking to show and is _that_ really right? I mean, all he's done his entire life is take orders. Maybe he just wants a life that's a little more... equal."

Ashoka sat there for a long time looking like she was about to cry.

"Oh but come on, you've got to see this too!" She retorted. "I know you've all spent your lives just 'following orders'; but we're all under someone's authority." Her voice trailed off to a tearful whisper. "I have to listen to my master Sky-walker. He and master Kanobi have to listen to the council. We all have to do someone else's bidding." She pointed out.

Yeah, someone else's bidding. Her words stuck awkwardly in my head.

"Yeah, that's true." I whispered in reluctant acquiesce. "But you could choose to leave the Jedi order. You could walk away from this war right now if you really wanted to." I looked at her intently. "Rex doesn't have those kinds of options."

"Well neither do I." Ashoka countered mournfully "Yeah, I could leave; but it's not like I can really get away from this war. Every where I go, it follows me; even if only in my head." She said as she put her hands over her ears. "It'll always be there. It's never going to go away. People think we're fighting for the republic; but that's not why I'm here." She looked earnestly at me. "Believe me, I gave up that notion a long time ago. I'm not here because I believe in this republic. I'm here because I don't want to leave Rex to face this all alone." She whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks.

I only sat for a long time and looked at her.

"No greater love has a man than he lay down his life for a friend." I said softly as she sat wiping her face and than just returned my curious gaze.

"I think we owe you an apology." I whispered. "At least I do." I said as her face crinkled up into a inquisitive expression.

I just let out a sigh.

"Apparently your interest in Rex runs far deeper than a mere offer of a sexual encounter." I replied rather point blankly. "You and Alexandria have committed the ultimate Jedi faux pas." I mumbled uninhibitedly. "You got attached!"

Ashoka sat quite stunned; looking as if she wasn't sure whether or not to deny or lay claim to that statement. The tears started to come again.

"I only want him to know that I care." She sniffled.

"Well, maybe you just need to tell him that." I suggested.

"Yeah, maybe." She whispered softly as she stared down at her half eaten breakfast. "That and an apology would be good." She amended.

We finished the rest of our meal in silence; only periodically glancing up maybe to see if the other was still OK. Ashoka wiped the tears away several times in the course of finishing her own mug of café.

"Well, I have to go now." I whispered. "Alexandria and Shiloh want to instruct me on what Salam and I are to do, once I cross the tinny defenses again." I let out one last long sigh before I got up. I paused a moment prior to retrieving my tray; leaned over and kissed the top of Ashoka's head. She looked up at me. "God's grace keep us all; through these trying times." I told her before I gathered my things and left.

I walked out of the mess hall feeling totally overwhelmed by the needs of everyone else. God I knew this was going to be a rough day; as I didn't get too much sleep the night before. I mean yeah; I slept, although I still feel like I've been up for three days. I complained to myself.

Still, this is better than Kamino. I thought a moment. At least _**I'm**_ the one trying to figure out _**my own**_ life; no-one's trying to figure it out for me. I thought another moment; questioning whether or not I actually had the ability to "figure it out" for myself? A sudden feverish chill ran through my body.

Maybe that's why I keep praying for God's help. I sighed.

God, You gotta know I could use it.

OK! I took one last deep breath before entering the briefing tent.

* * *

_**Another De-briefing ****note:**_

All this mental wrangling is driving me crazy. I twitch uncontrollably as I peer over at Salam, who's passed out cold on his sleeping matts. I resist the urge to crawl over on top of him and... Now isn't that a vulgar thought? I shudder in shock.

Flash training - yeah flash training. I hope Ashoka's perception is right and my flash really is empty? Tih hih!

_Anyways:_

How did I even get back here? My mind begins to flip flop amongst all the bits of information that swirled around in that mission briefing tent that day. Alexandria was a mess. Shiloh spent most of the hour just trying to calm her down and Ashoka just sat there quietly taking it all in. No body looked like they were actually... present?

Yeah, present, you know - there!

Kind of like a bunch of battle droids blindly following one after the other - strait off the cliff! Let's all plunge to our deaths in one mass GAR suicide. After all flash training has to be good for something!

Tih hih!

Now Daisy, you really are getting vulgar. Life_** should be**_ worth more than death and maybe you're not _**really**_ going crazy, maybe your _**actually**_ going sane?

Yeah, going... sane!

A sudden profound sadness erupts from deep inside this... souless clone. I put my head down and let the pain run out of my eyes. For some strange reason, it feels good. "Rivers of living water" Some odd verse flows through my mind. The tears come to an abrupt halt and I sit up.

Silly girl clone, if you can feel that - you must truly be... alive!

I teeter over toward Salam. Peering down at his unconscious form lost in his private sleepy oblivion. Sleepy oblivion. Sounds like Nirvana! I smile as I drop to my knees, snug my arms around his torso and lay my head on his shoulder.

And God if I never wake up. I won't have to worry about any of this any more!

* * *

_**Author's note:**_ Much thanks to Sachariah who let me borrow two characters from "When Night Falls" The idea that maybe a few Jedi had a bit of a warning before order 66 ever went down came to me while reading that story.

_**Thanks again Sachariah.**_


	14. Chapter 14 All's Fair

_**All's fair in love and ... rules of engagement:**_

Well, that wasn't so bad as I thought it was going to be. I sighed as I got up to exit at the conclusion of our battle strategies. My head felt so full I didn't think I could cram one more fact in there. So, I guess it's a good thing that all the facts are crammed onto the data pad. I may be apt to loose one of those facts. I chuckled to myself.

Just in case; for back up though, I did bring a note pad and took extensive details. _(Once we finally did get going that is. I think the stress was grating on all of us.)_ I sighed as I checked again to make sure I had all of my items. Yep I'm good to go. I said to myself as I walked back to our sleeping quarters to pack my things. Someone had come by and left Salam's armor for me to put on and bring back to him. I let out a giggle. It was good to see that armor again. I was in the process of changing when Alexandria came in.

"Oh good, you're almost ready." She said. "We'll go to the supply hut, get you a few things and you can be on your way." She looked at me and smiled confidently. "Give you plenty of day light. Do you want an escort until you reach the line?" She asked.

"Umm?" I kind of shrugged. "I don't know; maybe?" I let out a little chuckle.

"OK, well let me think about that. You may need one though." Alexandria pointed at me with a bit of contemplation before she headed outside.

I soon followed and we moseyed over to the supply hut. I logged in my mind all the things she told me and she kept track on her fingers all the things she wanted me to retrieve. When we got there; I paused a moment to write down what I was acquiring, while Alexandria unlocked the door.

"OK." I mumbled to myself as I followed the marked storage boxes all the way to the back of the supply room annex. "Here we are." I said as I popped the latch and swung the door open.

"_**AHHHH!"**_ I screeched as someone screeched back.

"_**Daisy what's the matter?"**_ I heard Alexandria's voice, followed by the sound of her light-saber; as she came rushing back.

"Uh, we have a... _situation_; Ma'am." I sputtered in shock as I covered my eyes and pointed behind me into the box. Alexandria paused a moment to holster her weapon, before she walked around me and peered inside.

"Oh My." She said as she quietly closed the doors.

We walked back up to the entrance of the supply hut and waited there a moment or so. Finally Ashoka emerged, followed by Captain Rex.

"Uh, I'll be outside." I quietly pointed before I made a hasty retreat.

The door banged shut and I put my hands over my mouth to try to contain the giggles. I wasn't sure if I should be laughing or crying? Was this funny or tragic? Apparently, Ashoka had taken my suggestion a step further than... either may have been necessary, or even appropriate. They were only a trice or so out from consummating their... dialogue when I opened the door. Sham! That's not an image I want stuck in my head for the duration of this war. I giggled to myself as I rubbed my face. Good thing I'm not under their command. How could you take orders from either of them with that vision rolling around in your memory? I tried to shake the thoughts away. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything to her? I pondered as I paced nervously around the supply hut entrance. I periodically glanced back at the door. I wonder what Alexandria is going to do? I mumbled to myself.

"Hello Daisy." I familiar voice distracted me from the goings on within the supply hut.

"Oh hello Shiloh." I replied as I saw him approaching with a few troopers from the Resolute. Well this couldn't get any better could it? I thought to myself.

"What's the matter? Are you OK." He inquired as I started to giggle.

"Yes I'm fine!" I burst out in nervous laughter as I covered my face with my hands and giggled myself to the ground.

"Daisy, what's so funny?" Shiloh asked as he leaned down and looked at me, while I just clung to his leg in hysterics.

"I'll tell you later!" I finally managed to squeak out between billows of laughter. "Right now." I whined. "I really gotta pee." I mumbled as I tottered away from Shiloh's knee, jumped up and went running to the latrine.

After I'd managed to compose myself, I went back to the supply hut. Alexandria and Shiloh were standing by the door, apparently awaiting my return.

"Oh sorry Ma'am." I lent an apprehensive apology. "Nature calls you know."

"That is fine Daisy." Alexandria nodded. "I just want you to know though that there are some changes in the command structure. They will take place immediately." Alexandria informed me. "Shiloh now will be in charge of Rex's men." She explained.

"Really?" I looked at her with a bit of shock.

"Yes." She nodded. "Ashoka and Rex have been relieved." She said as she let out a sigh and walked away.

I turned to Shiloh.

"I'll let you in, so you can get what you need." He said as he pulled out the keys that had been assigned to Rex and unlocked the door.

"What's going to happen to them?" I inquired as I looked over at Shiloh.

"Not sure." He responded. "I think ultimately that's up to Sky-walker, Kanobi and probably the council." Shiloh said. "I know maybe it sounds harsh for one momentary lapse of good judgement on the part of a couple of battle fatigued soldiers; but when your in command, you just can't do that kind of thing." Shiloh shook his head. "Captain Rex is her subordinate. That wasn't in the best interest of her, him or the men under them."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." I mumbled to Shiloh as I thanked him and wandered through the supply hut hunting down the items I needed. I tried to hurry, as he was waiting for me by the entrance. I couldn't concentrate though. I felt so badly. Maybe if I hadn't encouraged Ashoka to talk to Rex about how she felt; this never would have happened?

I don't know though. Maybe this had absolutely nothing to do with me? I sighed as I stuffed some ration bars, a water purification filter and a couple extra pairs of sox into my bag. So much... weird stuff has happened and it's not like I told her to go seduce him either; or maybe he enticed her? I don't know. Than again? I reasoned, what other outcome would any of us expect when feelings run that strong? I let out a sigh. I barely understood the lot of my 'brothers'; none to say, be able to imagine what some teenage Padawan might be going through?

Either way; it seems to me that she really does love Rex. Even if the feelings he has for her, so totally confuse him that he doesn't know what to do with them. You can't jump in front of a clanker to save someone's life without some sort of profound commitment to them. I thought for a moment as memories of my own hauling Salam through the brush came to mind. Circumstances of unusually high stress can create some unusually strong bonds; or at least, so as we hope it turns out that way. Without that; we _**are**_ nothing but disposable, even if we aren't clones.

I checked my list one last time before I brought my bag up to Shiloh. He began to write off of the inventory what I'd taken. He compared my roll to that the registry and handed me back my bag. After this, he followed me outside and locked the door. Well, I guess we don't have to worry about you sneaking in here with anyone. I thought to myself as I watched Shiloh fiddle with the knobs. He let out a grunt as he pulled hard on the doors and wrestled the key from the lock. Again, I thought about what he'd told me of his own past. You are a courageous soul. I sighed as he turned to me, let out a smile and than began to search for a place to stash his keys.

"So, what do you think of all this?" I asked him as we walked a few paces from the supply hut door.

"You mean Rex and Ashoka?" He inquired.

"Yeah?" I said.

"Well, I understand it." He offered. "They are both lonely, stressed and very tired of this war. We're all vulnerable creatures. We all fall sometimes. We all need grace."

"Yeah well, I just feel badly for them." I said.

"Yeah, I know." Shiloh concurred. "Compassion; it's not just for Jedi you know." He let out a laugh. We stood there a few moments, as two others from our unit approached. They were both quite well armed.

"Hello." They greeted us with smiles of delight.

"Morning Babylon and Lazareyeh." Shiloh replied. "General Alexandria send you?" He inquired.

"Yeah." One of them answered. "We're the escorts."

"Oh OK." Shiloh nodded as he held one hand out toward me. "Babylon, you already know Daisy. Daisy, Lazareyeh; Lazareyeh, Daisy." He introduced us and than proceeded to excuse himself.

"She's the clone I told you about." Babylon grinned excitedly as he shouldered his weapon. "She looks just like us doesn't she?" He giggled.

"Yeah, she does." Lazareyeh acknowledged as he turned to Babylon and playfully elbowed him. "You're in love, aren't you?" He teased.

"Oh come on stop." Babylon gave his companion a sideways shove. Lazareyeh just laughed.

"Never mind us." Lazareyeh chuckled as he elbowed Babylon again. "We're just being clones." He smiled. "No, seriously though." Lazareyeh straitened himself. "I hear you will be in our unit from now on." He said. "I think you'll like it here. We're not very large; but we're full of all sorts of... characters." He glanced at Babylon.

"I see." I let out a nervous laugh as Lazareyeh readied a blaster and then handed it to me. OK - I actually feel better now that I'm armed. I sighed.

"Don't mind him." Lazareyeh gestured toward Babylon. "He's harmless."

"He's not." Babylon snickered as he pointed to Lazareyeh.

"Oh git over here you!" Lazareyeh replied as he grabbed Babylon by the head and began knuckling him. "You know I aint in the market for any of... _that_." He let go of Babylon and than proceeded to swat at his face. "I'm just waiting for my card to be punched." He said as he slapped Babylon's shoulder, wrapped his hands around his neck and playfully strangled his buddy.

"You're card?" I questioned.

"Yeah." Lazareyeh nodded soberly. "I.. I have a fatal auto-immune disorder." He said a bit apprehensively as he adjusted his weaponry. "Medic says I probably got about 6 months left."

"Hum." I stood and looked at him as I slung the blaster over my back. I thought about the stories Shiloh had told me.

"Coruscant?" I finally inquired. Lazareyeh paused a minute, from checking his charges. He looked a bit surprised that I was privy to that information.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" He responded as he closed up his munitions pouches.

"Shiloh told me of some of the clones Alexandria had seen down there." I sighed.

"Yeah, that was me." Lazareyeh confessed. "Seems like a million years ago now." He drew in a deep breath, as he glanced thoughtfully between Babylon and myself. Than he slapped Babylon on the back and playfully strangled him again.

"How'd you get here?" I asked.

"Alexandria." He responded. "She was home on leave one time - I guess." He shrugged. "I was working a corner and she walked right up to me and said: Soldier, do you want your dignity back? I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say. Was this a joke or...? I didn't know. So I got in her hover car and eventually she brought me here." Lazareyeh smiled. "These are some of the best people in the galaxy!" He laughed as he messed with Babylon's hair.

"Hey quit it!" Babylon protested.

"He come with you?" I smiled as Lazareyeh continued to pester his friend.

"From Coruscant?" He glanced over at me. "Hell no! He just your typical, never really been away from this army... virgin clone!" Lazareyeh laughed as he gave Babylon another playful shove. "He's no less of a miracle himself though." Lazareyeh continued as Babylon stepped out of his reach.

"When Separatists first took over this planet. His whole unit got killed." Lazareyeh explained. "We found him a couple months later, crawling around on the ground like an animal eating the grass." He smiled as he reached over and swatted at Babylon. "God restored his sanity though; so we named him Babylon. It was the city of a great king, who the same thing had happened to him. He'd lost his mind and was eating the grass; but God restored him too."

"Hum." I nodded. "That's pretty amazing."

"Yeah, it is." Lazareyeh concurred as he and Babylon were now trying to pea-knuckle each other's hands. Yeah, we're clones. I chuckled to myself as memories of Cody and I doing the same to each other floated through my mind.

"So what does your name mean?" I inquired of Lazareyeh.

"Oh my name came from a town that had it's identity changed after a miracle occurred there." Lazareyeh explained. "A man named Lazarus had been raised from the dead."

"By this Jesus everyone around here talks about?" I smiled.

"Yup!" Lazareyeh smiled back. "One day soon, I too will be raised from this body of death." He joyfully chuckled. "Looking forward to it!" He winked at me.

"Hum." I thought to myself. "Well, I got to get the rest of my supplies packed." I sighed. "Shouldn't take me long." I mumbled. "So if you guys just want to wait here; I guess. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Sure." They shrugged. "We'll go sit at the table." They gestured behind them.

"OK." I smiled as I turned around and hurried back to my quarters. This time, I got the right structure!

* * *

So with that, I was off again; headed back to Salam. I periodically thought about Rex and Ashoka as I journeyed with Babylon and Lazareyeh toward the tinny perimeter. Why'd she do that? I began to wonder; or rather maybe why'd _**they **_do that _(and why'd **I** laugh so hard)_? I knew Ashoka really wasn't to blame for all of this; or maybe even any of it? Knowing what she was able to decode though, about us "weird" clones acting "weirder" - what was the point? Did she think this could some how gain more information from Rex about this ominous future we all seem so unsure of? I don't know? This may sound a little perverse but; now I'd wished I been a fly on the wall of that storage locker!

Well Ashoka, I hope you figure it out - what ever it is. I found myself almost praying to God to offer an answer. Strange as it seems, of any Jedi I'd ever figured would be able to unravel this whole puzzle - she's quickly moved to the top of the list! How ironic is that? Of all the Jedi any of us would put our most valued faith in; she's the least experienced. But I don't know, maybe Rex was missing something there when he declared his highest opinion about experience? Yes, I'd concur that he's wise to conclude that it matters above many things - most even; but in a world where ultimately the last shall be first, maybe there's a lesson here we're all missing? If so, may God bless your endeavors little Padawan!

My mind churned on as the three of us walked. It's a good thing Babylon and Lazareyeh were keeping an eye open on things; seeing how I was just too distracted right about then. Distractions are bad and I really need to get my head back into this game before I get us all shot! Even with this latent fear of tinnies, the "big one" still loomed in my mind. I really wish I could figure out what all this meant and even whether or not Ashoka's "trick" worked. Oh Daisy dear - that sounded real bad. I scolded myself. How it is there are so many things we don't ever really know the whole story too?

Well, we journeyed far into the night; with out much event when the sudden rustling of a large creature in the brush sent us all scattering. We regrouped in the cover of some rocks waiting and listening to see what it was. We didn't hear that familiar "slap slap" of tinny feet or the clatter of "rolling death" across the dusty ground, so we just sat and waited. After a minute or so, we saw something emerge from a grove of trees, transverse the path in front of us and headed to our left. We stayed hidden behind the rocks, as our white armor would have given us away.

What is it? We all looked at each other as we cautiously crept around amongst the boulders to see what had so mysteriously appeared and disappeared again. What ever it was, it was too big to be some planetary rodent and seemed to be intelligent enough to evade our curiosity. We saw a shadow duck behind some rocks when we sprung up and scrambled to investigate. It was certainly bipedal and started to run as we chased it several clicks before following it into a rock formation where it suddenly vanished!

"What the hell was that?" I heard Babylon whisper.

"Not sure?" Lazareyeh replied. "But it looked like a Geoforeian civilian to me."

"What would they be doin all the way out here though?" Babylon inquired as he stopped a moment and surveyed the rocks above us. "You ever hear of any Fonk Jedi?" He mumbled to Lazareyeh.

"Nope." Came the response.

"Well, where could he have gone than?" Came an agitated growl. "The don't just... disappear!"

We hung around "in wait" for about ten or so minutes before deciding what ever it was we'd at least _thought_ we'd seen, wasn't going to reemerge. We all stood around for a bit longer feeling rather stupid. Another case of clone troopers losing it - I guess. We all nervously tittered as we moved out again.

We traveled on another 45 minutes or so before we reached the entrance to the river bed route I'd snaked down on my way to the unit. Well out of danger of tinny sighting now; I bid farewell to the fellas to embark upon the last trek of my journey back to my shuttle and Salam. Babylon offered a quick prayer before we all went our separate ways. Well, that's good. I thought a moment. God, we _need_ Your help.

I threw my DC blaster over my back and climbed up the crag to a plateau that commenced my trail back to the ship. The moon was now high in the sky and I could see everything. The descending chill was beginning to fill the air as I stumbled wearily along my path. I pulled my helmet off and clipped it to my belt; all the while entertained by the billows of silvery breath that drifted through the air just before my face. I guess we clones are just are easily amused. I chuckled to myself as I tried to blow rings. Ert, Ert... it wasn't working.

My mind wandered off again toward Rex and Ashoka and all she'd eluded to about flash training, empty flashes, attachments and clone troopers gone weird. I wondered if she thought solidifying an attachment to Rex would prevent him from "weirding out". Was it a quest for information, a survival tactic or something else entirely? I guess in a certain sense, it really wasn't that important; other than we all had this need to know what ever that specter is that seems to keep haunting everyone? Would a biological bond actually stop it though? I wondered myself.

I tripped along the narrowing path as I peered out between the few scrubby trees toward the river ledge below me. The trail would soon be diverging again at the big rock and I'd have to scale the right crag a few feet before hitting the next plateau. With that and another 20 minute trek; I'd be back to the shuttle.

Biological bonds and empty flashes kept trotting through my mind. I'd read somewhere that doing... _that _causes some sort of chemical bond between individuals. Although I'm not sure how necessary it is? I giggled to myself; seeing how it's quite easy to become attached to someone with out ever getting_ that_ close. Still, thoughts about how it might actually feel began to creep in again. I don't know, I don't want to think about it right now. I shook the thoughts away. I just want to rid myself of this sinking evil feeling! I shuttered one last time as I climbed over the rock and onto the last ledge. I was almost there!

_**Yeah for me! **_


	15. Chapter 15 Orders?

_**Orders?:**_

_**Day 23:**_ Salam was in the refresher cleaning up as I sat pondering my medley of many adventures. Man, what ah..._wonderful _world. I chuckled to myself as my mind's eye flipped through the faces I'd encountered over these past few days.

Cody, yes Cody; I still wonder about him. I giggled a bit as his outstretched form lay on the weight room floor of my memory. He was none the worse for the wear after being "forced" through the air; although none of the Jedi ever let on to a soul what actually happened. As for the trooper we smuggled off the ship though? I think he only knew by "instinct" and the gravity of his own situation. Yeah, force sensitives who become Jedi, I think have a certain connection to each other; but force sensitive clones? That to me, seems to go far beyond "connection"; for the two, in a very real way are one flesh.

Needless to say, I'd received a couple more far less flattering nick names than Daisy the droid destroyer; but I guess that was alright in the end. It made a few of the brothers think twice before they said anything and actually helped stop two of them from trying to corner me in a storage closet. Cody and Rex came in when they heard the yelling. Cody told them that I would hurt them. Then Rex promised he and Cody would hurt them some more when I was finished. That put an end to that; but I still feel safer in this shuttle with Salam than any place else.

When I told Salam of these things; he took them all in and thought considerably about them. He apologized to me for how some of his fellow clones had acted. Not all the brothers are mentally or morally where they should be. He confessed. But I guess that's what happens when you throw a bunch of guys out on a battlefield who have no sense of personal worth. Everyone becomes disposable right along with them. I sat and pondered Salam a long time, as I tried to log and make sense of all my recent experiences and the torrent of disjointed thoughts that has accompanied them.

"That's what seems to me to be different about you!" I finally said to Salam. "You don't look at me like you're entitled to anything; despite the fact that yeah, I'm just a clone too."

"Well no, I'm not." Salam answered. "Remember? You belong to God, not me."

"Yeah, God." I sighed. "A Creator that actually forgives our disobedience?" I meditated on _**that**_ one a moment or so. "Find me a Kaminoan of like mind!" I mumbled to myself as I continued to gaze at Salam.

I wonder what he'd say if I told him _**I**_ wanted _**him**_? My mind started to wander as thoughts of Rex's frustrations with Ashoka meandered through it. Than what about her genuine affection for him? My mind tracked down a diverging road. I don't know. I don't get it. This love thing is more and more confusing to me with every passing day. I chuckled rather sarcastically to myself. Clone and love? Are they really meant to go in the same sentence?

Either way, I've been pondering now for the past few days, everything Salam had said of my precarious and even privileged position in this current order of things. That of course, provided someone doesn't turn me in and send me back to Kamino to be "decommissioned". She's run the experiment without us being privileged to the data and we find our laboratory subject has already been fertilized? Ihh, but I don't want to do that just to spite the cloners! That's rather gross. Not that I don't have other reasons; (besides curiosity) in my yearning to get _that_ close to Salam. As far as the Kaminoans go though; I owe him more respect than that!

"What's the matter?" Salam inquired curiously of my staring.

"Oh, I don't know." I finally answered. "I think I'm getting anxious." I said. "I want to do something. I think I need to go blow up some tinnies!" Salam let out a little laugh at my comment, looking as if he wasn't sure whether or not to believe me.

"All in due time." He chuckled. "All in due time."

I turned back and stared at the computer console; as what he'd just said reeled through my mind for a few more runs. I wondered if he was indicating that he knew how I felt by that comment? All in due time! Were we to ever be well adhered to each other - all in due time? My eyes wandered over to Salam; who's furrowed brow was telling me he was now engrossed in the data he was studying. Did he feel as strongly as I did? I ruminated. And if he does like me so much? Why is that? I mean you can't fall in love with someone just because they look like you; can you? I mean that's awfully narcissistic - isn't it?

But than there's Rex and Ashoka? (Not that they look anything like each other!) I snickered. I wonder if we would get in as deep of water as they? I sat on that one a minute. I don't know? Do I want to know? I questioned. But than again; we're not anyone's commanders either. Naughty clones! I giggled as I put my forehead on the control panel. Maybe I better not think too hard on this one?

I sat for several more minutes and punched some coordinates into the console, just to look like I was doing _something_. I spent the next 10 or so; (of these precious parsects of time) trying to streighten the thoughts in my head. I looked at the chrono sitting on the console. It must be Salam's, cause it's not mine! I concluded as I reached over and picked it up. Time, hum? I wondered. How much "time" have we got?

"Hey Salam?" I suddenly happened upon a spontaneous inquiry.

"What?" He answered without looking at me.

"You said you love me; right?" I nervously squeaked out.

"Yes, very much." He answered in a very calm, sweet tone.

"Why?" I asked.

Salam looked over at me and let out a little chuckle.

"Because I want to!" He said. "Love is a choice." He added. "I can decide who I think I want to extend myself too." He concluded as he went back to the data he'd been looking at.

"I like you too." He continued upon a different venue of contemplation. "Besides being kind and intelligent, creative and courageous; not to mention magnetically attractive." Salam giggled as he peeked over at me while his face turned rosy pink. I nervously glanced back at him. He giggled a bit more and than straitened himself up, before he went back to his data.

"You have a mind like a sponge." He said. "You take everything in; think about it and try to make sense of it. You're humble and teachable; very perceptive, yet fiercely innocent. Those are all beautiful qualities; but you know, I think I found you so easy to love, because you let me."

I sat up a minute and looked at Salam.

"I let you?" I cocked my head and pondered his words some more. You're awfully complex for a clone! I thought as I caught myself smiling at him.

"Yeah." He nodded as he looked up. "No matter what kind of relationship we end up having. You've taken in the care I've extended. You let me be your friend. You decided to take a gamble and trust me. That's a precious thing." He smiled warmly. "Gives me goose bumps." He mumbled with a giggle, as he too momentarily put his head on the console.

"But enough with me." He sighed as he smiled. "What is it that's making you so...?" He paused. "Passionately desirous of showering me with such great affection?" Salam let out another giggle, while he took in a deep breath and calmed himself. Than he turned back to me.

I watched him another minute or two; wondering how he could maintain such steady control. Especially considering the fact that I felt like I was about to pass out, on account of how warm I now was. I took a couple of deep breaths myself as I turned back to the computer. I can do this. I told myself. Nothings "wrong" with either of us that would make us to spontaneously act in a way we hadn't already set upon somewhere in our minds. I thought for a moment. I mean we weren't preprogrammed to suddenly attack each other in some frenzy of unbridled lust; were we? I stopped cold at that thought a minute. "You will follow every order given to you." The words so oft spoken back on Kamino floated through my memory. "Will I?" I remember asking myself; for I'd suddenly realized that I'd done something the Kaminoans didn't want. I'd found myself questioning.

A clone with a mind of my own! The premonition suddenly returned, as waves of nausea began to overrun me. Something bad was going to happen. I could feel myself starting to panic. I swallowed hard a few times, in order to try and keep the bile from burning my throat.

"Are you OK?" I heard Salam ask with a bit of alarm. "What's the matter?" He jumped up and made his way toward me as quickly as he could manage to hobble.

"Orders." I said; full well knowing I didn't make sense. "It's orders!" I repeated.

"Orders what?" He looked at me a bit strangely.

"You remember how we'd both talked about this feeling that something is about to go really wrong?" I asked.

"Yeah." He replied. "What about it?"

"It's orders!" I said. "Something about orders we've been given; or will be given." I glanced back at him rather puzzled.

"Something about our orders will go really wrong?" He clarified.

"Yeah." I answered. "I don't know what it is though." I said as I stared blankly at the computer console.

"Well what prompted that?" Salam asked seeming a bit confused. "I mean we were just talking about why it is we seem to be so fond of each other; and then you said something about orders?"

"Oh yeah." I scratched my head a minute. "You asked me why I liked you and I was contemplating how you are so... well, self controlled and thinking somewhere in the back of my mind; what about me? What do I do next? Than the phrase "You will follow every order given to you!" suddenly popped into my head and I got that weird premonition about something going terribly wrong again. What ever it is; it has to do with orders." I stated.

"Hum?" Salam looked at me. "But what do orders have to do with our feelings?" He asked. "We're not suppose to have any feelings. We're just suppose to obey."

"Yeah I know." I replied. "I think I'm having two different issues here though." I said as I glanced up at Salam one last time. I was trying to decide if I should attempt to explain all this or not? I didn't want him to get any wrong ideas; yet I felt like I needed help to clear this up. I let out a sigh. I'd suppose the only way to get this all straitened out was just to spill the beans.

"Ok!" I finally said as I looked up at Salam, who was now leaning against the console. "Well here." I suddenly rose to my feet and offered him my chair. "I think it'd be better if you sat down." I suggested. Salam looked at me a moment, let out a little laugh and then just shrugged as he moved to where I'd been sitting. I paced around in a few circles before I finally just plunked myself down on the floor.

"Ok, what's going on?" Salam said as he slid off the chair and onto the deck next to me. When I went to get up, he took hold of my hand to keep me from endlessly wandering around the shuttle. "Tell me what's wrong." He said

"Well, alright!" I sighed. "You know how when you'd ask me why I'd run away from Kamino; I never really told you?" I asked.

"Yeah." Salam answered.

"The reason was because they were planing on doing genetic experiments using natural selection to try and come up with better clones." I finally confessed.

"They were going to breed us?" Salam attempted to clarify.

"Uh, yeah." I mumbled.

Salam looked at me, made a funny face, shook his head and then let out a wry laugh.

"What, they want us to have four arms like General Grievous? Something's really wrong with those Kaminoans!" He muttered to himself.

"Well yeah, but is it any more right with us?" I mumbled.

Salam paused a moment and looked at me. "Well, what do you mean; more right with us?" He asked.

"If we point the finger of accusation at Kamino for their experimentation; yet we do the same thing? Are we any more right?" I shook my head. "Why would we _**not**_ get genetic mutants, if our objection to their experiments is because we're convinced _**they**_ would?" I declared with a certain indignation and then let out a sigh.

"Well?" I squirmed a bit. "Despite the issue of it being right or wrong?"

Salam looked at me for a real long time and then shook his head. I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing, as he looked a bit dismayed, a bit confused, a bit intrigued and a tad enticed. Oh no. I thought to myself. Now he's going to think I've totally lost my hyper drive. I let out a sigh. Salam just sat a minute or so longer. His expression of mixed befuddlement melted into one of reflective compassion.

"Well, maybe from a reproductive stand point; the genetic mutations thing is a good question." He just shrugged. "It seems to me though, that your motivation for selecting me; or any one else for that matter - has nothing to do with trying to engineer a better clone." Salam made another funny face and then let out a simple child-like giggle.

"No, obviously not." I nervously chuckled. "Why would I want to help the Kaminoans pull off a crazy stunt like that!"

"And is it right or wrong for us to be in love?" Salam added. "I don't know?" He shrugged. "I'll leave that question up to God." He answered as he looked at me and gently smiled.

"What's this have to do with orders though?" He asked.

"Oh, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with orders." I sighed as I glanced down at the metal plating on the deck. "Well, at least not orders in the realm of this premonition I keep having of something going terribly wrong. What ever it is; I don't get the feeling that it's among us clones, but more having to do with the Jedi." I took in a deep breath. "I just struggle within myself about the cloners' plans for me and my own desires. How much of my actions are a product of my independent will, as opposed to some sort of pre-programing?" I let out a sigh as I slumped over. "Ashoka seems to think my flash is empty and I sure hope she's right!"

"Your flash?" Salam looked at me.

"Yeah, our flash training." I mumbled on. "Ashoka's trying to pick Cody's brain because she thinks the answer is in there somewhere. Some where in his flash training; but she doesn't really know." I huffed. "Frustrating."

"Flash training?" Salam inquired, seeming a bit perplexed.

"Yeah, flash training as in this weird feeling everyone keeps having and... and.. me?" I squirmed nervously. "You know." I giggled as I reached out for his face and than quickly withdrew my shaking hand. "Am I... uh, pre-programed?" I quietly mumbled to myself.

"Pre-programing? You mean in regards to your recent abundance of affection for me?" Salam began to giggle again as he grew a bit more red. He sort of curled up into a ball and scrunched his face into an expression that seemed to say: If you really don't like me, don't let me know just yet. He put his head down on his knee and let out a contemplative groan.

"Well." Salam sighed as he sat up after a moment or two. "I just had a thought." He scratched his head as he wagged his finger in the air. "Since the suspicion of what's driving your actions seems to be bugging you so much; maybe if you can answer the question as to _**why**_ you are so fond of me, that will help answer the doubt about your motivation?" He suggested and then asked what I thought of his proposal.

"I guess that sounds OK." I answered, although I wasn't quite certain where this was going.

"Well than?" He shrugged. "Why _do_ you like me so much?" He smiled.

Because you're so cute. I giggled as I mulled over the first fancy that popped into my head. "Oh, I'm not sure?" I nervously wrong my hands, as I didn't deem my initial reason was quite adequate.

"I think it's that you treat me like a whole person." I suddenly concluded as I looked straitly at him. "Like I'm on loan to you. You're here to teach me and care for me; not to possess me." I started to stammer a bit. "But at the same time; it's like I'm made for you. I'm your companion, your ally, the one who's suppose to help you through life." The words came spilling out, even though I wasn't sure they made much sense.

Salam squirmed a bit as a loving, gentle smile lit up his face. He let out a joyful sigh and wrapped his arms around his uninjured leg. Then he giggled as he slid his hands down his thigh and sat on them. I looked at him a bit wantonly.

"What are you doing?" I whimpered with a hint of apprehensive longing. Salam started to laugh.

"Well, if I put them _under_ me; hopefully I'll be able to keep them _off of_ you." He answered rather candidly.

"Oh." I giggled with embarrassment. "Thought you were suggesting some thing else." I mumbled in a barely audible whisper. "Sorry." I apologized.

"No, it's OK." He said as he drew in a deep breath. "Temperance is a fruit of the Spirit; one I'm just having a little trouble with right now." He explained as he wrapped his arms around his torso and laid on the deck on top of them. "Oh God help me!" He let out an exasperated giggle.

I too let out a snicker as I put my hands over my face and stole one last gaze at the form laying before me. I looked at the little parcel of jumpsuit that hid within the gap between his leg and pelvic armor. I let out another little whimper as I turned and crawled away, in order to prevent myself from sliding my fingers down in there. "U-huu." I quietly whined. I don't think that would produce a very temperate response in either of us. I sighed as I also lay down and put my cheek to the cold metal decking. Oh God, help me too!

A few eternal minutes passed as we both lay there lost in the struggle of our own temptation. Even despite this though; I felt comforted by the fact that I wasn't going through this alone. What of the God who really seemed to be helping me out here. I took in another deep breath as I could feel my heart rate dropping again and my body quietly sinking into the chilly floor. It really was going to be OK I realized. I really _did_ have control over myself. I _didn't_ have to engage in that dance of mind games they'd so well taught me back on Kamino. I _was_ an independent entity. I _had_ my own thoughts. I knew that truth now; and that truth had set me free! I smiled quietly to myself.


	16. Chapter 16 Who will Love me for me?

_**Who will Love me for me?:**_

"Are you OK?" I heard Salam's voice as I could feel him slap my foot a few times.

"Yeah, I think so." I replied as I let out a long slow breath and pushed myself up. We both sat gazing at the other another minute or two; our steady contemplation punctuated only by an occasional giggle.

"Well, I guess you know the answer to that question now." Salam smiled happily. "Maybe it's a struggle; but you didn't do what you were afraid you'd been programmed too." His face crunched up and he started to snicker. "I think you did better than me." He confessed. "And I know I defiantly wasn't _trained_ for... _**that**_!"

"Well, I don't know if_ trained_ is the word I'd use." I mumbled to myself. "I wasn't _**trained**_ either; God I'm not even sure I'd know what to do?" I looked down as I shook my head and squirmed a bit.

"Well," Salam innocently shrugged. "I'm sure I could figure it out though." He started to giggle. Yeah, well I'm sure you could too. I thought to myself as I just looked at him and shook my head. "Well, no." Salam suddenly protested. "Not right now!" He seemed a little surprised at me. "I didn't mean it that way!" He waved my innuendo away. "One day though." He mumbled as he took a deep breath, rubbed his hands over his face and then folded them - seemingly to pray. "When the time's right." He nodded to himself. "That privilege comes with a lot of responsibility."

That privilege? I nearly choked at the sound of those words as the tears came welling up. That privilege comes with a lot of responsibility! You mean you're not just going to leave me when ever it is you'd gotten what you wanted? I cocked my head, looked at Salam and sucked in a sniffle. He looked up at me as soon as he heard it.

"Oh don't cry!" He suddenly exclaimed as he scooched over and put his arms around me. "What's the matter?" He asked as I too put my arms around him. I rested my head on his shoulder and just wept a bit more. Salam was very kindly and comforting in his efforts to consol me. You are very special indeed. I thought to myself as I looked longingly at him, while he continued to soothe my tears. I leaned over and kissed the side of his face. He gently giggled.

We sat quietly, cleaved to each other for such a long time; suspended in the stillness of a moment I never wanted to end. For once in my life I noticed: There was a calm between my ears. I opened my tear stained eyes and felt the soaking wetness of my own sorrow that filled the collar of Salam's jumpsuit. I sat up and looked at him for another good long while before the thoughts could formulate in my head.

I asked what he meant by his statement about privilege and responsibility. He spoke encouraging words to me as he talked of his own convictions about commitment and how God took promises very seriously. He told me of his first impressions of the gravity of this. He'd actually learned them back on Kamino. One of the Kaminoan geneticists who'd taken care of him was in a horrible transport accident. She had two small children who died in that tragedy and a third that was permanently disabled. Her mate, husband or what ever he was; all the sudden one day just got up and left. He totally abandoned her and this child.

"She used to bring him to the cloning facility and we'd play with him." Salam giggled. "He got very attached to us, but of course we grew up a lot faster than he did." He smiled sadly. "I still wonder what happened to him... and her." He paused a minute. "I knew the void that little guy felt, because I felt the same thing. How can you miss something you've never known? I don't know; but I know you can."

"Yeah, you can." I sighed as I gazed deeply into Salam's earnest eyes. We _both_ put our heads down this time and wept.

We cried for the past, the present and those who were no longer here to share it with us. We cried for the war and the injustices that had been perpetrated upon us. We cried for the fear we had of this nebulous malevolence that lurked in our future. We cried for the unknown and the fear of what would become of those we'd leave behind should we get killed. All these things that ached in my soul. The loneliness of Commander Cody. The frustrations of Captain Rex; the burdens of Ashoka and the tragic demise of a world that had so quickly slipped out of their hands. I thought about Babylon's battle with madness, the price Lazareyeh paid for the restoration of his dignity and the profound shame Shiloh described at the hands of those who sex traffic clone soldiers. It was all just mind boggling to me.

But than there was hope! I thought to myself. Hope on the faces of some of these people who'd endured the worst tragedies I'd ever heard. Hope in a God I'd never known of prior to? What has it been; maybe 15 days now? A God who I knew little about, but found myself liking more and more.

"Salam?" I sat up as I wiped my tears with the cuffs of my jumpsuit.

"What?" He mumbled as he lent me some assistance and dried my face himself. I let out a giggle as I dabbed away his tears too. He leaned over and kissed the side of my face.

"How'd you come to believe in God?" I asked. "I mean, you're so caring and you talk about Him being so caring. How'd that happen?" I sucked in another sniffle. "I'd never known anyone to actually love us." I sighed. "You know; were just... clones."

"Well," Salam thought a minute as his arms dropped down from off my shoulders and he rested his hands on his lap. "I was kind of like the rest of the guys in my unit. We all have... issues you know." He kind of chuckled and then let out a sigh.

"I'd shot a bunch of innocent people." He hesitantly confessed. "I'd told myself they were Separatist insurgents and maybe at one point; that's who we had been chasing?" He added. "But when I got to where the bodies were; they were all unarmed civilians." He said and then sat real quiet for a long time.

"When we'd found Shiloh." Salam continued. "We all thought he was suffering from some form of clone madness. He'd talk about God and this Jesus and redemption." Salam chuckled. "We really couldn't figure out what was up with him. Other than these odd beliefs; he seemed coherent and with it. I mean he knew what was going on. It's not like he acted as most of the other cases of insanity I've seen." Salam shrugged.

"Then I sat down and really listened to Shiloh one day. I told him about the civilians and how I just felt sick to my stomach." Salam paused. "I was so angry about being 'disposable'; and the Jedi were just wasting our lives. Yet that's what I'd done to those civilians. I just... wasted their lives." Salam sat and looked at me.

"Shiloh started talking about forgiveness and unlike the Kaminoans; God can forgives us even when we break His rules. He told me that if I really wanted forgiveness; all I had to do was ask." Salam sighed. "Well, of course I never thought God would listen to a clone. You know; that old adage of do we even have souls?" He sat up and shook his head. "But then I thought about Shiloh. Sham! That dude's a clone himself!" Salam chuckled. "If God could forgive him, than why not me too? Well, a few more days passed and finally I did it. I asked for forgiveness." He paused another minute or so.

"Nothing really happened. I mean the sky didn't open up or anything like that. I didn't become a master Jedi all the sudden." Salam laughed. "But something in me was different." He sighed. "I guess that was my first spiritual awakening." He looked up at me. "After that, my life began to change." Salam paused to correct himself. "Or rather _**I**_ began to change." He said. "A couple of months passed; then one day, I kind of suddenly realized that I was actually at peace." Salam smiled.

"Now, granted my struggles in life weren't any less and this war never got any easier. There's nothing that would ever change or bring back those I've killed; but at the same time, if given an option - this isn't the life I would choose." Salam let out a sigh. "

"Now yeah, there are those I've shot at in order to keep them from killing me." He went on. "There are even those I've killed in order to protect myself or others; but I don't have that hatred for my enemies any more. If I don't have to kill someone I won't."

"Tinnies though; well that's another story." Salam chuckled. "I actually enjoy blowing them up! Especially the ones that make that big **POP** - _fizzle fizzle fizzle_." Salam added, complete with electrical sound effects.

"I don't like this war." Salam continued. "But I will show compassion where I can. I will always pray to know to do what is right in any situation and when my time comes; I pray to have the courage to go out with dignity and grace. It may seem kind of strange, but I'm at peace with all of this. I may not like my circumstances; but I'm at peace with God and I actually feel loved. Salam giggled. "Maybe sounds stupid; but it's true. I do feel like God really loves me."

"Wow." I sat and looked at Salam. "That's kind of how I feel too." I sighed as I shook my head a bit. "I don't really get it; but I can see that people have cared about me." I said as I looked up again. "I think I'm starting to realize that I'm finding all these people who care, because God cares."

"Great to feel loved isn't it?" Salam smiled.

"Yeah it is!" I chuckled. "I guess clone and love can go in the same sentence together." I said as Salam just looked at me and laughed.

"Yeah they can!" He giggled as he leaned over and hugged me real tight. I let out a happy sigh as I hugged him back. We looked at each other a moment or so, before we both leaned over and gave the other a gentle little kiss. One little kiss led to a few more, when Salam suddenly sat up and put his hand on my face.

"You know the more we do this the harder it gets to stop." He chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm realizing that." I mumbled in response, as I let out a sigh and momentarily rested my head on his shoulder.

"What do we do now?" I said as I sat up and looked earnestly at Salam.

"Well, we need to work on the 'get the hell out of here' plan!" Salam laughed.

"And after that?" I inquired.

"I have a particular Jedi I need to go talk to." He chuckled as he wiped the hair out of my face and looked into my eyes.

"About a potential... _situation _you want to get yourself into?" I smiled inquisitively at him.

"You're coming with me right?" He grinned back.

"I'm already there." I whispered as leaned over; gave him one last kiss and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt Salam's head move as he turned a bit and than suddenly started to laugh.

"What?" I sat up and looked at him.

"You know I can't feel that don't you?" He giggled some more as he gestured toward my arm and the fingers that were thumbing at his back plate.

"Well yeah." I started to chuckle when I realized what I was doing.

"Well than why are you petting my armor?" Salam started to crack up.

"Oh, I don't know?" I swatted at him as I let out an embarrassed snicker. "It's safe I guess." I mumbled rather thoughtlessly to myself. Salam suddenly burst out laughing.

"Is that what they taught _you_ on Kamino?" He inquired. "New concepts in clone contraception!" He roared. "Armor; protects in more than just battle!"

"Oh shut up!" I said as I gave Salam a shove. He rolled backwards and lay there flat on his back in a giggling fit of hysterics. His good leg now rested - straddled on the other side of me. In one impulsive risque gesture; I suddenly reached over and slapped his 'protective contraception' on it's 'refresher portal'. Then I made a run for it.

"Hey! I _**did**_ feel _**that**_!" He whooped in sultry amusement as he stuck his hands between his legs and rolled over onto his side.

* * *

_**Debrief Note Number...? (Err? Yeah, something like that!)**_

_**10:30 PM: **_Well, the remainder of this evening has been interesting to say the least. Salam is asleep right now and since I am the insomnia-iatic? (Is that even a word?) clone that I am; I'm still up! Needless to say, we didn't get much planning accomplished after our little... armor incident. It's awfully hard to concentrate on battle strategies when there are other developments requiring your attention. Despite the distractions we posed to each other; we did manage to agree upon some ground rules that need be applied, at least until we manage to fly out of here.

As it turns out; the armor contraception joke has some very practical applications to it. If the only 'one' who feels my physical reaction to your presence is the padding within this poly-metal alloy skin; than I'm far less tempted by you being near me. Works fairly well, so long as the armor stays on! This of course became ground rule number one; which obviously bears other wisdom in regards to always being prepared behind enemy lines.

Rule number two: one person down to the river at a time to get cleaned up. The other stays in the shuttle: much easier and safer for both if one monitors for droid activity using the shuttle's sensors, as opposed to being distracted other wise.

Rule number three. If either of us are having difficulty with rule number one or two; we sit down and talk about it. It's much easier to guard your heart if someone is there to help you.

So needless to say; as strange as this may sound, I feel very safe right now. We've got each other's backs against the tinnies and when the time comes for us to 'turn around'; we'll be able to do so without a multitude of fears of being discovered. A time and a season to every purpose under heaven and right now; our time is to be watchful.

We also spent the evening talking of our hopes and our fears. I asked Salam about how he would guard against what happened to the Kaminoan geneticist. If love is a choice? How do you make sure you choose to stay in it? I mean, I'm sure this poor Kaminoan never chose this mate of hers with the expectation of being deserted. They must have been 'in love' at one time and what changed that? His answer was that we all struggle with selfishness; but if we depend on God to help us become better people, He will never let us down. Promises are very important and since God has a great track record at keeping His; He will always help us to do what's honorable, right and for the good of others.

"I've prayed for help with many things." Salam said. "Laying aside my selfishness for your well being would be no different. If we both pray God help us do that; than we will always choose love." Salam smiled confidently. "God hasn't brought me this far to drop me on my head now!" He laughed.

I turned and looked at him laying there so peacefully. You really are someone special and I love you very much too. I smiled to myself as I closed out my computer log and set the sensor alert. I checked the charges on the blasters and the pistol before I returned them to their designated spots, barrels down, one on either side of us. A bit of the evening ritual Salam had established from his first coherent night here. Yeah, soldiers sleep with their rifles. I'd never thought of that before he'd said anything; but it makes sense.

So I laid the blasters down and then myself. After three or so days being away from this shuttle; I have to get used to sleeping in armor again. I chuckled as I tried to get comfortable. Salam, I'd discovered could sleep anywhere and in literally any position. One of those survival skills you learn in the army I suppose. I smiled to myself as I closed my eyes and took up Salam's closest hand in both of mine. I tried not to think too hard about all this; but the truth was, this impending battle was starting to get to me. This war, which I'd thus far only had minimal action in; was beginning to scare me.


	17. Chapter 17 The Light Side of Eternity

_**The Light Side of Eternity:**_

_**Day 23**_: I woke up twice last night dreaming I was running through a jungle being chased by battle droids. I wasn't so scared of the droids as I was the insurgents that seemed to pop out of nowhere. The worst a droid can do is kill me; I remember thinking in these dreams. I'd take cover where ever I could and watch the 'fire works' of battle rage around me. Those weren't the dreams that were so bad. Nothing's personal about a machine or a bomb going off. No, the dreams that get me, are the ones involving other inhabitants; Separatists and clones. The worst, are the ones where the guys in my own army try to kill me!

Well, I think I may have figured out where these dreams are coming from; as I'd had a third very early this morning that really terrified me. In this dream, I had been captured and there was a Separatist dark Sith warrior who was wholly intent on violating me. The most frightening thing was, I recognized this boy!

I actually remember him frequently coming to the cloning facility. His father was another bounty hunter that worked with Jango Fett. They were of the Zeltron species. A people of fierce fighters, but who also apparently have a great appetite for "romance". At lest this is how I'd heard Zeltrons describe themselves. Is it romance or just plane lust though - err? Anyways, Pithron was several years older than Boba and myself, but liked to play computer games with us. He seemed like a nice enough boy.

One day something happened that sent me darting through the halls screaming for help. I was physically about 10 years old and Pithron had tried to project emotions of desire upon me, so I'd do the things he wanted. That was when I first realized that I could actually use the force to block the influence of other's mind control. After his first efforts failed, Pithron resorted to cornering me in a storage cellar. When I finally got away, I ran up to Kankroh who was one of the geneticists who took care of me. She asked what was wrong and I told her the red boy with bluish purple hair was trying to stick his 'refresher parts' in my mouth. Kankroh just looked at me with a rather disgusted frown and shook her head.

"I don't know what your problem is?" She suddenly scolded me. "That's what you were made for, so you'd better get used to it!" This was just before she'd handed me back to Pithron who'd come down the hall after me. I remember screaming desperately for help as Kankroh just walked away. Pithron hit me several times, although never totally got what he wanted. I kept threatening to bite him.

A few days later when little Boba asked me why my arms were bruised; I told him what Pithron had done. I didn't really understand it at the time, but he got real mad and ran out of the room. Apparently he'd gone and told Jango what had happened and after that, I never saw Pithron again. Rumor has it Jango beat the Sithspit out of him. Kankroh mysteriously disappeared too. Last thing I'd known, she'd been sent to a training facility to work with Shinies.

I sat up on my matt and looked at Salam. He was still happily snoozing away. How I wish I could do that! I sighed as I watched him a bit. I thought about the evening I'd drugged him real good and gave him a bath. I remember being rather surprised by what I'd found, when I finally did manage to get all his gear off.

It wasn't that I had absolutely no idea how he'd be different than myself, as Zeltrons are physically very similar to humans. I guess it was a matter of perspective though. Apparently the things I'd remembered from this incident on Kamino were quite distorted from my little girl vanish point. Salam's body and all it's respective parts were a lot smaller than what I remembered of the looming threat this teenaged bounty hunter represented.

I guess I'm glad to know that; I recalled thinking to myself as I was washing out Salam's

clothes. Then when we switched armor it hit me; I'm not that little girl any more. I'm the same height and probably comparable weight to Salam. When that finally dawned on me; (Ehhhr - duh! Tee Hee) then all the sudden, I wasn't scared any longer.

Well, if I'm not scared of Salam; I'm certainly scared of this war. I sighed to myself as I picked up one of the blasters and fiddled with it until I'd figured out how to shoot myself if I had to. Oh, I'm not so scared of dying as I am of getting captured. I let out another sigh as I put the blaster back on the floor. The things Separatists, insurgents or especially evil Sith could do to me! I shuddered. I'd much rather die than get captured; even if that meant suicide. I reassured myself. There are just things I don't want to live through again. My jaw suddenly tightened as I shook the thoughts away.

I sat and looked at Salam, who'd rolled over a bit, but was still asleep. What if I let you down? I started to get frightened all over again. What if I freeze out of fear and something happens to you? Would I be able to live with myself? I started to sniffle. Oh God I don't want to be a coward. The tears ran down my face as I peered up into the air. Oh please help me. I found myself pleading as my head sunk down and my chin now rested on my chest. I noticed Salam move again. I don't want to let you down either. I sucked in a sob as I sat and watched him a bit, but God I'm so scared. I started to quietly weep, as I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head in my arms.

Salam awoke at the sounds of my muffled cries.

"What's the matter?" I heard his voice as he sat up and nudged me.

"Oh I don't know." I suddenly straitened myself as I quickly wiped my face. I didn't want him to worry about me.

"No, really what's wrong?" He continued to prod me. "Why are you crying?"

"Oh, I don't know?" I finally sighed. "I was just thinking. I don't want to be the pessimist, but what if this doesn't work? What if we screw something up and... half the unit gets killed or something like that?" I looked earnestly at Salam. "I don't want to be the reason that happens." I said.

Salam sat in real serious contemplation for a while.

"Well, I'm not going to tell you not to be scared." He finally answered. "That's ridiculous; not to say unrealistic." He chuckled a bit as he put an arm around me. "Fear is always going to be there. The best thing I've found to do, is just pray that it never stops me from doing what I need to, when I need to do it. Courage isn't lack of fear; it's taking action despite the fear." Salam let out a sigh and then a smile as he leaned over and left a little kiss on the side of my face. "If you can pray, you can overcome your fear." He nodded reassuringly as I sat for a long time.

"I think I can do that." I finally smiled myself as I turned to Salam. "You have a lot of wisdom you know." I told him as I looked intently at him. Salam chuckled.

"Not of my own though!" He raised one eyebrow and then grinned.

"Oh, I really do love you." I exclaimed rather thrilled as I grabbed him by the head, pulled him toward me and gave him one big fat jubilant kiss. Salam began to giggle in a rather aroused manner as he curled his arms around me and began to return my affections. This went on for a few minutes before I finally let out a gasp.

"Salam?" I whispered in a rather heated state.

"What?" He responded in equal tone.

"I think I need to go jump in the river!" I said. "I'm starting to have trouble with the armor rule."

Salam suddenly stopped, looked at me real seriously and then burst out laughing.

"You're so innocently candid!" He grinned as he gave me one last quick kiss and let go of me. He rubbed his hands on his face as he continued to giggle. "I'm kind of embarrassed myself." He admitted. "It's easy to get a little carried away. I've never gotten so close to someone like this and it feels awfully good!" He started to whimper as he flopped over and rolled onto his side. "Sham!" He muttered.

"I know what you mean." I giggled empathetically as I crawled over to the shuttle's consol and used the chair to steady myself. I got up and let out a sigh. My hands shook wildly as I punched in the codes to start the sensor sweep. "It's looking for tinnies now." I mumbled as I staggered over to the refresher and slid inside. It took a few minutes to compose myself before I gathered up a towel and some clean clothes. When I finally emerged, I still was a bit shaky, but at least I felt more back in control of myself. I sighed as I walked over toward Salam, who just smiled and handed me a blaster for the journey. I took in one big breath and began to open my mouth. Before I spoke though, he'd interrupted my thoughts.

"God is so good to us." He chuckled as he shook his head. I only stood and looked at him a moment or so, a bit perplexed by his comment. He gazed up at me and smiled. "All these... _feelings_." He waved his hands in the air as an expressive smirk flashed across his face. "They're a gift." He giggled as his hands fell back into his lap. "Given to us because of the goodness of God." He whispered contemplatively as he pulled his good leg up to his chest, leaned his head on his knee and a joyful grin emerged. Hum! I thought a moment as I too became awash with warm sentiments all over again.

"I better go!" I squeaked as I turned around and hurried out of the shuttle.

I ran toward the edge of this rock crag, which so well cocooned us in. I took several deep calming breaths of cool morning air. The rolling plains before me were entrancing. One step at a time, I told myself as I could feel the pulsing of my heart in my throat. My body tingled in the padding of this poly-alloy skin I was wearing. All around me, my world was awash in the warm glow of a new sunrise. My legs trembled as I sank to my knees. I let out one last gasp before I fell over forward, face down on the ground.

I lay there for a minute or so as chills ran up and down my spine. I could feel every millimeter of the visaro poly-sponge lining that covered the interior of my armor. It breathed and sighed with every whiff of air I sucked in; clinging tenacious to my warm body. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as the rest of me trembled with an excitement I'd never known before. What was this strange marvel? I groaned as I lay there drawing full breaths way down into my soul. Oh God! I cried as I closed my eyes. Then all the sudden, just as quickly as the sensation overtook me; it was gone.

Several minutes had passed before I picked my head up and surveyed the beauty of the valley below us. I'm not even sure I can get up right now? I sighed as I rested my chin on my hands. I still felt kind of... curious. It was a mysterious and oddly wonderful curious though. I chuckled quietly to myself as the only last words of Salam's I could seem to recall rang through my mind. "this.. feels awfully good". I snickered as I rested my forehead on my hands. Yeah, I thought to myself. God this _does _feel awfully good.

So, filled with feelings I didn't really understand, but was certainly enjoying; I struggled to my feet and slung the blaster over my shoulder. I then stumbled my way toward the overhangs that descended to the river bed. It was a lovely morning. The air was crisp and cool as the sun had not yet risen over the eastern rim of the canyon I was dropping down into. Oh God please protect me; was my only thought as I trudged this pass. I'm so distracted right now, I can't even think of tinnies.

I walked for a good five or ten minutes before my mind began to clear and I started to feel more like myself. I could think of Salam's enduring love for me and be comforted by that, but I still had to keep a good focus on the mission before us. There wasn't much to do these past few days other than set the sensors to watch for droid movement and await our signal. We were to get a three consecutive flare warning. From that we were to commence to the communications relay uptake and the shield generators to take them out. Then came the tough part, escaping to a pre-designated spot to await the remainder of the unit's ground assault. We were going to be running under artillery fire and what of droids, Separatists or even planetary civilians we could encounter?

As for Salam, his leg wasn't totally healed; but he was making good progress. We'd been given a designated 10 days to work at using the force to aid Salam's recovery. Alexandria warned me that 10 days was the maximum time we had. Be prepared though, because we'd likely be called sooner. In which case I'd be left to my own devices to carry out this mission alone. So we had a 'Plan A' and a 'Plan B'; now which one were we to use still remained to be seen.

Salam wasn't keen on letting me go out alone, but had taken extra precautions to help me come up with the best possible plan to sneak in and out. We'd decided that if it was to be both of us, we'd follow the same route till we got to "table rock". After that, we'd split up; one to the shield generator, the other to the communications relay uptake. Once the shield was down, I'd detonate the relay uptake.

From there we'd have 15 seconds to take cover before the first wave of artillery shells hit. After that, we had two minutes to get back to "table rock" before the next round of rockets came in. After the shelling started; our chances of escape were pretty good, so long as we stayed low and within our designated escape paths.

No-one really could figure out why this battle had been stalemated so long? It was obvious the Sepies knew we were here; (and we knew they were here). Alexandria had made mention of a secret weapon, but would not elaborate more upon what they knew. I had a feeling it was to be utterly devastating if triggered, so thus the reason for such caution. Somehow this seemed to be connected to the planet's civilian power grid?

Needless to say, Salam and I had spent many hours trying to figure this out for ourselves - based on the pieces we had. Twas not an easy puzzle to put together though. The best we could come up with was that there was some sort of biological agent; that if the power grid went down, it would get released into the air and kill everything on the planet.

"What would you do if I died?" I suddenly asked.

"I'd let you go. What other choice have I got." Salam responded.

"Doesn't that scare you though?" I inquired.

"Yes and no." Salam sighed as he looked over at me. "Of course I don't want to loose you." He clarified. "But I know God can take better care of you than I can down here." He said. "I'd be looking forward to seeing you on the light side of eternity."

"Do you really think I'll get there?" I asked.

"Do _you _really think you'll get there?" He answered my question with another question. Oh how I hate when he does that!

I thought about this for a long time till I finally came upon the river bed. Do I think I'll get there? The question kept running through my head, as I put my helmet down and turned on the emergency signal receiver. Next went the blaster and all my armor. I stood there a minute or so just looking at this lot of battle gear. Finally came the jumpsuit and then my underclothes. I dropped them in a heap next to me. No, I don't want them there. I suddenly decided as I kicked them over toward my other things. I stood in my nakedness contemplating all my implements of war; as if I suspected them to suddenly assemble themselves into a soldier. Well, I've never done that before! I thought to myself as I slowly turned around to face the river.

I looked down at this bare clone who'd waded into the cold water up to her ankles. It was chilly and the little bumps rose up upon my skin as my eyes peered up the clefts before me. I tilted my head as far as it could go and gazed strait up into the sky. Then I suddenly raised my hands up into the air over my head.

"Here I am!" I yelled into the universe. "This is all I got; but if you want me, here I am!"

I let out a sigh and then put my arms down. I looked right, looked left, looked up, looked down, than looked behind me. The war was still sitting there, awaiting my return. I turned around and looked down again at the rock my feet were perched upon. I took a step into the water. I suddenly felt strangely connected to the soil I was standing on. One solitary life-form watching the fish swim past her legs. I smiled to myself as the world unexpectedly seemed so vibrant. The birds cackled above me and the insects hummed. I noticed the trees and the little red spiky flowers that blanketed the wooded floor. I looked up again. The sky really was blue! Funny as it seemed I'd never noticed that before?

"God, You really are actually listening to me; aren't You?" I started to giggle as I sensed a hint of self-consciousness. Then suddenly, I felt a glowing warmth on my back. I turned around again. The sunlight was emanating through a crag in the rock cleft I'd not noticed before. I will clothe you with the warmth of my goodness. A thought popped into my head. I giggled happily as I wrapped my arms around my bare torso. Silly clone standing there naked. I laughed to myself.

"Ah-ahhhhh!" I screeched as I splashed around in the water. Man was this river cold! I let out a shiver as I quick washed my face. So much for all those steamy feelings I had about a half hour ago. My teeth began to chatter, as I thought about how I'd really like to crawl into Salam's armor _with_ him right about now! I finished cleaning up as quickly as I could and hurried back to the bank. The sun was just coming over the canyon wall, so I grabbed my towel and scurried onto a rock to warm up.

I sat rocking back and forth, curled up on this boulder as I took in all the sights around me. It was beautiful right here and I was just as happy as I'd ever been. Odd as that seems? I thought as I sat all by myself, though not really feeling alone. I'd remembered days of crushing loneliness, despair and hopelessness; but today, those times were far from me. I felt OK sitting on this rock without even a stitch of clothing. The universe was OK and I felt OK in it. For once in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere. I belonged here.

Interesting. I sighed as I looked down at this 20 year-old's body that had spent the past two to three years running 5K on a treadmill every morning. I lifted weights and did all that other stuff I figured all the other clones did too. I wondered if they looked at themselves this way though and contemplated how they were put together. I thought for a minute as I folded my arms over my head and looked at my ribs, the curves of my back, the angles of my elbows and the roundness of my own breasts. I looked at my feet, the bones in my toes and the dimples that were my knees. I had sizable calves and well developed quads. I guess that's what you get from doing squats. I giggled to myself. My arms too were of generous circumference and I had big hands. At about six foot and nearly 200 pounds; I wasn't your typical human female. No, I was a Jango clone chick!

I stood up off my rock and turned my head to look at my back. Despite being a girl I still noticed I had similar build as the guys. We all had pretty well developed glutes and fairly long legs. Odd as it seems I was so familiar with this body, for I'd seen it so many times and in diverse places. Salam and Lazareyeh, Babylon, Philadelphia, Rex, Cody and even Boba; I'd noticed all had my butt! I started to laugh; or rather it is that we all have Jango's butt. But... I suppose that's the way it is. All's well that... _ends _well. I started to snicker at my own stupid jokes. You seen one clone butt, you seen them all!

Well, obviously I'm not totally the same. I giggled as I turned around and looked down again. I thought for a moment about the extra space in the jump-suits and armor that compensated for parts I didn't have. Than how well do those complementary parts fit together? The thought suddenly popped into my head, as I covered my face and started laughing. I'll probably find that out fairly soon! I giggled as I snatched the towel off the rock and wrapped myself in it's fluffiness. I drew in a deep breath and let out a long sigh. Have to stop my mind from straying too far. I told myself. That water is awfully cold. I don't want to have to jump in there again!

So with that, I strolled on over to my pile of things and began to reassemble myself. I pulled out clean under clothes and a clean jumpsuit. It felt good to be toasty warm again. I thought to myself as I began the task of climbing back into this armor. It was a rather intriguing combination of things. I smiled as I thought of how Salam and I had now only exchanged pieces of armor, so one of us wasn't all colored and the other all 'shiny'. Besides this, we'd both found it quite comforting to wear gear that smelled like the other. One of your more visceral experiences I guess. I giggled to myself as I fished through my stuff for a brush.

Oh yes the hair. I sighed as I pulled my fadagled barrette out and all the rebellious strands went flying in the breeze. My hair was rather thick and heavy; black with a hint of wave to it. The ends, in certain places even curled into little ringlets. There were a few whispies around my temples, ears and the base of my neck. These little guys seemed to like to escape my ponytail every time I pulled my hair up to loop it into it's clip. They were also the ones that seemed to draw the most curious fingers. Many of my 'brothers', I noticed had an insatiable need to 'boing' them. I'd be sitting and eating, standing in line or busy preoccupied with something else and in variably, it would happen. I'd feel a gentle little tug on my curls; then some grinning soul would suddenly apologize.

I sat for a minute and thought about that as I smoothed all the loose strands with the brush and than folded them back up into a loop. The guys were not just rather touchy with me; playing with my hair or standing rather near. No, they did this to each other too. They were very physical and seemed to like to be close together.

Shiloh said his army wasn't any different. Matter of fact; his breed of clones were even more so. He has a different temperament than us though. He's hardly not as easily provoked and I think he's actually more intelligent. Alexandria said that she didn't think the differences were a product of raw ability, as much as it was a matter of exposure and _how_ we were all trained. Even our brand of common clone trooper prove to be quite pliant if given the opportunity for our personalities to more fully develop. She'd said.

Interesting. I thought to myself as I put the hairbrush away and pulled out a small mirror. I looked intently at the face looking back at me. The fellas were right. I_ did_ look so much like them. I smiled as I could almost see Salam smiling back at me. I wonder what it would be like if there were more clones such as myself? I sat and thought a minute, as I tried to imagine a facility full of me! That would be kind of scary. I chuckled as I stuffed the mirror back into my bag and stood up. Well, it's time to go. I sighed as I grabbed the last of my items and headed back up the hill.

The sun was rather high in the sky now and it was turning into a very beautiful day. I loved warm sunny weather. Every precious ray so much more desirable than the years of rain I'd seen on Kamino. What a depressing planet! I chuckled to myself. No wonder this army has issues! I laughed as I paused a moment to survey the valley again. I wish I could stay here forever, a part of me thought; but than again, there has to be so many more great places to go visit. I smiled happily as I continued back up the hill.

I returned to the shuttle where Salam was up preparing something to eat. He's limping around quite well. I noticed. Seems all our concentrated efforts to heal his leg are helping. That's good to know. I smiled to myself.

"Well good morning again." Salam nodded as he gestured toward his breakfast. "You want some, help yourself." He said as he pointed to the small mess kit heating food over a bitty burner.

"OK, thanks." I grinned as I bounced over and took up residency on the deck.

"You're awfully happy." He noted with a smile. I just smiled back as I helped myself to some breakfast.

"Yep. I ended up having a very good morning." I announced through mouthfuls of hot cereal. "I think I discovered something." I said a bit more soberly. "God really is love."

Salam looked at me and started to laugh.

"What?" I said trying not to sound too defensive.

"Nothing." He said. "Your child-like faith is just very beautiful, that's all. A world of discovery and you want to get your hands in all of it." Salam chuckled and then let out a sigh. "I just got to pray some more. It's awfully had not to just want to smother you with kisses." He put his head down and giggled a bit. I just looked at him and smiled.

"Yeah well, I been thinking about that too." I finally said as I started to squirm a bit. "Maybe we better be a little more careful. It's getting awfully hard for me to control myself."

"Hard for _**you**_?" Salam burst out laughing. "I'm starting to think I need to sleep in that river!" He mumbled to himself.

"Wouldn't you get awfully cold?" I too started to laugh.

"Well, yeah but; one look at you changes that awfully fast." Salam let out a chuckle, followed by a sigh and then put his head down again. I simply sat for a real long time and watched him. He was so sweet. I just wanted to smother him with kisses too.

"Well, ah?" I thought out loud for a minute. "W..why can't we just - get it over with?" I looked up and fidgeted nervously. "You know, get rid of the pressure of... trying to resist." I whispered.

"Because that wouldn't be good." Salam responded rather quickly. "Especially for you." He sighed "You want to feel loved and connected and I want to respect you enough not to take advantage of your need." He said with conviction. "You totally trust me and I need to lead you in love; not my own selfish whims." He sat up and looked a bit sadly at me. "You're too precious to me to do any less."

I stopped short a minute as I just looked at Salam. I was precious to him. I could feel the tears welling up again.

"Wow." I finally whispered. "You really do love me."

"I told you I did." Salam smiled. "Very much."

I sat and thought about that some more. That was profound love. I put my head down and played in my cereal a bit. I felt so small and vulnerable. I just wanted to curl up in Salam's arms where I'd feel safe and protected; then we could hug and kiss each other till we felt utterly comforted by all those warm, fuzzy and wonderful feelings. I held in a quiet giggle as I tried not to cry. I really didn't _want_ to wait any longer, even though I knew that would be best. I let out a sigh.

"Salam? I.. I have a question." I looked up at him. "Uh, ah question about God."

"What?" He looked earnestly at me.

"If..if we really do love each other?" I whimpered as I started to squirm. "Uh, and we are committed to caring for each other and our promises are real and all? What if we just got to the point where we couldn't stand it any more and... it just _happened_; you know. Would God be mad at us?" I looked up at him with an honest yearning. Salam just sat a while. His expression looking pained and thoughtful; yet loving and compassionate.

"No." He finally answered. "God wouldn't be mad at us for our weakness, if our hearts are in the right place." He sighed.

"Oh." I put my head down. "I guess that's good to know." I mumbled. "Not that I want to purposefully do something that's not right." I corrected myself as I looked up at Salam. "That's not it." I sighed. "Just not sure how much more I can take. This is starting to drive me bonkers." I let out a little sniffle. Salam sat quietly for a while before he just reached out and took my hand.

"I know." He sighed. "Believe me I know."

I let out one last deep breath before I pushed my breakfast canister out of the way and laid down on the floor next to where Salam was sitting. I leaned over and rested my head on his good leg; just above the knee. I smiled to myself as I looked down into his kneepad and impulsively poked my finger in there. I could hear him chuckle and than sigh, as he laid his hand on my head and twirled his fingers in my little curls. I sat there and waited a minute to see what would happen, then I let out a sigh myself. I'd finally managed to find a way to get what I needed without inciting in Salam desires he struggled to contain.

Oddly enough, I began to contemplate how it was that no matter what either of us did; we managed to excite each other anyways. All he had to do was look at me and he got excited; then touch me and I got excited. Interesting, I thought to myself. I guess that's just the way we are wired. I took in a deep steadying breath as I put my hand over Salam's to stop him from playing in my hair. That tickles. I quietly giggled.

"Oh sorry." I could hear him respond as he just laid his hand flat over my ear. A few more minutes passed before he nudged me. "Sit up." He whispered as I turned, looked at him and then pushed myself up. He reached over my legs and grabbed a bed roll. He then arranged it behind him and laid down on his back. After that, he took hold of the arm holes in my armor vest and pulled me over on top of him. "Now if you don't start kissing me." He chuckled. "I think I'll be alright."

"OK, sounds fair." I chuckled back, as I laid my head on his chest plate and closed my eyes. I could feel the vicero sponge padding adjusting to the shifting weight of my position. It actually supported me quite well and prevented the circulation cut off in the places you'd expect the metal casing to cause problems. Surprisingly, this 'meat can' was actually pretty comfortable. I let out one last quiet giggle as I could feel myself drifting off to sleep.

"Salam." I yawned.

"What?" He mumbled drowsily.

"I think I'm going to get there." I said.

"Get there?" He muttered questioningly.

"Yeah." I said. "On the light side of eternity. I'm going to see you on the light side of eternity."


	18. Chapter 18 De Libero Arbitrio

_**De Libero Arbitrio**__: (of the free will of men) _

_**11:45 PM:**_ We'd awoken a few hours later to 'restart' our day. Needless to say, some very interesting developments have transpired. Apparently we're not alone in this canyon. I'd rather accidentally discovered this after lunch, when I reset the sensors to monitor for tinnies. I'm not quite sure what possessed me to set a scan for life signs? We usually just do our typical 'clanker signature' scan. Either way, when I'd done so; I got a very interesting reading.

We'd just finished our meal and I was sitting at the computer consol feeling totally overwhelmed by data streams of droid scans. I'd also spent considerable time contemplating what Salam had said about God, our predicament and whether or not my heart is in the right place? I thought and thought and thought about that for such a long time it was driving me crazy. When I finally did ask Salam what it really meant? He simply said:

"When we do right for the right reason; we're in the right place."

Well, that answer seems simple enough. I thought to myself. Although what do you do, when _'right'_ isn't what you'd _rather_ do?

"You do your best to do right anyways." Salam had simply stated.

Well, OK. I guess that's true too. I thought for a minute more. Afer all, we're never going to feel truthful guilt for doing what's right. So yes, I'm feeling a little better about this struggle; knowing that I'm not alone. Salam readily admits to being in the same 'space craft' with me and also, God's presence is here to help us.

Yeah, God's presence? My mind began to track down a different path. I'm not quite sure, but I think I'm starting to understand what that means? I sat and thought for a while. When I'd first met these folks; this had been very confusing to me? What_ is _the difference between 'presence of God' and being 'force sensitive'; (seeing how the force has it's own presence). I pondered a minute more, as droid scans rolled across my screen; then finally I came to this conclusion. The presence of the force is something you can tap into, sort of like jumping into a river. The presence of God though? It's not something _you_ grasp on to; it's _something_ that _grasps _onto _you_.

This revelation hit me when I was down by the river this morning. It took a lot of mulling over before I could finally put words to it though; but after I'd offered my stripped existence to God, I realized something was different. It wasn't like tapping into the force and feeling this power. It was like suddenly being awakened to a reality I'd never known existed before? I was more than just aware of being alive. I was aware of my connection to the One who'd given that life too me. I'm not sure I can explain it, but it's sort of like my hand being a part of my body. I can live without my hand, but my hand can't live without me! So now I wonder? Is this what they mean by being raised from spiritual death?

I had to sit and think about that one some more.

So that's what I did; I sat and thought and thought and thought until finally I don't think I had any brain cells left which to think with. Even so, the question of my heart being in the right place still bugged me. What was wrong with me that all these things were getting mixed up together? Were my convictions real? Was my love real? Where did I find the middle ground between the two? Frankly, the more I thought about it; the more I'd come to the conclusion that I was just afraid of making God mad at me. This war is everywhere! Yeah, it's easy to say I need deliverance from the evil perpetrated against me; but what of the wrong I commit myself? If the Sepies dropped a bomb on us right now, what side of eternity would I really end up on?

Oh God help me!

I turned a minute and sat staring at Salam. (Who was now starting to look as frustrated as I was with these scan logs.) He paused a minute and looked over at me.

"Wha's ah matter?" He mumbled.

"Oh, I don't know?" I mumbled back. "Just thinking that's all."

"About what?" Salam inquired as he marked something on the scan log.

"Good and bad, right and wrong, What is the real point to my life?" I started to chuckle. "You know, all that light and airy stuff!"

Salam just gave me one of those looks; shook his head and started to laugh.

"Don't make your brain constipated." He joked.

"Too late!" I punned.

"Well OK." Salam sighed. "You have my permission to give yourself a mental enema."

We both sat quietly for a moment as I think the 'fragrant' picture filtered through our minds. Then we both started to snicker.

"OK here goes!" I let out a sigh. "Remember how you told me that God would not be mad at us for our weakness, if our hearts were in the right place?"

"Yeah." Salam responded as he slowly sat up and turned toward me.

"I guess I just don't understand how our failing is actually different than purposefully doing wrong?" I let out an exasperated grumble. "I mean, isn't letting something happen a choice in and of it's-self; because you didn't take action to stop it from happening?"

"Weakness and rebellion are two different issues." Salam answered very soberly. "One springs out of rightful judgement for willful disobedience. The other could be lack of maturity, lack of knowledge or just plain inability to cope." He let out a telling sigh. "Everyone has their breaking point." He sat quiet for a minute. "That's the difference between God's wisdom on 'following orders' and that of the Kaminoans." He said looking rather anguished. "Law that omits mercy and justice is nothing but tyranny and God is not a tyrant!"

"Hum." I sighed to myself as I watched Salam a few more minutes. He proceeded to fold his arms and rest his head on the consol. I turned back to my computer and pondered my moments on the river bank.

I'd always felt such shame and crippling fear when I'd thought about who I was and what purpose I'd been engineered for. This ugly body that was only meant for the experimentation of someone else. I felt so dirty. I never thought God would ever consider me as anything but useless. Then when that lab accident happened and I snuck out of the building amidst the chaos; I guess I realized that I was far more capable than I had ever been lead to believe. After all, I _had_ figured out how to put on that armor, climb into that ship and fly away like I really was some new shinny who knew how to go get help. I remember being absolutely terrified and thinking: I can't go back now. They'd kill me!

But when I stood there on the bank and thought about how everything has turned out OK so far; I decided to try the suggestions of some of the guys in this unit. Turn my life over to the care of God. In order to really do that though, I knew I couldn't hide from the past. I had to strip off all the layers of dirt. Regardless of how embarrassed or shamed I felt, I had to come to terms with this. When I stood there and finally looked at my naked body, I'd realized I wasn't as black and decaying as sticky rotting oil. My skin turned pink and rosy in the warm sun and there really was life coursing through my veins. All these things that had happened, hadn't really left me beyond hope! I'd felt a sense of peace I'd never known before.

I sat up again and turned back toward Salam.

"Yeah?" He inquired as he turned back toward me too.

"Just thinking some more." I chuckled as the next set of thoughts made a right flank into my conscious.

When I'd come back to the ship and Salam, I realized something was different about that too. I no longer feared his affection would trip me into some programed response I couldn't control. Not that my desire to get close to him has diminished any, I just feel more in control of it - I guess? I sighed to myself.

I know I'm just kind of rambling and not making much sense, but I feel free now. Free to ask myself questions of a world I spent so much time being afraid of. Free to find friends of the 'them' that I'd always been told not to trust. There really are some decent folk in this universe. That's just hard to know though, when those who you are suppose to trust betray you so profoundly. God really is good, seeing how everyone in this whole world isn't as absolutely corrupt as Kankroh was.

"Lead us not into trial but deliver us from evil!" I mumbled to myself.

"Yeah, deliver us from evil." I heard Salam follow.

Well as it turns out, Salam had given me something to read. He'd remembered a thumb drive he had stashed in among some of his munitions items. He used to attach it to a mini data pad and read books that way. He'd long since lost the data pad, but still had the thumb drive. He pulled it out and loaded it into the shuttle's computer. He said he was kind of surprised it still worked. This thing has been through hell and high water! He'd told me with a chuckle. As soon as he loaded it though, all of his book files popped up.

He pointed me to some ancient writing in a book called Deuteronomy. It spoke of two who were not already joined, nor had promised themselves to another; if they 'lay' together, were instructed to be married. If either, or both of them refused; than the guilty parties were to be put to death. Salam explained that at that point, you'd know their hearts weren't in the right place. They'd done this for something other than love. On another note though, if some person had coerced another; only the perpetrator was to be executed. Wow, I thought. That's pretty severe, but I guess on some level I can understand it.

I thought of Pithron and often wondered how many other young clones he'd tried to do that too? I wondered about Boba Fett and his violent reaction at hearing what had happened to me. Had the same thing happened to him? I remember hearing rumors from Boba as to who to stay away from. Even some of the Kaminoans had certain trainers they wanted out of their facilities. I remember overhearing an argument among a few of the scientists concerning this.

"We have to stop him. He is corrupting our clones by doing things to them that he should not!" One of the doctors had said. "They become confused and behave in unsightly ways." She argued passionately. "He's harming them."

I still recall those words and have always wondered what exactly she meant. Was I the only clone who'd ever been affected by someone else's perverse intentions? Apparently not. I wondered as I sat and thought about all this. I turned and read these words of Deuteronomy again. Maybe if they'd killed these people the first time they'd been caught; it would have saved the next unsuspecting clone a lot of suffering.

"Salam?" I asked.

"What?" He responded.

"Where's the happy part?" I inquired as I flipped through the electronic pages. "I want to read about this Jesus who showed kindness and care."

"That's back here." Salam let out a chuckle as he came over to show me.

I sat for about twenty minutes; reading something a man named Luke wrote. Salam had explained to me about these four fellows who'd written these accounts. Since he said Luke was a doctor, I'd decided to start with him. I don't know, maybe remembering this Kaminoan doctor made me think Luke would have known a little better as to what he was talking about? Not that all doctors I've ever encountered have all their operating implements lined up in order. I chuckled to myself. Ye old mad scientist complex! I thought about a few of the characters I'd met on Kamino. Yet they say there's something wrong with us clones? I laughed.

"Hey Salam?" I inquired again as I'd encountered a story that intrigued me.

"What?" He responded once more as he was now scanning data logs again.

"Do they think these stories really happened?" I asked.

"Yeah sure, why not?" Salam replied. "You see people using the force to do some similar things all the time."

"Yeah, but I've never known anybody to use the force to raise the dead." I turned and looked at Salam. He looked up at me.

"Yeah, I guess that's true." He mumbled after a long moment of contemplation. "I'd never thought about that before." He said as he got up and limped over again. Salam looked down at what I was reading. "Hum?" He said. "I guess that truly is miraculous than isn't it?" He concluded.

We both squeezed into this seat and started reading together. Between the two of us, we noticed some more intriguing things that occurred in regards to the stories of this fellow. Healing didn't require the massive amounts of energy I'd seen force sensitives put into aiding someone's natural ability to get better. They were spoken and they happened. Matter of fact, all of these supernatural events were done by the mere utterance of a word. Amazing! I thought to myself.

"Talk about your ultimate Jedi." Salam laughed.

"Yeah really." I giggled too.

Salam went on reading as I just leaned my head up against his arm and closed my eyes. He let out a joyful little laugh as he put his arm around me, gave me a hug, a kiss on the head and than went back to his book. I wondered what he thought of me, as I sat there with my forehead resting against the nape of his neck. I tucked one arm behind him and the other in the opposite arm hole of his armor vest. He giggled again and gave me another squeeze.

My mind began to wander as I sat there thinking about all the different things people had said to me. Was I making this too easy on Salam? Did I need to be 'harder to get' so to speak? Did it even matter? I wondered.

Than what of God who we were just reading about? What did He really think of all of this? I quietly sighed as I sat there clinging to Salam. I guess He must know we really care about each other. I pondered a moment as I thought of the excerpts I'd just read. He seems far more compassionate concerning these longings we all seem to have, than I'd ever imagined He would be. That's a good thing. I thought, as I let out one little giggle. Salam looked down at me a minute and then let out a little giggle himself.

I glanced up at him as my musings took another detour. Ah yes, Salam; you intriguing clone you. Seemingly so different than any other clone I know. I sucked in a deep breath as I tried not to cry. Do you really respect me? And if you do; why was that? I muttered to Salam in my head. You seem a little more level minded in your feelings than I do. What exactly is it that I like so much about you? Than if you see me differently than I see myself; would that really make a distinction in my own perceptions? Hum, I don't know? I sighed.

Oh God, You gotta help me out here. I found myself praying as I began to squirm a bit at this question that now seemed to be eating my brain.

"Salam?" I mumbled.

"What?" He mumbled back.

"What do you think of me?" I asked.

"Huh?" He paused a minute and looked at me. "What do you mean; what do I think of you?" He reiterated my question.

"What do you think of me?" I asked again.

"Hum?" He looked a little curiously. "I think you're sweet." He smiled as he leaned over to kiss me. I suddenly stopped him.

"You don't think I'm yucky?" I questioned.

"Yucky?" He started to laugh.

"Yeah, yucky." I said.

"Now look." Salam sighed. "We've all had a lot of crap happen to us, some of which was pretty horrible. You're no yuckier than me." He started to laugh as he grabbed hold of my head and pulled my face to his lips. "Ummm...Maaa!" He splattered playfully as he kissed me a few more times and than let go. I started to giggle.

"No really?" I sighed a little more seriously. "What do you think of when you see me?"

"That I should love you wholly without reservation." He replied without missing a beat. "You need someone to treat you with grace and dignity, to care for you with tenderness, touch you with gentleness and truly show you what God intended when He said the two shall cleave to each other and become one flesh." Salam giggled. "I want to love you...that much." He smiled as he gave the end of my nose a tender poke.

"I want to love you that much too." I sniffled as the tears came running down my cheeks.

We both snuggled up close together forehead to forehead just looking at the other; giggling like a couple of... silly clones. We snuck in a few kisses before the alarm began to buzz on one of the sensor scans.


	19. Chapter 19 Not Alone in this Canyon

_**Not Alone in this Canyon: **_

"Hum, I wonder what that is?" Salam paused a minute as he punched up the scan. "There's someone else in this canyon." He mumbled. "Or at least there was someone else? They just disappeared?" He backed up the scan to take a second look.

"Disappeared?" I too looked at the readout. "Just like a ghost." I mumbled. "Vanished into thin air?"

"Ghosts don't show up on sensor sweeps." Salam asserted as he got up and quickly grabbed a blaster. "Someone's out there!" He declared as he handed me one weapon, while he clenched the other. He took one last look at the scan to determine the subject's coordinates, then he plugged the data into his helmet. "Let's go find out who it is!"

"Wait!" I suddenly interjected as I paused a moment to fish through my gear for some certain bits of data that had escaped my memory. "Coordinates, coordinates. Ah there you are!" I mumbled as I spotted the paper in question. "What do you make of this?" I inquired as I whirled around and pressed the page into Salam's hands. "Does it match any of the coordinates we have here?"

Salam took a look at the page. He squinted and cocked his head, then flipped the paper upside down. He plopped it on the consol as his eyes darted back and forth between the page and his logs before finally tossing his hands in the air and declaring: "I have no idea." He proceeded to fold the paper into neat eights before handing it back to me. "We'll figure it out later. Right now though, I want to go check this out." He gestured toward the consol as he threw his helmet on and headed toward the exit.

I grabbed my own helmet as Salam opened the landing hatch and we scampered down the platform. Adrenalin must be working well for him; he's hardly limping at all. I thought to myself, as I pulled my helmet on and followed Salam toward a cavern that stood about half a dozen meters from our shuttle. Salam paused a moment before adjusting his helmet.

"Shut off infrared filter." I heard his voice over my com-link. "I see bats in here; we don't want to wake them."

Oh bats; why'd it have to be bats? I hate bats! I mumbled to myself as thoughts of some old wives tale about them getting tangled in your hair came to mind. Not that it matters, I have a helmet on; but anyways. I still hate bats; they're ugly!

We cautiously crept into the cavern and made our way down a winding ledge till we came to a sheer face that dropped strait down. Salam paused a moment as he shut his helmet lamp off. "Something's here. I can tell." I heard him nearly whisper as I too stifled my light. We carefully snaked along the ledge of this rock face, feeling with our feet as we went along. Just on the other side of Salam, I could see a light emanating from between the rock crags. When we'd finally reached it; Salam slipped inside.

We got down on our bellies and crawled a few meters to where the light was shining up from below us. Salam took his helmet off as he gingerly pulled himself up to the crevice. Next, I also removed my helmet and cautiously crawled atop of him. Looking over his shoulder I could see some sort of loading door not too far below us.

"What the hell is that?" I whispered in his ear.

Good question? Salam shrugged as he fished around for his field glasses and peered down at the scene. Copy. He gestured with his hand as he began to signal a series of letters to me. I inscribed them into the keypad on my forearm. After that Salam signaled to me that he saw a vent just above the door; where-with he was going to try and access the facility. He checked all around below us for security cameras and sensors. There were quite a few on the ground level and right in front of the entrance, but none above the top of the door jam.

We sat and waited about 20 minutes while another person and what looked like a translation droid entered the facility. Now! Salam gestured as I shot a grapple into a crag upon the opposite side of us. We swung over to the wall, just above the vent. Salam hooked a safety line to me and then quickly worked to pull the bolts on the vent's casing, so we could get inside. I was to keep watch on the entrance signal and 'retract' us into the crag if the yellow light started to flash. We entered the vent without incident though; retrieved our grapple and began the deep decent into the belly of this beast. What ever this place was?

The vent shaft was cold and eerie. It echoed with the voices of various conversations that were taking place around this secret lair. We caught snippets of sound bites concerning a diabolical plot to kill everything on this planet. We kept hearing "Quaquanta tree", "Jango zakanpa virus" and "order 66". We had no idea what any of this meant? Then we heard a line that sent us scrambling. It said: "Biological agent C will discharge at commencement of GAR droid encampment shelling." Salam looked at me and pointed: Go Now!

We scrambled out of the vent, loosely sealed the bolts again and grappled up the rock face back into the crag. From there we hastily made our way up through the canyon walls until we came to a ledge where we could see the afternoon sun shining down. Salam hurriedly scampered out into the sunlight and collapsed on the ledge. I swiftly followed.

"Are you OK?" I prodded him in a moment of panic.

"Yeah." He said as he rolled over and sat up.

"What are we going to do?" I started to plead as an unforseen terror began to overtake me. "We can't blow up those droids; we'll kill everything." I began to shake. "How are we going to warn the others? We can't send up a com-link. They'll blow us up and than the message will never get through."

Salam reached over and grabbed me before I'd managed to get up. He held on tight, as I just continued to chatter away in mindless angst. Seemingly having no other way to contain my rumblings; he leaned over and kissed me. That momentarily caught my attention.

"Shhh! C3PO!" He smirked as I just glared at him a minute.

"OK." I sighed in a bit of disconcertion. "At least you didn't call me Jar Jar Binks!"

"Eww!" Salam squeezed his eyes together, stuck his tongue out and momentarily shuttered. "No, you're much more appetizing." He giggled as he continued his outburst of affection. "But than again." He mumbled between kisses. "Gungan steaks might actually be edible with barbecue sauce."

"Oh that's gross!" I exclaimed as I gave Salam a shove. He only flopped over onto his side in a fit of laughter.

"Galactic Senators" He roared. "They're what's for dinner!"

I only sat there for a moment or two, while I waited for Salam to regain some control over himself. He giggled and snickered and tittered his way back over to me; wrapping his arms around my torso and resting his head on my shoulder. I was trying to think of what we could do when Salam started smooching me again.

"What has gotten into you?" I scolded as I squirmed around a bit and finally put my hands over his face. "We got to try and come up with a plan!" I said.

"I am coming up with a plan." Salam giggled as he kissed my hands. "If the Sepies want fried clone; at least we'll go out happy." He snickered.

"_**Don't say that!"**_ I yelled as I gave him another shove. "That's not funny!" I said as I sucked in a sniffle.

"Sorry." Salam whispered. "I didn't mean to make you mad." He said. "It's just that we're all kind of stressed and... and even scared right now.." His voice trailed off a minute as he reached over and cuddled his arms around me. "If we gotta go; I just don't want to go alone." He mumbled.

I let out a sigh as I threw my arms around him and sobbed for a good long time. I knew exactly what he meant and yes, I guess cuddles and kisses did feel good amongst all this terror. I was too young to just be exterminated though. This was so unfair, I'd just started life. My thoughts began to ramble. It's not that I'm particularly afraid of dying; I just don't want to do it right now! I cried helplessly. Several minutes passed when Salam rustled me a bit.

"Come on; let's get back to the shuttle before the sun sets." He said. "We can load this data and see if we can make any sense out of what we heard."

We climbed up the canyon wall to survey our surroundings. We couldn't be that far from the shuttle, as we could see the tinny camp from where we were. This had to have looked kind of strange; two clones walking down this canyon pass holding hands. I laughed to myself. What's this war coming too?

It wasn't long before we reached the shuttle. Salam gimped up the platform and collapsed in a chair by the computer. I came in and made my first pit-stop in the refresher. Feeling much more relieved; I made my way over toward where Salam was. We spent the next 10 minutes or so downloading the information we'd gotten and trying to decide what we should do next. We filed the letters I'd inscribed into the computer data bank. Apparently this facility we've discovered is some sort of biological weapons containment laboratory.

Well thanks to the fact that the shuttle I swiped belonged to a Kaminoan scientist; we also found out what the zakanpa virus is. Apparently it's an auto-immune toxin that's partially responsible for our accelerated ageing. There are several different strands of it; of which whole battalions had been given different cocktails of 'genetic materials' in hopes of harvesting specific results. This computer's data banks registers listings of batches and rankings to their effectiveness; but the information on outcomes does not appear to be present. Granted this information really may be in these records and we either just don't know where to look; or we can't crack the codes.

Besides that though; we have no idea what a Quaquanta tree is or what set of instructions this order 66 contains. As far as we can gather 'order 66' seems to be buried in the Grand Army's volumes of regulations somewhere. We think it may be a code word for something else? I got a really creepy feeling about this though. I told Salam. What are these Separatists doing with information in _our _regulations manuals and this family of viruses_ we've_ been infected with? What's of such use to them that they so highly guard this information? Than, do we have time to figure this out before what ever it is that's suppose to happen, comes to pass?

The more pressing question right now is what of our unit, this battle plan and these droids? If we don't commence to carry out this plan as soon as the flares go up; will it effectively stop the bombings? Would the unit know something was wrong? Would they think we were dead and initiate with some 'Plan B' of their own? It seems to me that the best thing we aught to do is to get to Alexandria as quickly as we can and tell her what we found. Obviously we know now why the droid encampment has not staged any attacks. It's nothing but a decoy; which is probably true of the factory too!

I paced around nervously trying to think of what to do while Salam had his head on the computer consol. He said he was praying for an answer. He agreed too that the best course of action was to get back to the unit ASAP; but what if something went wrong in the mean time? It would take both of us at least two days to reach base-camp. What would we do if the flares came while we were en route? The first and foremost priority was stopping the bombing; but what if Alexandria and the rest already knew? She'd eluded to some secret weapon prior to my departure. So we know she's privy to something! What to do? What to do? What to do?

"Daisy?" Salam sat up and looked at me.

"What?" I paused a moment from my endless pacing.

"How did you fly in here without being detected?" He inquired.

"Oh, I'm not sure." I said. "I think there was some sort of ion storm. I remember catching a lot of solar flares and my instrument readings going haywire. It was very foggy when I landed and I almost hit the rock cleft." I sighed. "Maybe they really do know we are sitting here and they haven't done anything, because I parked right on top of their laboratory? Maybe, how ever this plan is suppose to go down; they aren't ready to carry it out either?" I suggested.

"Tis possible I suppose?" Salam replied. "I just keep thinking about all these premonitions everyone keeps having and just what the hell is this order 66 thing?" Salam growled as he shook his head. "I just wish I knew what it was?" He said rather dryly as he stood up and attempted to pace around the shuttle too. He let out a frustrated grunt when he found that his injured leg had enough with cooperating for today.

"Here, I'll help you." I offered as I hurried over and took Salam's arm over my shoulder.

He grumbled and grunted and growled all the way over to his sleeping matts; than plopped down on the floor. He took in a deep breath and than let out a long sigh, as he wrapped one arm around my knee and rested his head up against my leg.

"God help us." Salam sighed again. "If we're not meant to last the next 12 hours; than so be it." He mumbled.

I leaned over and looked down at him. He'd closed his eyes and was taking deep calming breaths, as I stood running my fingers through his hair. He let go of my knee when I squatted down and gazed upon his face. He looked rather serene as he cracked a gentle smile and swept the stray hairs out of my eyes. I put my hands on his shoulders and just rather instinctively crawled into his lap. He let out a pleasant little groan as I wrapped my arms and legs as tightly as I could around his torso and than put my head on his shoulder.

"You're just really scared right now." He commented as he kept caressing my face and than slid his other arm across my shoulders, through inside the back plate of my vest. "I can feel you trembling." He sighed as I tried not to cry again. I sat up once more and looked at him, while he gently wiped my tears away. "I don't want either of us to experience this out of fear." He whispered as he tried hard to control his own trepidation. "You understand?" He finally asked in as soft and calm of a voice as he could muster.

"Yeah." I swallowed hard and than nodded.

"Good." He replied as he carefully pulled me toward him and laid my head back on his shoulder. He let out one last mournful sigh as he too rested his head on my shoulder. We stayed that way for quiet some time before I sat up again. Hum? He looked inquisitively at me, as I just leaned over to give him a little kiss. I didn't expect this to elicit tears from him; but that was OK too. I told myself as I also could feel the burning in my own eyes. We both cried a bit as we spent a good while comforting each other with these tokens of loyalty that were so freely passing between us. We both looked at the other; than spontaneously just burst into giggles. Salam leaned over and affectionately rubbed his nose against mine. "Done?" He inquired. No. I shook my head. He stopped and looked at me.

"Little." I stammered in an almost inaudible voice. "Little more."

"Little more?" Salam giggled as we leaned over back into this exchange of devotion. When his kisses progressed to be indicative of what would inevitably come to pass; I got a little alarmed and quickly covered my mouth. "Yeah." Salam squealed as he put his hand over his face too. "Little too tempting." He shivered.

"Eeew." I shuttered in disgust.

"You don't like that?" Salam looked a little surprised.

No. I shook my head. "Flash back." I mumbled.

"Oh sorry." An expression of fear suddenly flashed across his face, as he wrapped his arms around me and cuddled me protectively. "I won't do it again." He said with tenderhearted conviction. "Unless of course you change your mind." He innocently giggled with an encouraging grin, as he turned his head and gently kissed the end of my nose.

Ok, think I'm done. I sighed to myself as I rested my head back on his shoulder. We sat quietly for a few minutes while Salam said a little prayer as to how we should deal with this new found strategic information. He prayed for the wisdom to know what to do, so hopefully this whole planet doesn't end up dead. If we're not meant to survive though? He asked. Give us grace to die with courage. Than with that; we both laid down and closed our eyes.


	20. Chapter 20 Revelation

_**Revelation - And the Elements Shall Melt with Fevering Heat:**_

_**Day 24**_**:** I awoke rather late this morning and opened my eyes to the sunlight pouring through the shuttle's extended landing hatch platform. I sat up and looked for Salam. I could hear him shuffling around in the refresher. Man I started to think to myself. That tank is going to have to be pumped soon. I cringed. Talk about yucky!

I got up and wandered over to the computer, as I could see Salam had been working. Well I guess we live to see another day. I thought to myself. Yes indeed it's true; we are alive right now! I let out a sigh. I should be happy; grateful for this time. I guess I am? I just don't know how much more of this my brain can take. I figured when I left Kamino that I'd eventually find some excitement. This though, I'm starting to worry is a little more than I can handle!

I plopped myself down at the computer consol and looked at what Salam had been doing. It seemed as though he was attempting to scan the weapons lab; although with little luck. The warning that kept flashing said 'Turantium / Lead mix?' Apparently the sensors can't penetrate rock faces that contain certain mineral compounds. Maybe that's why they haven't come after us? Maybe the cliff faces prevent them from seeing us, as well as they are preventing us from seeing them? I looked at the other sensor log he had going. It was another life-signs scan. It was marked in several places, as to where more 'ghosts' had apparently 'surfaced' during the night.

Salam emerged from the refresher a few moments later. He smiled when he saw me, as he wandered over to the dehydrator and fished out some reconstituted cereal. He'd also apparently picked some fruit earlier this morning, as he was now handing me several pieces of some melon type looking - what ever it was. I had seen these all over this valley. They were small and round and grew on short shrubby tangled looking bushes. I wasn't sure if they were edible, so I never tried one. I turned it over a few times and gave it a good examination.

"This is the fruit of a Quaquanta tree." Salam said. "It apparently grows in abundance on this planet." He chuckled as he held his hands out toward the landing hatch platform. "It _is _edible." He said while I gave this mysterious melon a sniff and a little nibble. Salam snickered as my face twisted into varying expressions of repulse.

"Define edible." was my only comment. Salam just laughed.

"So, what is it for?" I inquired. "Why is this funny looking... nasty tasting... thing so important to the Sepies? Is it some sort of counter agent to their biological weapon?"

"I'm not sure?" Salam answered. "But I did find in the computer data banks that the Quaquanta tree is very hearty. It grows like crazy everywhere and it's very hard to kill; but..." He paused a moment. "This is the only planet that we know of, where it will grow though."

"Well, I guess I can understand that." I mumbled as I was gulping down bottles of water, trying to excise this horrid bitterness. "The way this thing tastes; what would actually eat it?" I shuddered again. "Or eat it on purpose."

"Oh I don't know." Salam let out a chuckle. "Saute it with some Anzati snot garlic, coboko fish sauce, and wash it all down with hot chocolate chasers! You'd never know the difference."

I just glared at him.

"Yeah, taste just like chicken." I cringed.

"OK" I let out a sigh as I reverted to a more serious note. "I may be sorry I asked this; but why does this only seem be able to grow here?" I inquired.

"Something to do with a mineral; Faleesium? Fulusium? Fal-a-see-um?" Salam shrugged. "How ever you pronounce it?" He said. "The fruit is very high in this mineral. Apparently the Quaquanta tree likes to collect it and this Fal-a-see-um mineral will actually kill the zakanpa virus."

"So we can stop our accelerated aging by eating this?" I looked at Salam as I held up this funny melon. "Providing we can manage to swallow it." I mumbled to myself.

"I don't know." Salam smiled. "Maybe?"

"So what else have you found?" I inquired.

"Oh bunch of tidbits of information; but I can't seem to put them together. I don't know what they mean?" Salam sighed. "There's a mess of encryption codes in this computer's medical data banks that I don't know how to crack. I'm not that computer savvy." Salam folded his arms and let out another sigh. "They're all Kaminoan codes though and they all date back at least 10 years. It seems to me that they are connected to the inception of this army." Salam explained. "That's the only thing I can think of, because we were the only major scientific / medical event that transpired on Kamino in about that time frame. Well, at least according to the historical data banks on that computer." He pointed to the consol.

"And that's where you found this information on Quaquanta trees?" I cocked my head and looked at Salam. "In the middle of all that medical data about _**us**_?"

"Yup!" He smiled with a bit of irony. "Amazing huh?" Salam folded his arms and nodded. "And how is it that _you_ ended up _here_, with _us_, in this_ craft_, with this _information_?" He made a funny face.

"The force be with me!" I giggled.

"Ah...Yeah!" Salam let out a laugh and shook his head.

"So what do you think we should do now?" I asked. "I mean; I was looking at these sensor scans you're trying to run and apparently this canyon does a very good job at hiding us. Maybe we can use that just to fly out of here back to the unit; then hopefully someone else can crack these codes, so we'll all know what the hell is going on?" I let out a little agitated growl.

"Yeah." Salam chuckled. "We don't know where the hell we're going but we're making damn good time!"

"Any ways." Salam made a funny face. "Flying out of here is a good possibility." He concurred. "But let's make the assumption that this weapon's laboratory is armed; and that they'd try to shoot us down. If they missed, it's likely they may just release this weapon anyway. The less they know of our presence the better." Salam wagged his finger in the air and then placed his hands on the consol, as he took another look at the sensors.

"But what if they already know we're here and they just don't consider us enough of a threat to do anything about?" I asked.

"I highly doubt that." Salam answered as he took a seat. "If they knew we were here; they would have come to get us by now. The dark side is not logical that way. All I've ever known it to be is destructive." Salam said. "If it knew we were here; it'd be hell bent on killing us."

"Yeah, but the Sepies..." I started to say when Salam looked up and interrupted me.

"I'm not taking about the Sepies." He said. "This is far bigger than just the Separatists." Salam began to explain his convictions. "I've become more and more convinced as this war has gone on, that both the GAR and the Sepies are nothing but pawns in a greater evil scheme. We're not fighting a war against flesh and blood; but against the powers of wickedness in high places."

"You taking about the Galactic Senate and Supreme Chancellor Palpateen.. Palpatine?" I shook my head at my own embarrassment; as I wasn't exactly sure how to say the man's name.

"Supreme Chancellor... what's my line?" Salam started to laugh as I too let out a little snicker. "Typical politician!" He shook his head. "But yeah... them! All of 'em; even the Jedi counsel! They're all corrupt." Salam backed up a minute to clarify what he meant. "Well, not all of them. I'm not saying every senator and all Jedi are immoral, or only out for power and their own glory. Just like all us clones aren't a bunch of wet droid Du'kits." Salam laughed.

"Don't you ever dare call me a wet droid!" I glared at him and shook my head.

"Well, you get my point." He concluded. "We live in an evil world."

"Any way!" Salam reverted back to his original topic. "Have you ever noticed that when the war seems to be favoring our victories; the dark side is the strongest?" He looked at me with furrowed brow. "Have you ever wondered why is that?" He asked. "The longer this war goes on; the more it seems our final victory is inevitable. Yet, the stronger the dark side is and the more blinded to that darkness the Jedi are?" Salam shook his head. "And all these premonitions that are coming to us clones? The Jedi are suppose to be the ones tapped into the light side of the force; but why are _**we**_ getting some warning about _**them**_? None of this makes any sense?" Salam concluded as he waved his hands in the air.

"Do you think this order 66 thing has something to do with it?" I inquired.

"Probably." Salam shrugged. "But if we have no idea what that order constitutes; it's hard to know."

"Well?" I scratched my head a minute as I glanced over at Salam. "We don't know what it is, but maybe we can figure it out?"

"How do you mean; figure it out?" Salam gave me a funny look. "I don't like guessing games."

"Well." I began. "Let's start with what we do know." I sort of rubbed my eyes as I pulled up a clean page on the data log. I tapped my fingers on the consol before I began to dictate. "We do know that it's an order that's already in existence." I stated. "It's got to be buried somewhere within the foundations of what ever those 'rules' are that make us up. I mean we've scanned all the written regs and get nothing; correct?" I looked at Salam.

"Yeah, I got nothing." He agreed. "And I tried several different searches."

"So, if that's the case?" I continued. "If it's not in our written regulations; I'm thinking it has to be related to... our inherent nature of being clones? It has to be something instituted in...?" I paused a minute. "What's the word I'm looking for?" I rubbed my face again. "Something instituted within the foundations of this army. Where we all started and why we were engineered. The answer has to be in there somewhere."

"Well we were supposedly requested of the Kaminoans by someone on the Jedi counsel." Salam added. "What was his name now?" He paused a minute.

"Sifo-Dyas." I said.

"Yeah, that's it!" Salam confirmed. "Obi Wan found that out when he went to Kamino; just prior to the outbreak of this war." He paused and looked at me. "How'd you know that?"

"Oh, I remember coming across it in a history record, when I was poking around in someone's computer back on Kamino." I slyly giggled. "Boba Fett actually showed me where it was." I explained. "I don't know if he meant to? He was talking about the person who'd approached Jango to be the template for this clone army." I paused a moment, just to make sure I was remembering correctly. "There was a payment man who'd contacted Jango on more than one occasion. Boba said he'd actually seen this guy once and recognized him as Count Dooku."

"Count Dooku?" Salam gave me a funny look. "Why would he be paying Jango for us?"

"I don't know?" I shrugged. "I only know what Boba had said and I think he was telling the truth, because _he_ seemed really shocked too."

"Well wasn't Jango paid back when this project was started though?" Salam inquired.

"Yeah I suppose so?" I shrugged again. "I couldn't see him doing something and not getting immediate compensation for it." I chuckled.

"Well if Boba Fett had seen Dooku; he must have come a considerable time after our genesis." Salam said. "Boba had to be old enough to remember him and Boba's age is in natural years."

"Yeah, I think I was about seven; seven or eight?" I thought a moment. "That would have been six or so years after the cloning started. I was created about two to three years into the project. I think Boba had just turned six? He'd asked me if I'd seen the visitor?"

"Well wasn't Dooku a Jedi before he'd become the Separatists political...organizer?" Salam asked as he scratched his head in a bit of confusion.

"Yeah I think so?" I said "But he'd left the order shortly after the battle of Galidaan. That's where he'd met Jango Fett. Jango had been captured and sold as a slave. I don't know if Dooku had later purchased Jango's freedom or not?" I shrugged. "I know he respected Jango as a warrior and that Dooku is extremely wealthy."

"So the next question is; who really was this Sifo-Dyas?" I asked as I began dictating that search into the computer. I really didn't think anything would come up and much to my lack of surprise; I was correct. What we had of the Jedi archives said...nothing!

"Well, Obi Wan had mentioned that he'd never heard of him and neither had the counsel." Salam added skeptically. "Maybe he never really existed?"

"How do you know that?" I gave Salam a funny look.

"Oh, Alexandria was trying to explain it one time to Shiloh." Salam said. "I remember sort of intruding upon that conversation because I had already started having these premonitions." He sighed. "At first they were very vague. I wasn't sure what was going on and when I told Alexandria about it; she immediately tried to tap into the force. That was the only time she'd actually ever gotten anything. She described it as some sort of warning; but was never able to get it again." He looked at me.

"I just thought of something!" Salam suddenly changed directions.

"What?" I asked.

"Sifo-Dyas... Sidious." He cocked his head and looked at me. "He's the dark lord the Jedi are looking for!"

"Huh?" I made a funny face. "You lost me."

"That was something else I'd heard from Shiloh; actually just recently." Salam explained.

"When a whole bunch of us, all the sudden started having these premonitions and some of us started to surface with dreams; Shiloh had said something to Alexandria again. Well, she'd told him that the Jedi counsel was looking for this Sith lord they called Sidious."

"If Sifo Dyas is the same person as this Sidious? Why would he order a clone army for his enemy?" I looked at Salam.

"And have Count Dooku the leader of the Sepies pay for it?" Salam added.

"Well, if your assertion is correct that both the GAR and the Sepies are just pawns in a greater evil scheme; then that would make sense." I pondered as I tried to keep all the pieces strait. "That would explain the strong presence of the dark side; even though our victory seems so eminent!" I looked at Salam; feeling a bit uneasy about the fact that maybe I'd just figured it out?

"So if the Sith are really controlling us?" Salam paused a minute, as it seemed he too was beginning to connect the dots. "This dark lord Sidious than; has to be in our chain of command somewhere?" He scratched his head as he gave me an inquisitive look.

"Well, the only one person that could be is the chancellor of the senate." I concluded. "He's the only one who ranks above the Jedi counsel and would have supreme authority over the entirety of this army."

"You mean chancellor what's my line?" Salam started to laugh. "What would he do? If the Jedi knew there was a Sith lord commanding their Republic; I'm sure they'd do something to stop him."

"But what if they can't?" I inquired.

"Light always prevails over darkness though." Salam said with surety.

"Maybe in the end; yes." I replied. "But what if those defenders of the light are not around to defend it any longer?"

"Well where would they go?" Salam laughed again.

"Think about it." I said. "We all keep having these premonitions about something happening to the Jedi? What if they all, somehow... die?"

"All die?" Salam cocked his head and looked at me. "But there's thousands of them; ten thousands even. How would they all die; all the sudden and all at once, to boot?"

I suddenly paused as I remembered my dreams.

"What if..." I stammered. "What if we're the ones that kill them?" I whispered.

"No!" Salam protested in horror. "I've been out on the line with Alexandria for almost two years now. There's not a one of us she wouldn't die to try and save and there's not a one of us who wouldn't do the same for her. We've all been fighting this war together for the past - almost three years; why would we do that?" Salam looked to be upon the verge of tears. "That makes no sense at all!"

"Yeah, but that's Alexandria." I said. "How many clones do you think are as lucky as you guys?" I questioned. "How many times have you heard her get railed on for doing all she can to keep _**you**_ alive? Think about it!" I said. "What about the last Jedi general you had? The one who'd just deserted you on the surface of this planet? Don't you think _that's_ more the experience of most clone troopers?" I stated as Salam just sat silently, looking somewhat forlorn.

"Look, I'm not trying to be Sith's advocate." I apologized. "But that's the picture that's being painted, when we add all the pieces together." I pointed out. "I mean, even you said yourself that the dark side is bent on nothing other than destruction." I tried to gently remind Salam. "And if I'm right about this orders thing; this order 66, what ever it is we heard about in that ventilation shaft? That's the only thing that makes sense; because the only thing that stands between the Sith and the control of this Republic is the Jedi order. If we were created by the Sith, with their real intent being to just get rid of the Jedi; it all fits together."

"Well, even if that is true." Salam somewhat weakly persisted to protest. "How are they ever going to get all us to do it?" He continued. "That just seems to preposterous to me!"

"Yeah I know." I sighed too. "We've all tried so hard to prove to this Republic that we are more than just a bunch of droids that eat, sleep and shit; and how is it that committing mass murder would convince any of us that our lot in this universe would improve?" I took a deep breath as I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening their escape. Their escape from the proverbial slavery that was such a glaring reality to our own existence. The realization that yeah, we really were just 'born to die' left a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Salam only sat and looked at me for a real long time. Than the tears started streaming down his face. Oh don't cry. I sighed as I got up and stumbled over to him. I knelt down on the floor and wrapped my arms around his waist. I could feel him shake with the profound agony of the helplessness we both felt. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and tangled his fingers in the clumps of my hair that he so desperately clung to. I just rested my head in his elbow.

We both sat and cried for what seemed like hours. If there was any point in life that I'd ever felt so despairing, it was now. And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. The words I'd read not to long ago floated through my mind. I certainly don't feel free though! I cried as Salam and I clung to each other. I felt as if life it's-self was slipping through our hands and we were trying desperately to stop the inevitable march of the sands of time.

* * *

_**12:45:**_ It's lunch, although neither of us feel much like eating. Salam's mood is a little less despondent than mine though, as he is about to set out on a fruit picking expedition. He says he can't help but feel like there's a reason we've been given all this information. God's trying to prepare us. He told me, so thus not all hope is lost. (Salam the die hard optimist.) I chuckle to myself.

"We've been given all the tools and weapons we need to protect ourselves. This isn't impossible. We can do this." Salam reassured both of us. "Maybe it is for this reason, we are put here. With a little help from above, we can all survive this thing and just to think; He's gonna use a couple of clones to pull it off!" He let out a chuckle as he leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "Be back in about 15 minutes." He said as he limbed down the loading platform.

I giggle to myself as I check the sensor logs for more 'ghosts'. I guess I feel a little more hopeful too. I'm not really looking to be someone's hero; I just wanna get off this rock alive! I said to myself as I pushed a few more buttons. I scanned the historical archives one more time; hoping to find some more helpful tidbits of information.

I'm suppose to leave this afternoon to go back to the unit; while Salam stays with the shuttle and tries to garnish more information. I have a feeling I know what that means. He's going back to the ventilation shaft to listen some more. Can't say I'm not a little nervous about that; but? We all have to do what we have to do.

Either way; we're planning to send Philadelphia and Babylon back through the lines so they can commandeer this vessel and fly it the hell out of here! I sort of laughed when Salam told me that if anyone could crack the Kaminoan codes in these data banks it would be Babylon. Yes apparently goofy little Babylon is a computer geek! I chuckled to myself. I was sitting, starting to load my helmet with this information, when something very strange happened. I heard a voice.

"Hello?" It said.

I swung around; pistol drawn and all. The stranger held his hands up. I gave him a quick look over. He didn't appear to be armed. He was standing at the top entrance of our loading platform. He wasn't anyone I'd seen before; but I recognized him as one of the civilian inhabitants of this planet.

"Please don't shoot me." He said. "My name is Paroon. I live in the city on the other side of these mountains and I work in the weapons lab you two are parked on top of." He explained.

"How'd you get in here without our scans picking you up and where's the other clone?" I questioned suspiciously.

"I'm of the Fonk species." He stated. "I'm not a carbon based life form, so your scanners would not pick up my life signs. Your clone husband should be coming back momentarily with his fruit"

"Clone husband?" I made a funny face at this stranger.

"Yes, I saw you two yesterday on the ledge engaged in courting rituals." He smiled. "I suppose that's what you call it." He'd said. "I followed you back to this ship. You hid this vessel very well."

Just then I could hear Salam approaching. He was singing to himself. He suddenly dropped his fruit on the ground and drew his weapon, when he saw this stranger standing just inside our shuttle entrance.

"It's OK." I hollered. "I'm in here and I'm fine."

"Who is this?" Salam inquired rather abruptly as he gestured at the stranger from the bottom of our platform.

"He tells me his name is Paroon." I answered. "He seems like a friendly. He knew exactly where you were and didn't engage you as a hostile. He appears to be unarmed." I stated as Salam ascended the platform and searched our guest.

"Yeah, he's clean." Salam declared as I holstered my pistol and he slung his blaster over his shoulder.

"Well, you're not armed and if you'd really intended to kill or capture us; you would have done it by now." I sighed as Salam went to retrieve our fruit. "So why are you here?" I asked.

"I came because I want to stop this weapon as much as you do." He sighed as he put his arms down. "I have a wife, six children, parents, grand parents, siblings and lots of extended family that live on this planet." He explained. "Unlike you; I don't have the option to leave." He said rather pointedly. "And I don't want to be exterminated."

"So you know about this weapon?" Salam questioned as he dusted off the fruit and offered Paroon one. Paroon shook his head.

"I can't eat Chakabi fruit." He explained. "It'll make me sick; but yes." He continued. "I know about this weapon."

"So what do you know?" Salam inquired as he sat down and took a bite of his lunch; (which we now had a name for).

"This weapon is to kill the Quaquanta tree." He began to explain. "It renders the Felisum mineral inert so the Quanquanta trees will die. The only problem is, every other living thing on this planet needs Felisum too. If the Felisum is destroyed; that means mass extinction for us."

"So why do they want to kill the Quanquanta trees?" Salam inquired.

"Because it's the only thing that will kill the zakanpa virus that you clones carry." Paroon said. "This virus is due to become activated at a certain time in the future. It's a tool to dismantle this army. Essentially, the zakanpa virus will kill you all."

"Why would the Republic want to kill us?" Salam cross-examined Paroon.

"Because they are afraid you will turn on them." Paroon answered soberly. "They find you too unstable. You were supposedly genetically engineered and trained to be blindly obedient to all orders. But you haven't turned out that way. You are sentient beings. You are all individuals. The more experiences you as individuals have gained in this war; the more you proved to be independent thinkers."

"But our Jedi Generals have encouraged us to be independent thinkers; so why would the Republic seek to destroy us for that?" Salam continued his line of questioning.

"The units on this planet; yours in particular, have a very unique and intimate relation to your Jedi." Paroon replied. "That is not true of most other clones. The Jedi doctrine of not forming attachments; has not served them well in this war." Paroon continued. "Matter of fact; that will be their undoing."

"What do you mean their undoing?" Salam's eyes narrowed in on Paroon.

"Before too much longer," Paroon let out a heavy sigh. "You will all be issued an order to murder the Jedi. After you've murdered them; the Republic will murder you." Paroon paused a minute. "I can explain all of this more thoroughly to you later tonight; but I have to return to the weapons lab now."

"So why did you come here?" I too stood up. "Come here and tell us of all these disasters that will befall us? I snapped at Paroon rather impatiently.

"Because if you will help us stay alive." Paroon answered. "We can help you stay alive."

With that; Paroon turned and left. Salam followed him down the loading platform, watched him walk back toward the clefts and disappear into one of the crags. I waited as Salam ascended the platform back into this shuttle and just stood there. We both looked at each other for a very long time; not sure what to do. Had we just been given the key that would unlock the mystery and end the danger to all the life on this planet; or had we just been handed our death sentence. We didn't know.

Salam finally completed his embarking; closed the loading hatch and took up a seat on his sleeping matts. He never said a word; just put his head down in his hands. I sat for a couple more minutes before I too got up and went and set myself next to him. More time passed as we leaned against the other's shoulder in total silence. Finally we'd given into our aching fatigue; wrapped our arms around each other and laid down together.

I closed my eyes as I tucked my hands inside his armor vest. Every heart beat I could feel and breath I could hear, let me know we were both still alive. My mind began to wander as more and more I found his warm, breathing, living being appealing. It was comforting to hold this life in my hands and how long would we be here before death crept up on us? Odd as this seemed too; it was very still and quiet in this shuttle. The words 'I don't want either of us to experience this out of fear.' rang through my mind. No, not out of fear. I agreed; but out of love. I sighed. As I thought about this for a bit; I suddenly realized something. If this experience never comes; that's OK too. I opened my eyes and looked at Salam. Exhaustion had already overtaken him. I let out a sigh and than a little smile.

"Sweet dreams." I whispered as I leaned over and kissed him... and maybe for the last time?


	21. Chapter 21 She is ready for you!

_**6:30 PM**_: So we awake again back into this nightmare that has become our lives. When will it end and will we survive it? I tried not to think about this too much. It's just better to put one foot in front of the other and keep walking. Let God and time determine our fate; yes, but if we can do something to change this - please show us what it is!

* * *

Paroon has returned momentarily to instruct us as to what his role will be in helping get our precious and vital information to someone who can hopefully do something about it. He tells us he has just "gotten off of work" and will be returning this evening with the appropriate attire where with to smuggle me through the weapons lab onto their underground tube. He says it runs between this facility, the droid factory and the city on the other side of the ridge. There's an abandon maintenance tunnel though, that actually runs right under our trooper encampment. He said it will only take 4 hours now to get me back to camp; as opposed to the two days I would spend on foot. It will be much quicker and hopefully buy us some precious time.

Paroon was a little elusive when Salam began to question him again concerning his plans and the amount of information he had. He promised to explain this too me this evening when he returned and took me to the trains. He rationalized that he didn't have time right now to fill in the details on account of he needed to get back to his home, so he could instruct his wife and children as to what their next step should be. I think Paroon was trying to get them on a transport to anywhere but here. I know that has been proving to be more and more difficult as the war has progressed. Civil strife, inter-planetary conflicts and piracy have made travel tenuous at best. Unless you are very wealthy, a Jedi, or a clone headed into battle; your chances of going anywhere right now are pretty slim.

"So where is it you are taking her again?" Salam inquired as he rather protectively pulled me toward him.

"She will be safe. I have no interest in her fertility." Paroon reassured Salam.

"Fertility?!" Salam suddenly became quite alarmed as he stepped between Paroon and myself. "What are you talking about fertility?" He growled rather angrily while Paroon only looked a bit confused.

"You can't smell her?" He gave Salam a confounded look.

"What?" Salam exclaimed as he glanced at me and took an indignant step toward Paroon. Paroon backed up a minute and held his hands before him in a gesture of submission.

"I do suppose my sensitivities are not also a human trait." Paroon endeavored to interpret as I grabbed Salam's arm and pulled him back a step or two. Paroon put his hands to his side and bowed to Salam in what appeared to be a sign of honor in Paroon's culture. "We of the Fonk species can smell when others are ready to conceive." Paroon explained. "I am sorry though." He stated with his face to the floor. "I've only ever worked with one other human and did not know that you are not as aware of these ... scents as we are." Paroon straitened back up and looked at Salam. "She is ready for you." He nodded very respectfully.

Salam just stood there; seemingly not knowing what to say, or even do. Should he thank Paroon for this... odd 'gift' his species seems to have; or should he deck him? Either way, this could turn out to be a very intriguing evening. Finally, Salam's attention drifted to me.

"I will return at the end of four hours." Paroon nodded again as Salam swung back around and glared at our mysterious associate. "Unless of course you need a longer duration sir." Paroon bowed one last time as Salam just stood staring.

"Children are a blessing." Paroon grinned at Salam. "May you give her many." He nodded as he quickly reversed direction and walked down the loading dock into the rapidly descending evening.

Salam turned toward me again. He stood for a very long time as he seemingly was not only speechless; but didn't know what to do next. The wheels in his head looked to be turning in befuddled consternation. Should I or shouldn't I? He appeared to be lost in indecision. "Uh?" He held his hand in the air as if he was about to ask me something, when he suddenly stopped and his arm dropped to his side.

"What's the matter?" I snickered.

"Uuhh." Was all Salam could manage to vocalize, as he stood there still dumbfounded.

I let out a little titter as I watched him trying to put his thoughts, questions, intentions, emotions, longings, desires, and what ever back in check. He looked so sweet and genuine; nervously tottering there in his vulnerable innocence. I giggled again; as I could see the whirl of his conscience honestly trying to turn this struggle over to Some One who was so much stronger than he. 'She is ready for you.' Such gentle prodding I'd never heard spoken in such beautiful truth before. Yeah, she _is_ ready for you. She quietly whined as she wrung her hands and smiled at him.

Salam intertwined his fingers behind his back as he crept closer to me. We both gazed at the other and giggled and smiled some more. Salam tried to talk, but couldn't seem to do much more than make silly little noises. That was OK though, because; neither could I. Without ever laying a hand on me; he leaned over and pressed his forehead against mine. He started to laugh as he closed his eyes and puckered up for a nice juicy smoochie. To that we both just started cracking up, as we tumbled to the deck and lay there holding our sides until our incessant howls made them ache.

After we'd sufficiently tired ourselves of giggling; we both sat up and watched the other in a quiet sort of serene contentment. A few attempts at words were made, but neither could seem to get the thoughts organized enough to engage the remainder of the body to speech. So with hands clenched together and eyes wide open, we watched the responses of the other as we leaned over and experimented in tasting each other. It was kind of odd, but not frightening or revolting.

"EEEEE!" I squealed as I flapped my hands in the air and than quickly clamped them over my mouth. At first Salam did absolutely nothing, but offer me a peculiar facial expression. Than all the sudden:

"EEEEE!" He did the same thing! I only sat and looked at him with equally as peculiar of a facial expression.

"Are you mocking me?" I inquired with a semi-serious snicker.

"No." Salam tentatively whimpered as I could see he was either trying to come up with a good clarification; (or good apology) as to why he'd acted as thus.

"EEEEE! - is just a very fitting exclamation!" He finally attempted at a convincing nod, before he covered his face and started to giggle all over again. "I'm so embarrassed." He muttered.

We both just sat there for several minutes as our faces ran the changing spectrum of reds.

"So?" I inquired through my own titters of nervous laughter. "Should we?" I started to tremble. "I...I..I'm ready for you..." I nearly choked on my own anticipation, as I preoccupied my fingers with more fidgety wringing. "You know." I sighed, nearly wordlessly as I hid my quivering hands behind my back.

"Yeah, I know!" Salam whispered as he endeavored to contain _his_ wanting limbs by sitting on them. "Uhh!" was the only other thing he could manage to say in that moment before his arms broke free and he flung himself at me in one clenching bear hug. We toppled over and he let out one very long contented sigh as he loosed his grip and lay his head on my shoulder. He cuddled his arms around me, while gingerly entangling his legs among mine. He snuggled up as close as it was possible for two suits of clone armor to get.

"Uuuh!" I groaned half in enticement and half in amusement. I wonder what kinds of creative clamor we can elicit out of Beskar? I thought to myself when I suddenly got an idea. Should I? Shouldn't I? I pondered for a minute as my imagination ran the gambit of suggestive hubbub we could per-chance attain to. Than I couldn't hold it in any longer!

"Creek! Creek! Creek!" I started to giggle. Salam just picked up his head and peered at me a minute before a smirk overtook him and he commenced with gesticulations that harmonized with my sound effects.

"Wahhh! You _Naughty_ Clone!" I howled as Salam too put his head down and gasped a few times. It's tough to breathe when you're laughing so hard. Salam sat up after he'd managed to contain his amusement a bit. I really didn't want him to, as I was rather enjoying the closeness.

"Yeah, I do declare." He snickered. "Not the most dignified deed I've ever done!"

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his face while I propped myself up on my elbows.

"What's the matter?" I asked as I sat up the rest of the way and gave his knee a reassuring pat and than a squeeze.

"I just don't want to do this out of fear." He repeated.

"Fear of what?" I questioned as I let go of his leg. "I mean, I understand thinking - Oh, I really want to do this because I'm afraid I'm going to die before I ever get the chance." I paused a moment. "Yet on the other hand? Do you _not_ do something for the same fear?"

Salam looked curiously at me a moment.

"Well, I just don't want to leave you with a child I'm not here to help with." He finally answered. "It's not suppose to be like that. It's not fair to you, or the child and am I really loving you, if I put you in that situation?" He sniffled.

"But haven't you ever considered that if something did happen to you; what greater gift could you leave me than a living breathing part of you?" I posed as I crept back toward him.

Salam straitened up and just looked at me. I paused a moment.

"You really mean that?" He inquired, sounding rather unsettled about all of this.

"Yeah, I do." I looked at him with honest surety. How is it that strong Salam, so solid in faith and steady in feelings is actually doubting someone could find him so dear? I gazed at his face, as he seemed to be on the verge of tears again.

"You really do love me; don't you?" He uttered in quiet reflection.

"Yeah I do." I shyly confirmed, as a few soothing giggles escaped.

"And that is because?" Salam started to smile expectantly.

"Because I can!" I answered with an ironic chuckle. Wonder where you've ever heard that before? I grinned.

"Because you choose too." He started to giggle.

"Yup" I giggled in return, as I reached out and wrapped my arms around him.

_I thought intensely about what love really was. What it meant to be so dedicated to someone's well being that if required, you'd give the ultimate sacrifice for them; your own life. What dear dedication that is and how many people are there really, who'd have the courage to do this. Does it take courage though, as much as commitment? I pondered as I looked at Salam; Salam who had commitment and courage! How hopeful it was to be so near someone of such endearing attributes. I could just hold and love you till my dying breath. I smiled joyously at him. He started to giggle. _

"_Thank You Lord." He sighed. _

_Ahh yes, and than there's God! The thoughts wandered through my mind, as Salam's simple praise hung in my ears. How is it that He'd be so devoted to any of us, when half the time, (if not most of the time); we pay Him no attention at all. Oh God help me. I prayed. And forgive me if I mess things up. I groaned as a kindly warmth filled my soul._

"_Oooh." I whined happily as I could feel my whole being quiver with anticipation. Rapture of what was to come? I wasn't really sure? I was just excited that's all. It felt so good to see Salam happy. He giggled and snickered through a whole wonderful realm of life that neither of us really knew much about. Love in all it's varying and colorful aspects is an astonishing thing to stumble upon. I thought to myself as I beheld this one, just like me; just another clone. A disposable being, standing with his out-stretched arms waiting to be scooped up and swept away. Swept away into the sea that refuses no river. Little had I ever expected; this odyssey was turning into a intensely spiritual one. _

_I thought about Salam and what was going on in his heart. He'd ripened to a placid ball of fiery emotions, with whom the truth of his honest feelings was laid bare before me. It was a rather remarkable thing to witness, as I had so plentifully encouraged him every step of the way. He had tried desperately to reach out, take hold of me and pull me in nice and close; but alas, his affections had gotten away from him a bit. _

_He'd just put his head down a while, before he began to flood over with all that he'd feared to unleash moments prior. He spoke openly about his hopes and fears, his dreams, his doubts and the God who he earnestly endeavored to please. He prayed for understanding, wisdom and courage. He prayed for enduring honesty, love and dignity toward me. _

"_I don't want to mess this up." He implored with purity of heart and loving care. "Please let me know if I've gone astray down some strange road I shouldn't." He sighed. "I want to be a creature of true love; not one that deceives it's-self and others." He closed his eyes and rested a bit. I just silently watched him. _

"_Me too!" I whispered with a little giggled. "A creature of true love." _

_Salam quietly snuggled up again; getting as close as he could manage to dare for the moment. I let out a long tranquil sigh, as my mind began to drift. I thought about Alexandria, Shiloh, Babylon, Rex, Ashoka and everyone else, held up in anxious questioning back at the trooper encampment. I prayed all were safe and things were going well._

_My meditations of peace and goodwill were suddenly interrupted by mysterious sensations. They ran from my toes, up my legs, strait into my back and out the top of my head. They were of such profound stirring, that there literally was no room for any other contemplations. _

"_Oh God help us all!" I suddenly cried out as I closed my eyes and my body jumped._

_Salam started to giggle. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He just grinned. _

_As I watched Salam a moment or so; for what ever reason - thoughts of Paroon began to seep into my mind. I wonder what his children look like? I giggled happily. I could almost see their little brick brown spotted faces smiling back at me and their waves of curly montails looping down their backs. The Fonk were really elegant and noble creatures with slender limbs and graceful hands. I'd noticed that, as I watched Paroon's gestures upon his interactions with Salam and how he swept across our rock ledge back into the crags. He moved almost like a dancer. A dancer of a song who's melody we couldn't hear. She's ready for you. His words still rang in my ears._

_Salam seemed to be lost in intense concentration. He'd watch with great interest in every little sensitivity I felt. When I gladly relinquished all I had; this delighted him to no end. He cuddled even closer and I clung tightly, as chills ran up my spine at this presence that filled me; body and soul. _

"_Oh God!" Was all either of us could manage to utter._

_I observed in sheer amazement, the depth of profound sentiments that emerged from his soul and flashed across his face. It took a few minutes for Salam's self-consciousness to subside before he'd let me enjoy him as much as he was enjoying me. It was entrancing to watch. He was just as innocent and vulnerable in this big unknown as I was. Oh how deeply satisfying that is to see. What a beautiful comfort to know you're not alone. _

_I giggled and squirmed and cried out, as a deluge of fiercely potent emotions overtook me. "AAAh!." I screeched in one momentary surge, as my whole body shuddered. Oh God what was that? I gasped as I went on trembling incessantly. Was I completely riveted, or about to loose my mind? No! I was OK! I think? I realized, as Salam came to my rescue in an attempt to squeeze me back to safety. He'd paused momentarily and judging from the expressions of awe that swept through his being; this same storm had wholly taken him too. _

_We lay there and stared at the other, as it seemed we were both trying to figure out what had just happened to us? Both drenched now, cold and wet; having been swept away by this... gale? We looked at each other and just started to giggle. Having been thrown in the river; I think we made it to the sea?_

"_I...I feel so...small." I stammered as I sucked in a big breath._

"_Th..th...that's OK." Salam also stumbled over his words. "I..I small too." He confessed as he folded his arms around me. "Bu..but God is big." He shivered. "He'll take care of us...and..and love us." Salam smiled. I smiled back at him. _

"_I..it feels good to be l.l..loved." I stuttered._

"_It s..sure does!" Salam quivered. _

"_Thank You God." I whispered. "Thank You for loving us."_

"_Yes, Thank You!" Salam sighed. _

_**10:30 PM**_ Paroon made his reappearance precisely as he'd promised; nearly to the minute too. We were finishing readying me for my journey back to the unit, when he appeared at the foot of the loading ramp. Salam waved him up and he ascended platform into the shuttle. He paused a moment, looked at the two of us and smiled knowingly. I only put my head down and let out a little chuckle, as I turned back to the computer console. We've been caught; was the only thing that kept going through my mind.

Paroon and Salam were chatting a bit, as Salam was finishing packing me a few things. Paroon was busy pulling out the items he wanted Salam to give to me to put on. Salam was quite talkative this evening and I think Paroon brought out in him a sense of pride in what he'd finally "accomplished". They talked about children, Paroon's great love for his own and Salam's euphoria over the distinct possibility that he may have genesised one himself. I found it sadly ironic that Salam, a man who'd been, of all things - cloned; found the mere thought of impregnating me so utterly and absolutely arousing. But than again; I (the clone chick) found the mere thought of him impregnating me utterly and absolutely arousing too. Generically replicated beings, given by God; (of all things) the power to generate - life! It gave me chills. I giggled to myself. Oh God; I hope we survive this mess to enjoy it! I sighed.

Paroon had moved on to explaining the weapons lab, while I was still stuck on the baby idea. Was I going to have one? Was there one in me right now and if there was; what would it look like? I'm not an expert on genetics; but would I pop out a child that was essentially a clone of one of us? _What an irony that would be. _I started to quietly snicker. Than again; I suppose there's a possibility that it may not look like either of us? Hum, I don't know; but it certainly aint gonna look like Shiloh! I started to chuckle as my thoughts shifted in a different direction.

I wonder why they sterilized their army? I pondered a minute. Talk about issues of the rights of sentient beings? Yet Shiloh never said to me that he'd ever considered himself 'oppressed'; at least not oppressed for that reason. Than to say his army has it's own bill of rights and constitution? Just the simple notion that you wouldn't be put to death because you're considered 'defective' in some way! Basic right to life; what a novel idea. I muttered. Right to not be sold into slavery. Right to equal treatment in a court of law. Right to not be used as laboratory test subjects. All those types of things! Clone's rights! Probably something we'll never see! I sighed.

Salam had finished talking to Paroon when he came over with some sort of robe for me to put on. Paroon was threading a quick needle to baste up the bottom if need be. I took this garment out of the package and held it up. It was colorful; quite pretty. I giggled to myself as I slipped it over my head and put my helmet on. Salam just looked at me and shook his head.

"You're such a shinny!" He laughed. Paroon let out a chuckle too.

Within moments though; I'd been handed a whole bag of packages that contained the remaining elements of this outfit. I was instructed to go into the refresher and remove all my clone apparel and redress myself in this new garb. When I emerged; Salam told me I looked beautiful. I just felt weird though. Paroon showed me how to arrange the pieces as they would normally be worn. Still, I felt weird. I went and looked in the mirror after I'd gotten dressed. Salam was right. It was a beautiful attire and it did look nice on me. I still felt weird though.

We finished packing the few items I was to bring, before Paroon and myself set out for the weapon's lab. We stopped a minute or so to pray for the mission, ourselves and this planet. before we left the shuttle.

"Be careful and be safe." Salam said as he threw his arms around me. We hugged and kissed with a fervent passion for life. The life of him, the life of me, the possible life in me and of course the life all around us. May we make it through one more night! We both let out a sigh, as I turned toward Paroon.

"Let's roll." I said.

"OK" He nodded as we descended down the loading platform into the night.


	22. Chapter 22 Peace - es

_**Peace... - es**_

_**D**__**ay ****25:**_ Well it's early, early, early dawn. The sun hasn't actually risen yet; but it's thinking about it. I can tell by the nippy mist that's hanging in the air. General Alexandria had told me to go get some rest; but I'm too wired to sleep right now. Too anxious, too distressed and too frightened. So, I asked her if I can snag a blank data pad to continue my log. She didn't seem to mind; so, here I am.

Nearly the whole camp is stirring. Paroon left a few hours ago with Babylon and Philadelphia. They are going to get the shuttle and Salam. Hopefully, Babylon can help Paroon with the Kaminoan encryption codes. Paroon will be attempting to get some more information off the weapons lab computers. We haven't found a counter agent for this weapon yet; but we do have some good information on how it's being contained.

As it turned out; several Sepies have mysteriously appeared in the underground of this movement to stop the mass genocide that's threatening this planet. All the sudden this war doesn't seem so important any longer. Sepie and GAR; we're actually on the same side here. The enemy is really this Sith lord Sidious. Funny how it is; your allies and axis in any given conflict may not be the ones you're truly fighting. The real enemy is everywhere and he's wearing our own armor.

Ashoka is up; as is Rex. I'd seen both about an hour or so after arriving into camp. They had been in Alexandria's briefing tent with Shiloh and two Fonk civilians. The 'Fonk Sepies' were organizing with their underground to hide at least one of our recently defrocked officers. From what I'd heard; Ashoka was expelled from the Jedi order and the high command wants to make an example out of Rex. Alexandria was ordered to hold him until a GAR transport could come to get him. Rumor has it, they want to take him back to Coruscant for public execution.

When I heard that, I was horrified. I wondered what was going to happen to Salam and myself? Shiloh reassured me though, that no-one was going anywhere. He said Alexandria made it pretty clear to him that she had no intention of following these orders. He'd told me of her disgust with all of this; especially considering 'other's circumstances' it seems she (as well as the rest of the order) have 'well rumored' knowledge of. Apparently there is a Jedi named Etain, who had been hiding on Qiilura till she could give birth to the child of her clone commander Darman! Yeah OK, they could argue that we are dealing with a teenage Padawan here and a clone who maybe got a bit overly inquisitive about each other; but really how is that much different?

"It is just absolutely preposterous to murder clones for having sex. You want to prosecute someone for elicit acts; go hit the red light districts of Coruscant. You'll find plenty of clones; along with the Jedi and senate cabinet members who solicit them!" Alexandria had complained rancorously to Shiloh.

Well, I suppose that at least we could say in defense of the good Captain here; apparently it was only an attempt. I guess neither had really known until that fateful moment, that the Togruta and Humans aren't even anatomically compatible. Not to say, I'd point any deriding fingers at them for their ignorance; seeing how I wouldn't have guessed that either. Yikes though! What a time to find out; in the cargo box of a supply tent! When I'd said something to Shiloh about this though; he didn't seem too phased. He only shrugged and said God made everything after it's own kind.

Well, OK - I suppose He did!

Speaking of everything made after it's own kind. I'd found out more about the inhabitants of this planet from Paroon. Apparently they are a life long monogamous species. Once they pick someone; chemicals in their bodies change both counterparts to the same skin tone. That's how they actually tell who's paired, who's not, and with whom one is paired. There's no such thing as 'marriage ceremonies' on this planet because there's no need for them. Once they are mature enough to be fertile; they find someone and are joined for life. I don't know, maybe that's why Paroon had responded to Salam and myself the way he had? Weird!

Shiloh only shrugged at that too though. He said that on the planet he'd lived; (Aardat) his humanoid cousins were quite similar. I don't know though? This universe is proving to be a very... curious place!

* * *

_**4 AM:**_ Well, apparently there are more pressing issues at hand than the plans of what the Jedi counsel or the Grand Army's high command want to do with Ashoka and Rex. The clamor of the hour; at least amongst those of us who know, is this order 66 thing. Both Paroon and I had told Alexandria and Shiloh what we know about it. Though, they are rather confused by this and how it's even comprehendible.

"Either way, we shouldn't discount _any_ possibility." Shiloh had stressed. "Even if it does seem rather unlikely to us. Never underestimate your enemy." He warned Alexandria.

"Yeah but they're telling me my enemy is my own unit!" Alexandria nearly yelled back at Shiloh. "What am I suppose to do with that? I don't_ really _want to believe that _my own _clones are going to shoot me!"

"But maybe we _won't_!" I interjected as the pitch of emotions jumped up another notch. "_Your own_ clones _can_ think for ourselves you know!" I countered rather bitterly.

Alexandria swung around to light into me; but suddenly stopped. She glared at me a moment than turned away again. She folded her arms and put her head down in one of her hands. She just stood there for a few minutes before she said anything.

"I'm going for a walk." She growled as she turned from all of us and shoved the door open; only to be followed by a loud slam.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled to Shiloh. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Yeah." He sighed. "And she shouldn't have called you all _'her own clones'_." Shiloh shook his head and let out another long drawn out breath. "Don't worry about it. All of our nerves are a little frayed right now."

I let out a sigh myself, took a seat and put my head down. Shiloh wandered around the briefing tent a bit before he decided to make some fresh café. I heard him shuffling around, opening and closing storage cupboards, when he asked me if I wanted a cup.

"Sure." I answered.

"OK." He mumbled with his hands and face in the shelves.

"Thanks." I looked up when he set a clean mug before me.

"What's the matter?" Shiloh glanced down a minute before he took a seat.

"Oh." I peered over at him. "I don't know? Just all these goings on I guess... and wondering what's going to happen to us all." I started to mumble as I stared back down at the table. "What's going to happen to me and my..." My voice suddenly trailed off as I instinctively snugged a protective embrace of my abdomen.

There was a bit of a pause.

"You and your...?" Shiloh looked at me with one raised eyebrow.

"Uh, Yeah." I squirmed a bit as I hesitantly glanced over at him.

"_**Salam?"**_ Shiloh started to giggle, as an expression of half astonished shock and half endearing pride flashed across his face. "Well, well, well." He laughed. "I never would have fancied _he'd_ become so... un-contained."

"Well, Uh." I squirmed a bit more; not sure what to make out of his comment.

"No, no; don't feel bad." Shiloh said. "He must really like you." He smiled. "No, I mean he must really love you." He corrected himself.

"Well, yeah." I replied as I squirmed some more and tried to hold in the nervous giggles.

"What's the matter?" Shiloh inquired as he gave me a friendly shove.

"Oh, ah; I'm not sure." I paused a minute. "Salam had said he wanted to talk to Alexandria and ask her to join us; but I ... I think we got... a little ahead of ourselves." I guardedly confessed.

"Well you know what is says!" Shiloh grinned. "If any man by wisdom knows that he is not holding himself accordingly toward his virgin. Thus, she is now past ... _that certain point_!" Shiloh giggled. "And obligation is making known to him to do what he is determining any how. He has not missed the mark. Let them be joined."

"On the other hand though!" Shiloh held up a finger. "He who is steadied within his heart, not driven by necessity; but has power over his own desires. Having vowed in his heart that he will guard his virgin, does well."

"So than he that takes her to marriage does what is morally honest; but he who has not taken her until marriage, has done a more noble thing."

I sat and stared at Shiloh for a real long time.

"Is that what it really says?" I inquired; pondering how skeptical I should be.

"Yeah, that's what it really says!" Shiloh laughed.

I sat and stared at him another minute or so.

"Well I'll be damned." I mumbled.

"Well I hope not!" Shiloh commented in return before he let out a hearty bellow.

We sat for another couple of minutes before Shiloh got up to fill our mugs with café. He was fiddling with the dispenser when we heard a quiet knock on the door. We both turned around. It was Ashoka.

"Hello." We both said at the same time.

"Hello." Ashoka responded as she let out a sigh and came walking in. "Do either of you know what happened with General Alexandria?" Ashoka inquired. "She seems upset."

"She didn't tell you why?" Shiloh asked.

"No." Ashoka answered.

"Oh OK." Shiloh made a curious face. "Maybe I aught to go find her?" He'd determined as he picked up his café and headed outside.

Ashoka just lent a wary eye as Shiloh walked past her. OK, she just shrugged as she came over and sat down.

"So how are you this morning?" Ashoka asked.

"Oh, I'm OK." I responded. "You want some?" I inquired as I pointed to my mug. "Shiloh just made a fresh brew."

"Oh." Ashoka mumbled as she glanced behind her at the dispenser. "Maybe later?" She waved the idea off. "Too early still."

"Too early; yeah, doesn't seem like anyone's still asleep does it?" I chuckled.

"Well, it is getting to be about that time." Ashoka commented. "A lot of the clones get up at 05:00." She looked around her. "At least on the Resolute they do."

"Well, around here; people seem to get up with the sun." I responded before changing the subject.

"So what have you been assigned too as of late?" I queried as I gestured toward her. "I see they didn't confiscate your light-saber."

"No." Ashoka sighed as she looked down at her weapon. "General Alexandria finds it unwise and distasteful to disarm someone on a battlefield." She chuckled cynically. "After all these years. I never thought _this_ would happen to _me_." She sighed again.

"You invested a lot in this war." I told her.

"Yeah, I did." She replied. "And now what was it all for?"

"Good question; what is any of it for?" I concurred as I took another swig from my mug.

"I don't know." She mumbled as I sat and studied her a minute.

"I don't know either." I sighed too, as we both surveyed our surroundings. Like the answer to that infamous question may have been laying on one of the tables here somewhere.

"So how is Rex?" I attempted to cautiously change the subject.

"How's Rex?" Ashoka rolled her eyes. "Oh, who knows? He won't even talk to me."

"Really?" I made a funny face.

"Yeah, really!" She looked at me seeming a little perturbed.

"I wonder why that is?" I quietly marveled.

"Because he's mad at me!" Ashoka suddenly growled in frustration. "He's mad at himself and he's mad at the world; but all he ever says is: 'I'm fine!' That's Rex for you; he's either fine or he's unconscious!"

"Hih." I let out a guarded chuckle at her comment. "Fine or unconscious. Yeah that pretty much sums it up; doesn't it?" I glanced over at Ashoka. She was leaning her chin on one hand, drumming her fingers on the table and staring out into space.

"He is missing something worth while." I said to her. "You know that don't you?"

Ashoka sat up and looked at me a minute, but didn't say anything. She just put her head down on the table, atop of her folded hands.

"Never should have done it?" She mumbled, though I think mostly to herself.

"Hey, we all fall down sometimes." I told her. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It was a good day; nobody got killed!"

"Nobody got killed _**yet**_!" Ashoka glared at me.

"And nobody is going to!" I reassured her. "You know as well as I do, that Alexandria has no intentions of letting anyone hurt him... or you for that matter." I reiterated. "Oh man, you didn't hear what she'd said to Shiloh after you guys left. She was pissed! Those hypocritical 'powers that be'!" I grabbed Ashoka's arm as I leaned over and looked intently at her. "You have any idea what half those depraved senators do to, with or have clones do... in the under belly of Coruscant?" My eyes narrowed upon her. "And some of your Jedi pals too!" I said. "It's disgusting."

"Yeah, I know." Ashoka sighed. "Never seen it myself; but I've heard stories." She paused a minute and sat up. "But I know nothing bad like that has ever happened to Rexie! Matter of fact I'm pretty sure he's still..." Ashoka suddenly stopped when I started to giggle. "I didn't just call him Rexie did I?" She looked at me.

"Yes you did." I laughed.

"Sheb! He hates it when I do that!" She mumbled.

We both chuckled.

"Picking up some Mando'a ... colorful metaphors; aye!" I raised one eye brow at her.

"Yeah." Ashoka shrugged. "That's another thing that drives Rex nuts. The guys in this unit have their own rendering. 'It's not _sham_ it's _sheb_ - you du'kits!'"

We both snickered.

"Yeah, is that kind of like the difference between fierfek and what the...?" I giggled.

"What the...?" Ashoka looked at me questioning.

"Oh never mind; old planet Earth idiom." I waved my hand in the air.

"Planet Earth? Where's that?" Ashoka made a funny face.

"Out there some where. In a galaxy far far away." I laughed as I waved off into the distance.

"Shiloh?" She nodded with a chuckle.

"Yep!" I replied.

We sat quietly for a minute.

"So what about you." Ashoka said as she gestured toward my interesting assembly of garb. "Going Fonk on us are you?" She smiled.

"Ah yeah." I giggled as I picked at my clothes. "They're very pretty." I commented. "I feel weird though. I've only ever really worn clone jumpsuits, you know; and those funny long red tunics they have for cadets."

"Yes, I've seen them." Ashoka replied. "You look very nice though." She smiled. "Fonk fashion is very similar to Togruta. We wear long skirts too; when we're not out hunting that is." Ashoka grinned.

"So what's your home world like?" I inquired as I folded my hands and rested my chin on them.

"Well there's a lot of tall grass and critters that like to eat people." Ashoka chuckled.

"Yikes!" I said.

"Oh it's not that bad." She waved her hand in the air. "Thimiars are actually somewhat edible." She laughed. "Except they give me gas."

We both let out an arid cackle waving our hands in front of our faces.

"But my home planet has it's disadvantages too." Ashoka sighed. "I guess they all do." She paused a minute as she looked over at me. "I don't remember that much about home. I've only ever been back there periodically." She added. "Don't really think I fit in. It's kind of frowned upon there to be individualistic." She shrugged. "I guess you could say we are clones of our own making." She chuckled. "So, I like to think I can understand Rex's struggle to be different."

"Yeah, I've been thinking about that myself." I responded. "I'm the only other clone like me that I know of; and I can't imagine living in a world where there's a million other people who look exactly like me." I chuckled. "Even as it is now; I look so much like the guys it's kind of freaky. Out side of that though; it _is_ comforting. I feel like I fit in somewhere." I smiled.

"Well it's good to feel like you belong." Ashoka sighed. "I'm not sure anymore _where_ I belong?" She snorted as she made a funny face. I just sat and watched her a moment or so, then reached out and took a hold of her hand. She smiled appreciatively as the tears seeped out of her eyes.

"When I was first assigned to be master Skywalker's Padawan; I'd thought I'd found my place?" Ashoka began to expound. "I guess I was a tad infatuated with the idea of being trained by the 'chosen one'." Ashoka reflected upon that one a moment or so. "But somewhere along the line, that all changed." She commented with another sigh. "Master Skywalker is a good guy and he has a lot to offer; but, I don't know?" She gingerly retrieved her hand and rested her chin on it again. "Wish I could figure out what the... what is really going on?"

"Oh...? Were you able to get anything else from Cody?" I inquired, suddenly remembering that she'd tried.

"Oh!" Ashoka sat up and looked at me. "Um... not sure?" She wrinkled her nose. "Twice, I got a series of random numbers?"

"Random numbers?" I hastily announced as I began patting my body. "Wait a minute." I mumbled. "Yeah, here it is." I confirmed as I inched the mysterious page out of my under clothes. "These numbers?" I inquired as I laid them on the table before her. Ashoka looked down at the paper.

"Where'd you get this from?" She rubbed her head as it seemed she was suddenly struck by twinges of pain.

"You OK?" I asked.

"Don't know?" She peered cautiously at me. "Keep getting these headaches?"

"Anyways." Ashoka shook the discomfort off as her attention returned to this paper I'd just produced. "They look like space coordinates or something?" She commented. "I don't know what it means though?"

"Well, uhh? Do you think it could have anything to do with General Skywalker?" I popped out with the first thought that crossed my mind as another sudden wave of intense dread gripped me. Ashoka too jumped in fear, as she quickly snatched up the paper for a second look.

"It is him. He's in trouble." She announced as she sprang to her feet and strutted toward the door.

"Ashoka wait!" I called after her. "What about Rex?"

Ashoka suddenly stopped and turned around. "What about Rex?" She shook her head in confusion.

"He... he... er? He loves you." I said.

"Wha...?" She cast me one of those profoundly dumbfounded looks.

"He loves you because..." I paused a moment. "Because no greater love has a man than he lay down his life for a friend." I raised a hopeful eyebrow at her. "Right?"

She only stood paralyzed.

"Ashoka!" She began to parrot as she paced back and forth. "How many times have I told you that you can't let your personal feelings get in the way of the mission." She recited in the manner of Skywalker. "Attachments are bad news. There's a reason they are forbidden in the Jedi order and don't ever forget that!"

She suddenly stopped and looked at me.

"I guess attachments are a difficult thing for everyone." She said sadly.

"Well I've heard it said, that the problem is not in attachments; it's in knowing when, where and how to let go." I offered.

"Yeah, I've heard...Rex say that...too?" Ashoka's disjoined thoughts trailed off. "Maybe it's time to let go of Rex?" She concluded flatly.

"No!" I objected. "I don't think it's Rex you should be letting go of."

"You're talking about my master!" Her eyes narrowed upon me.

"You have one Master and that's God!" I told her with conviction. "You've spent three years fighting this war for the cause of justice and what's good and you've done that all this time with your clone captain beside you. Where was Skywalker when you got excommunicated from the order?" I nearly yelled at her. "And who was it in that cargo box with you? It wasn't Anakin; your...your... master? Is that what you call him?" I began to mumble to myself under my breath. "Just like that psycho Boba told me about. Master... master...Bates."

Ashoka stopped and looked at me. "Rex? Rex?... Rex." She began repeating as if she was trying to remember who I was talking about.

"Yeah Rex." I sighed as Ashoka seemed to be earnestly struggling to fight her way out of the fog she'd suddenly been captured in. "You remember Rex... don't you?"

"Yeah... I do." Ashoka confessed as her arms dropped to her sides. She peered down at the mysterious paper in her hand. "Here." She handed it back to me. "You guys will need this more than I will."

I took a cautious step or two toward her and gingerly fingered the paper from her. "What does it mean?" I asked.

"I'm not sure." She pondered. "But one of those coordinates is the Jedi temple and there's a GAR battle code on there that's used to indicate successful and total annihilation of a target."

The Jedi temple? I just looked at her. "Do you think that's really what's going to happen?" I whispered.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Maybe we aught to ask Rex?" She amended. "He's the one who gave Alexandria the notebook. It looks like Cody's writing but..." Ashoka threw her hands in the air... in the air of uncertainty.

"Hum?" I peered down at the paper, before I folded it up again and tucked it back into my top.

"So, you going to go look for Rex?" I asked.

"Think I already know where he is." Ashoka sighed.

"Well good." I concluded. "Don't loose him. I'd hate to see you loose a good thing." I smiled.

Ashoka peered up at me and cracked a sad smile herself. "Yeah, maybe?" She looked at me another moment or two before she started to chuckle. "I know this sounds stupid and now is probably not the best hour for a trip down memory lane but..." She sighed. "I remember the first time I saw Rex way back on Christopholis, I knew I'd like him." She giggled. "Seems like a million years ago now."

"Yeah, I know." I giggled myself. "Time has a tendency to get warped doesn't it?"

"Yeah... it does." She smiled as she took a look around us and than wandered back over to the table. "Think I'll take that cup of café now?" She mumbled as she peered down into the bottomlessness of the dirty mugs sitting on the table. After being satisfied with her full examination of the evidence before her, she stood back up and smirked playfully at me.

"Besides." She amended. "I think both of us could use someone to talk to right now."


End file.
